Hi, we are having a big challenge with our 5 year old son. He wakes up in the middle of the night and comes into our room and falls asleep on our floor. He says he's having bad dreams so we've talked about the bad dreams and done the whole walking him back to bed afterwards. Lately, he's been coming into our room on a nightly basis. My husband and I are tired. Its very disruptive at night. We've tried making his room a "safe place." He sleeps with the light up in his room and he has his stuffed animals in bed with him. He does fine falling asleep. The problem is STAYING in his bed. We have tried a rewards system for staying in his bed, but it's not working.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? What finally worked?
He has mentioned rooming with his younger brother because then he won't be "alone." Is that a good solution or just a bandaid?
Thanks!
My wife and I have dealt with this. We had to establish that mom and dads room is just that, MOM and DADS room ONLY, that we are the only ones that sleep in there. This worked for us. Good luck!
Our boys who share a room do the same thing(only crawl in our bed),sorry I do not have advice since it's just fine with us. I figure pretty soon they will not want to be seen on the same side of the street with us, so I'll take what we can get now:) Actually our almost 7 year old told us it's too crowded in our bed for the past couple of nights so he stays in his bed.....i am kind of sad:(
It's just a phase. We allow our boys to come in to our bed if they chose, and they do share a bedroom. I think it's very normal for kids to do this. It's very normal for fears to sneak up on them in the middle of the night.
Many parents actually encourage their kids to sleep on the floor of the parents' room (as opposed to in their bed). Is there a way he can do this that is not disruptive to you and your husband? A sleeping bad on the floor? His old crib mattress?
It really is a phase. He'll begin to sleep better at night. He might even begin to feel like more of a big boy and want to be in his bed (our 5 year old can be like that).
Good luck!
if you put his brother in his room you are just creating another habit. put a gate up in front of his door to keep him in his room. or you could lock your bedroom door. i wouldnt lock his door for safety reasons. he has learned that it is okay for him to come into your room. you have not mentioned any form of discipline or punishment for not staying in his room. have you tried that?
When I was a child: I had my own room. Even at your son's age and a tad older... I would, during the night, wake up and creep down our LONG DARK SCARY hallway, just to go to my parent's room. And I'd squeeze in between them.
They let me.
I grew out of it.
I was simply, scared in my room, all by myself and missed them.
One day I did not miss them nor want to be near them.
However, that my parents let me sleep near them, this was one of my most CHERISHED memories, of my childhood, of my parents, even till this day.
I REMEMBERED that. Even now.
The way a child goes to bed.... WILL be a memory, good or bad, for the child. It will, form an impression for them, of you.
For us, we have a floor futon in our room, for our kids to sleep on IF and when they need to. It is not a habit. It is no big deal to us. But if sick or when scared or they simply miss us, my kids know they can go there and sleep. And without scolding. They are very independent self-assured kids. And they KNOW who they are. But they are still, kids. Sure, and they have nightmares too.
At this age of 5.... developmentally, a child HAS nightmares and 'fears' at night time. It is normal. Even if it does not make sense to us 'adults'... it is real for them... and plus, we cannot turn "off" their imaginations.
Again, I grew out if it, when I was a child.
EVEN if, for a time my sibling slept in the same room and there was another sibling in the next room.
Almost sounds like the 'reward system' is working in his favor. Have you thought about taking things 'away' as a punishment for not staying? we do that with my kid if she gets up at night ...no TV and no dessert for waking up at night.
Otherwise my only other advise is to take out the lights and put up Xmas lights in his room (not alot..just one string) and tell him Santa's watching. Hopefully he wants something 'super cool" and these lights will show santa how big of a boy he is by sleeping all night.
being scared sux...I remember being that age and scared of monsters in my room etc. mine came from my other sibling (10years older than me) letting me watch scary movies.
EDIT.. I wanted to add that I too went into my parents room and slept on the ground. they let me and we actually talked about it this weekend. they said all 5 of us kids did this and eventually we just got tired of sleepin on the floor. They said they purposly make their floor uncomfortable(if we went in their room we had to sleep with a towel vs a blanket and our pillow was another towel)
Good luck
Have you tried discipline, all this rewarding without consequences when they don't obey is pointless, Ive been a mom for almost 28 years. Our first born did that abot age 3 1/2 4 and my husband told him the next time he comes in our room when he was suppost to be in his bed he was going to get a swatt (Not spanking, butn 2 swats) well the next night he did it again my husband took him back to his room gave him the 2 swats, tucked him him and that was it problemed solved. Its amazing to me how many parents allow their children to have so much control over theirn sleep and other activities de to behavior. Our son understood if he really did have a bad dream or did not feel good he could come knock on our door and that was fine, bu allowing it to become habit does not make since. J.
OMG! My 4 year old has been doing this a lot. She sneaks in after we have gone to bed and puts her pillow and blanket by my side and sleeps. Sometimes I keep thinking about it and it interupts mommy and daddy time...;) I just keep making sure she knows there aren't any monsters in her room and it's safe. All I can say is keep up with the consistancy with whatever you do.
seems lilke a good idea to me.
I wish mine would just fall asleep on the floor instead of crawling into the bed and stealing my blankies.
eventually I think they get it.
i think putting him with his little brother will help. he may just feel alone in his room. you may wake up to find them both in one bed. my husband and his little brother did that as kids. i say let them do that for a year or so and then move him back in his room alone and see what happens.
my daughter also did this and still time to time comes in my bed. i personally dont mind because my husband works all night so its just me in the bed. she stopped for a while after i told her that she was not allowed out of her room except to go potty (shes still in pull ups) until the sun is up. then and only then is she allowed to enter my room. yes i do allow her to break this when she wakes up and comes in at night only because its just me in the bed.
i made a sticker reward chart for my daughter after 5 nights without doing it she got a big reward and then she was used to it by then
He will outgrow it. I agree, make it as uncomfortable as possible, but let him be welcome. Eventually he will decide he's a "big boy" and won't do it anymore. Probably the more you focus on it, the more insecure he feels.
I would let him sleep with his brother unless his brother doesn't want it to happen. I always slept with one of my siblings (there were 5 of us), either in the same bed or room until my closest sister moved out when I was 16. Then I started falling asleep on the couch because i just didn't want to be in my lonely room to sleep by myself. Your boys could develop such a strong bond with sharing a room--there is nothing cuter than hearing those quiet giggles and conversations they have first thing in the morning when they're all cute and sleepy :)
