My son is 27 mo and has been in twin bed for 2 months. In the last 3 wks it's been taking us 1 1/2 hrs to get him to stay in bed. He's at a phase (for 3-4 months) where he needs a security object to go to sleep, like a sticker or matchbox car, and he used to sleep fine once he picked out his sticker and car. However, in the past few wks, he gets up multiple times wanting a different sticker or different car. We obliged for a week, but in the past 2 wks have told him he doesn't get another one. We have even resorted to taking away his current sticker or car and this throws him into a HUGE tantrum. He lays in the hallway and just cries out for his car or sticker. We tell him that when he goes back to bed, he can have it back. Sometimes we physically place him back in bed and will give him his car/sticker, but after 15 min or so, he's coming right back down the hallway asking for different ones. Last night we tried not talking to him at all, no threats to take things away, and just kept placing him back in his room as he was crying to us, but this was totally unsuccessful. We've tried moving his bedtime earlier, to no avail. He naps great, falls right asleep with car/sticker. We stick to a consistent bedtime ritual. Please help us figure out how to keep him in bed without having to give him different cars/stickers all night. Don't want to lock his door and not sure about doing a baby gate since he's also potty training and needs access to bathroom.
Thanks for all the suggestions and support. We're just going to perservere and keep up with the silently and persistently returning him to bed. May have a few long evenings ahead, but feel it's probably the most benign way for him to learn we mean business when it's bedtime (without all the negative reinforcement of threats). We also left a few of his matchbox cars accessible for him in his room so that he doesn't need to come down the hall to ask for different ones over and over. Wish us luck!
I would put a ittle optty in his room and do the baby gate or put one of those child proof knobs over the doorknob on the inside so he cannot open. He is rejecting night time bestime which I am sure is a phase but either way right now he is geting your attension even if it is you putting him back to bed. I hope I remember this when I get ready to put my daughter in a big girl bed. Good luck, trial and error will eventually find a solution.
Its just his age...ie: growing-pains. Whenever a child is about to hit another new age-juncture or is in a new age bracket, it tweaks them. Its a phase. One of many.
If looked at in a biological/developmental way... then for me, punishments/time outs will not work. Because they can't help it that they are having growing-pains or changing developmentally or even teething. And then we have to choose whether to battle it out... or not. Something like sleeping or napping or bathroom or eating phases, to me... are not something to battle about.
ALSO at this age, they begin to have night-time 'fears' and also separation -anxiety (which still can occur although it is expressed differently per their age)... and we can't just turn-off their imaginations.
Sure stick to your usual routine. But how about, in a basket beside his bed... put SEVERAL stickers/cars for HIM to choose from, for bed. And even if he changes his mind, or wants more than the obligatory 2 things... then fine. Its no big deal how "many" he has... the point being that he feels some sense of security and regularity with it, and that "he" can choose... too. I don't think the issue here is "how many" stickers or cars he is allowed to have.... nor that it 'has to be' only 2 things.
For us, my son has a basket next to his bed with a few favorite toys & a flashlight in bed with him. AND, he is allowed to choose which one he wants and if he wants to choose another one, HE can. We allow it and he has been responsible about it for a little guys his age... and because we allow it, he has been more independent and happy to go to bed. And once he is done "playing" then he is fine and he goes to bed. No battles about it. It has taught him self-reliance too.
Also though, kids just get lonely in bed or their room by themselves in the dark. When I was that age, I did the same thing. It was just a phase.
No need to lock his door or put up gates. A child will learn to navigate themselves through this with a little help. They are still very young.... and it takes time and allowances & our help for their developmental tweaks along the way. NOTHING is engraved in stone. It won't last forever.
All the best,
Susan
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I am experiencing the same thing with my son (almost 2 1/2) and it is so aggravating! He throws a hysterical fit after being tucked in and we tuck him back in about 3 or 4 times before he settles. It usually comes down to me getting frusterated and telling him point blank that I am NOT coming back in and that's it. I feel so bad about the whole thing because I worry that he's scared and afraid of the dark, but we've tried a night-light, his teddy bear, more milk.....none of it has helped, so I have chalked it up to a phase and I just hope it is. I understand where you are and I hope things smooth out with your son. :)
My comment is only to support you in letting you know you're not alone. A friend asked the same thing on Facebook earlier today. No one had any advice, just a lot of empathy that we're all going through it.
Good luck!
It sounds like your doing the right things. its just him being independent and you just need to keep doing what you are doing.
Have you tried moving his bed time to a bit later?
M.
