My 10 weeks old boy has a really hard time falling and staying sleep. He only takes naps if I hold him to fall and stay asleep and at night he only sleeps if I hold him or is at my breast.
I really don't want to let him cry it out but need to get him to fall sleep on his on and nap during the day without having to hold him
Thanks a lot for the help. I know he is too young but in a month he will start daycare and I'm trying to get some routines that would make it easier on him.
I will start with the routines and once he hits the 3 months try to get him to sleep by himself.
I do wear him now, especially because he has reflux and need to be held. Half an hour after each feeding.
I will let you know how it goes.
I started today with nap routines and even though I rocked him to sleep, he did it right away both times
He is being swaddled and is EBF.
We have problems nth during naps and at bight. For 2 weeks he slept awesome at night, we have a routine and he will sleep for 4 to 6 hours. However we are back to screaming during the bath and waking up every 2 or 3 hours.
Is he being swaddled? There are swaddlers at target, like little sacks with velcro wraps. My son really liked them and they helped him stay asleep and feel comfortable. Also with the startle reflex, they help a LOT. Good luck!
That is really young to even have that expectation. The first 3 months after birth is called the 'fourth trimester' and that is because our babies are born early - comparatively to other mammals - so they can fit thru our vaginal canal. They come out 100% helpless. The first 3 months they need constant skin to skin, holding, breastfeeding, etc in order to start developing at their optimal level.
Why not buy a Moby wrap or something like that? Then you can have him sleep next to your heart (which as I'm sure you know is very comforting, as is the smell coming from your breasts of the sweet breastmilk) while you walk around and continue to do what you need to do.
I'm a co-sleeping, child led weaning breastfeeding advocate... and you will never go wrong with that. SIDS happens mainly to infants in cribs that are in another room, rarely to babies in cribs in the SAME room as Mommy, and also rare is a baby being rolled on by Mom. Breastmilk is the best and normal food for infant - so again, cannot go wrong with that unless you are on chemotherapy or on many anti-psychotic drugs.
I would wait until after his 1st major growth spurt before expecting him to sleep alone. That should be around 4 months.
Not completely sure based on what you wrote, is he unable to stay asleep at night without being held? If it's just naps during the day, I feel like that's less of an issue, and as other moms have said, can be dealt with using a sling or moby wrap.
My daughter is a great sleeper. She has been sleeping through the night since about 12 weeks. But when she was younger we definitely had to use different strategies for napping. She had to be in the bouncy chair in the same room as me for a while, then often had to be in a sling or the stroller to sleep, etc. I guess my point is that when they are young like that, you have to try many different options and it isn't necessarily going to mess them up. A good tip for us was to not to let her nap after 5pm.
At almost a year, daughter still needs to be held a bit before going to sleep at night, but she sleeps great once she's down. Just see what works for you and don't stress too much. All kids are different.
I agree with Timberose, lay him down before he is out completely. You can pat his back or rub his head, sing to him but let him fall asleep in the crib, not in your arms. He wakes and realizes he isn't in your arms and that is what he has become accustomed to. If he fusses it is okay, you are right there, so it isn't like you are making him cry alone. It may take a few times but he will get used to it and sleep much better, and so will you. Good luck!!
You have to teach him how to sleep by himself. So, for the next few weeks, really develop routine. At this early stage, I recommend feeding till a drowsy state. Then put him in the crib. He will scream. So pick him up. Feed him again till he is drowsy. Put him back in the crib. He will scream again. Rinse and repeat until he is relaxed enough to just let himself fall asleep.
Another option is to really find the sleep window. So, you can feed him when he wakes, do an activity with him, and then about less than 1.5 hours later, change his diaper and get him ready for bed. Then, just put him down in his crib. He should not be overtired, so he should be able to watch whatever crib soother you have until he falls asleep.
The basic idea is to get them into a really relaxed state, relaxed enough they will let themselves sleep. You just need to figure out what method you want to use.
Have you tried a swing? My youngest had reflux and only napped in a swing, sling, or ergo
I know it is hard to let ones first born cry! But then the sleep deprivation is even worse! So, yes, let him cry it out - 20 minutes, pat his back (but don't pick him up), repeat.
try laying him down before he falls asleep all the way.
be consistent about laying him down for EVERY nap and at night. He won't be able to understand why he gets it sometimes and not all the time
understand that if his needs are met and this is a want its going to be ok if he cries a little bit. I'm not talking about walking away and letting him scream it out for several min, but a little fussing will be ok for a couple of min.
establish a consistent routine that you do before every nap and bedtime. It doesn't have to be anything really long, but for my son, it was always a diaper change followed by a song (sung a few times over) along with rocking. When he started to drift off then I'd lay him down.
Good Luck!
I would read The Happiest Baby on the Block. Your baby is still in that primitive time when they are adjusting to the outside world. He's been inside you 24/7 and our culture tends to want our babies independent from the get go. You are not spoiling your baby by holding them close or letting him nap with you. When I had my second, I had to wear my son in a sling so I could multitask with my active toddler daughter. He napped while I wore him and it made the "4th trimester" a smoother transition. Remember that sleeping on his own is both a physical and emotional milestone. He'll get there! In the meantime, you've gotten some great advice as to consistent routines to teach him to nap and sleep. The Happiest Baby encourages the 5 S's: shhhhing, swaddling, sucking (pacifier or breast), side position and swinging. Worked like a charm with my second, though he was never the awesome sleeper his sister was. Every child is different. Just make sure you have the age appropriate expectations. 10 weeks is still very little and he just needs his mama. Treasure this time (with the good and the bad) because he won't be I'm this vulnerable phase forever! Good luck!!
I agree with Jennifer W. and Pamela! Your son is far, far too young to expect self-soothing and totally falling asleep on his own. He's still running on instinct.
Learn all you can about infant sleep. THat will help you develop a kind and gentle way to teach your little man how to sleep when he is ready. You can begin to form good sleep habits with routines. Say and do the same things for nap and nighttime. THis teaches baby what to expect and what is expected.
The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears, The baby Whisperer and the No-Cry Sleep Solution saved my life with my first. Great tips, tricks and sleep information.
