Getting Daughter Out of House for Daycare

I tell the parents to pack me a bag and grab them out of bed kicking and screaming if they must. I will dress them when they get to my house. By the time they get to me, it's over.

Two things: You need a more structured routine and she's cranky because she isn't getting enough sleep. Kids this age need at least 10 hours a night. Does she still take naps? If not, then she isn't getting enough rest. I would start by giving her a warm bath at 8 pm, read her a story and put her to bed between 8:15-8:30 each night. During the bedtime routine, have her pick out her clothes for the next day. If she's still cranky, move up the bed time routine to 7:45 and so forth. My boys, 6 and 2, both go to bed at 8:30 and wake up at 7:30. Our bedtime routine begins at 8 pm. If they go any later, they are crabby the next morning. If she starts whining about daddy, grandma, outfits, etc., ignore her. Get her dressed and out the door as soon as you can without giving her too many decisions to make in the morning. She's only 3.5, she needs a simple routine which starts the night before. It may take a week or two to adjust to the routine, but it will get better.

Pick the clothes out the night before. If necessary, have two outfits set aside for her to chose from that next morning that she picked.

Some kids are grouchy in the morning because of low blood sugar. Just think... they've spent the last 10 hours without any food in their system. Greet her with a class of juice and give her a few minutes to drink that and have it get in her system.

If she isn't getting ready, I like the one person's suggestion... just bring her in her jammies with her clothes... a few times of that may be enough for her to get ready quicker in the morning.

Would it help if daddy were the one to wake her? That way, she gets her kiss and hug from daddy.....

i think you've got a whole lot of separate issues going, but the biggest one is that SHE is clearly in charge of the house! set a boundary, say what you mean, and back it up. give her two choices of outfits, she's 3, hold her down and dress her if you have to - if she "wants" a different outfit in five minutes, bummer, she can wear it tomorrow. quit giving in to her demands of calling daddy, etc. she's doing all of these things because they work - when they stop working, she'll stop doing it. and, in my opinion, 9pm is WAY too late for a 3yo. for a child that has to be up before 6am, i'd look at 7pm, 8pm at the latest. i'm sure a lot of it is the adjustment to a newborn baby, but let her know you're in charge, a lack of boundaries/rules can cause a lot of insecurity. good luck, it will get better!

There's too much negotiating. Believe me, I have an almost 8 year old and I made a similar mistake. Choices are good, yes, but not when it's disrupting the whole house and she's running circles around you. Set some strong boundaries now and you'll thank yourself later.

When she is not upset, sit her down and have a talk about how the morning routine is going to change. Not a long wordy dissertation, just clear simple language. " We are going to choose your clothes the night before and that's what you will wear tomorrow." If she can choose weather appropriate clothes let her choose what she wants to wear. I never cared about the matching part, but if that's an issue for you then choose two outfits for her and let her pick.

If, the next day, she refuses to wear what you've chosen tell her she can either get dressed or you will put it in a bag and take her to school in her pjs and follow through. ( Have a talk with your provider about what you're going through at home and that your plan is.)

As far as calling daddy. I would validate her feelings about missing him being tired etc... and tell her that you can write daddy a note or she can draw him a picture. She can tell you what to write and you can write for her.

I'd also put her to bed earlier. My kids have always gone to bed no later than 8pm and when they are really run down or busy they go at 7:30. She needs more sleep, unless she's taking a fat nap during the day. Even then, I'd work on shortening the nap and getting her to bed earlier. It will make her daytime behavior better as well.

Set up a clear routine and don't vary from it to play or engage in a lot of other activities that she wants to do rather than getting ready. She probably is having some behaviors relating to her little brother being in the picture, but it seems the larger issue is that she's been allowed too much free reign and control of the house. Time to reel her in.

Good luck!

I personally would not wade my child at that time if they didnt need to go to daycare at that time. Daddy can sneak in and give a quiet kiss if he wants. If you want to allow it she can call daddy when she is all ready for school. In my house the kids and I pick out clothes at night so there is no arguing in the morning over what to wear. It helps alot because sometimes it takes a while to pick what to wear but they know what to put on in the morning! I would also do this with lunch if you need to make one! Good Luck!

I feel your pain, our girls have to be up at 6 am as well because we both work, but 9pm is way too late. The 18 month old is in bed by 7:30pm and the 8 year old is in bed by 8pm.

You are also letting her dictate what happens. You are the mom and what you say goes. Have her pick out the clothes the night before and make sure you are clear that this is final and what she picks out is it, no changing your mind. You will have a fight for a couple of weeks, but once she knows you mean business it will get easier. You just need to make sure to stick to your guns and be consistent, don't wobble and let her win, or you will go back to square one. Be Strong Momma and good luck.

You're letting her run your home. Your letting her crying control you. I'm lucky in that I have a boy and he's not a drama king. You have a drama queen. Try watching Supernanny for a few episodes to get some ideas, but the biggest thing is not letting her crying control you.

YOU are the parent, and you're not doing her any favors by giving in to her whims, because that's all they are. She can still have choices, but within boundaries - ex. you can pick 2 outfits together, but once she puts it on, that's it. She can wear the other one when you get back from wherever you are - a compromise where everyone winds.

It's ok if she cries when she misses daddy - just keep telling her where he is and that he'll be back. Tell her you can't call him at work - because you shouldn't unless it's an emergency. Or they can have a lunchtime chat - he can call her when HE's available. DON'T bother him at work with this.

You're going to have to put up with some hell until you get control of this again. Put her in time-out when she has these "I didn't get my way" crying tantrums and ignore her. When she's being a well behaved child, praise the heck out of her and make sure she has special time because having the baby will cause some jealousy. But DON'T give into it! She's part of your family, she doesn't run your family.

Dad and Grandma need to be on the same page in getting this Diva action under control.

Here's what I'd do:

The night before: Get everything ready that she'll need in the morning. Give her "The Plan." Tell here "In the morning, we're going to..."

You (mom) should get 100% ready to go before you wake her. Then, wake her up and give her some gentle prompts "remember...we're going to wear these clothes that you picked out last night..." Don't stand there getting her dressed if she can do any of it herself. Encourage her to be a bit independent.

Don't be afraid to exert a bit of authority. If she decides on an outfit the night before, that's the one she's wearing. No arguments, no changing. If she cries and you give in...she'll know that's all she needs to do every time she wants to get her way.

Best of luck!

She is still a very little girl, and has had a big change in her life (baby brother). I would give it some time and patience . . .

Sounds like someone is spoiled. A 3 1/2 having a fit about what she wears? Not in my house. Videotape her and let her look at it when she gets home. Ridicilous!