Getting Baby to Sleep on His Own

My DD didn't really co-sleep, but she did know I would bring her to bed with me most nights if she was super fussy. DH wanted our bed back and I was done nursing about the same time that you are at now. I have not read "The Baby Whisperer", but "The No Cry Sleep Solution" has some of the same techniques you mention. However, instead of just wordlessly laying him back down from the start, lay him down and rub his back. Try a 'sleep cue' noise or word with him. Put the shirt you wore yesterday in bed with him, so he can smell you there. Any change in the sleep routine is going to demand time from you. At the start, it may be hours of your day teaching him this new way to sleep, but focus on your goals and know that it WILL get better. At 21 months my DD still wakes about 1 time per night, I just go lay her back down and she's back to sleep in about 30 secs-2 mins most of the time.

Oh the joys of sleep. Mine are only 3 and 2 and we still struggle sometimes, but it's better! I did do the method I think you are referring to. I did breastfeed (but not co-sleep) and my daughter especially fell asleep while feeding. When she was tiny, I would just lie her down and she'd stay asleep - not so much as she grew older. Eventually, we had to transition too. I would lie her down and rub her back and sing to her. I'd stay there, and as hard as it was (and it was) I would touch her and sing to soothe her and help her find her own way to soothe. She didn't ever like or take a pacifier so it was a challenge.

As far as the 5am wake up. I would try to cut back to one nap a day and put him down about 7:30 (a bit earlier or when he's tired in the evening). My kids go to bed early and are up early... I think it's just the way they are. For example, my son 23 mos, goes to bed at 7 - 7:30 and is up by 5:30 or 6 and naps for 2 hrs a day (give or take 30 minutes). I've tried later bed times, earlier ones etc, but he's just an early riser. Sometimes, it's just the way it is.

Go step by step, and you'll get there. Maybe just first work on getting him to be able to fall asleep on his own - then you can work on the schedule changes.

Good luck!

I lived by the Baby Whisperer's advice with my older son!

I used that style of soothing with both my boys, and think it worked well. Basically, once I put them down for the night I don't pick them back up (unless they're feeding, sick, or something like that). If they woke up during the night and were fussy, which my 7 mo old still does, then I just go in and put him back in a comfy position, rub his back/tummy/head, and try to soothe him that way. When he was littler and would get really upset, I would actually lean over the crib and put my arms around him so he felt more secure, but I didn't actually pick him up out of the crib.

My older son was a terrible self-soother, but this method worked well to help him learn how to fall back asleep during the night without me rocking, holding or feeding him. My baby is still getting fed at night, so he does get picked up for that, but he's also getting better about falling back asleep on his own and not needing me to soothe him every time he wakes.

In answer to your other question - at first I think it does take a lot of time and dedication because you have to stand by the crib rubbing and soothing them until they calm down (and sometimes come back in a few minutes later to repeat the process), but once they get used to that I think you'll find that it doesn't take much to get your baby back to sleep. I spend no more than a minute or two soothing my baby now in this way.

Good Luck!

I think it's a matter of baby steps. My 9 mo old is just starting to fall asleep w/o nursing but will any chance he gets. We took a blanket (any favorite toy will work too) and always covered him while nursing to sleep. After a while we would walk him covered until he gets drowsy and then rock him. This is where we are now. It is my hope when he's older I can lay him down cover him and sit with him then eventually lay him down cover him then leave. It seems to be working. He has no preference to a special blanket though some kids do. I still nurse to sleepduring the night but otherwise he rarely nurses to sleep now. For co sleeping we put the pack-n-play in our room and put him back to sleep and laid him down. When he woke up I did it again. At least 3 times before giving in. It took one month once he was sleeping in the pack-n-play I was able to move him straight back to the crib since he naps there he was used to it. HTH

I have not co-slept with my baby, but from my experience, and since your husband is out of town, the most reliable and quickest method is to do it cold turkey; now maybe you can put a shirt of yours that you wear in his crib for the comfort level and because it has your smells, but basically whatever you do to appease him to sleep on his own, is what he will be accustomed to, especially the longer you keep on doing it. So if you pick him up or tend to him after he goes down, he will require this always. This is why cold turkey is best. You might have a few sleepless nights, but by the time your husband comes back, he should be adjusted. Again, this is from my own experience and what I've read, I'm no expert.

One last thing that jumps out at me--it seems that he is not getting enough sleep; try putting him to bed at 6 or 6:30pm. 5 am wakeup is WAY too early, he should be sleeping 12-13 hours through the night. GOOD LUCK! It's not easy, but you've got to have him understand that this is how it's going to be, otherwise you will be laying him down 100 times.. every. single. night.

I understand that you are not for a cry-it-out method. But how do you define that? Most people when they think of cry-it-out think of leaving them indefinitely to cry until they exhaust themselves and fall asleep. I agree that there are big problems with that. Would you be open to methods where you leave them for a few minutes at a time, but always return? I did that and it worked like a charm for all 3 of my kids. If you're open to that, I think it is the easiest way to get kids sleeping by themselves. I know there are no-cry options, but like you, I was always completely frustrated by them - they take way too much time & effort for me. I just completed a post on my method that typically works within a week or two & you see progress right away. It is a firm plan that saves your sanity. And in my opinion, it sets boundaries for your child without traumatizing them. You always come back - you're only gone for a few minutes - they know you are there for them & they feel security in knowing you will always come back in, but they learn that crib means sleep time & they learn to self-soothe. If you're open to it, go to my files & check out my last post before this one. Otherwise, I hope someone else has some tips that you're more comfortable with & that will work! Happy Sleeping!

my son has his days and nights mixed up. we started the lay down method and it seems to be working. Give him more cereal or what ever if hes just waking up due to being hungry he might sleep all night with more cereal.I also give my child a tippy in his bed and as long as he can find his tippy and blanky he puts himself back to sleep.
If he cant find one or the other forget it. I think part of it is he gets thirsty at night not necessarily a security thing.