Getting 2 Year Old to Play Independently

I also have a 2 year old son who is very attached to me. But he can play by himself for some time while I am cooking or doing something. I work full time and he goes to daycare, so I do not expect him to play by himself after I pick him up in the evening :-) because we miss each other during the day and he is usually very hungry at that time. At this age and with this attachment, I would not expect a child to play by themselves for a long time but you should be able to get short breaks... Here is what I learned by experience:

-Do not expect him to play by himself if he is hungry or tired (or sick etc).
-Cuddle and spend time together first before trying to leave him to play by himself
-Start playing together. Most times they are not good at starting to play even if they have toys right in front of them. Say, you start building a tower together, or read a book, or start coloring etc...
-Tell him what you need to do and that you will be right back. Tell him what you expect him to do. ("Mommy needs to turn on the stove, and will be right back. You keep playing")
-You can try just stepping out the door and coming right back, to start with. Then gradually increase the time. He will need to learn to play by himself gradually.
-You can also involve him in what you are doing. He can help set up the table, do some cleaning etc. At this age, they really like to "help". Usually it is not a "help" but even increases the time needed to do something :-) but still you can get the thing done. When my son sees what I am doing and gets involved somehow (like stirring the pot, putting plates on the table etc) he sometimes prefers to go inside and play by himself instead :-)) Also explain to him that what you do needs to be get done and he can help if he wants (Such as mommy is cooking x, so we can eat it for dinner).
-Always praise him when he plays by himself, even not crying when you step out.

About the dad issue; we also had a similar situation, which got better now that his dad is playing with him more. If he plays with him more and has fun with him, he would prefer him more. As simple as that. Your husband may be feeling kind of rejected as he prefers you all the time but he needs to get over that feeling and get bonded with your son more. In a matter-of-fact way, without getting emotional, you can talk with your husband and simply say that your son needs more dad-son time and he will prefer you more if he spends more time with him. He is just a child and prefers to play/have fun with whomever he can. Your husband will need to be involved more when the second baby comes otherwise you will go crazy! There are games dads are better than moms, like playing ball, wresting etc :-) so they can have some fun while you do some chores.

Hope things will get better for all of you soon! I should say I still carry my son around a lot as he loves that, and it also doubles as weight lifting exercise :-))

well, your son isn't going to magically stop. you have to be the impetus here. stop picking him up all the time! tell him firmly that you are busy and he has to let go of you. he can play nearby where you are in his line of sight but may not touch you. if he howls, go on about your business making no eye contact or speaking a word to him. make withdrawal of your attention the repercussion for clinginess. it would certainly help if your husband were more pro-active, so maybe give him some ideas like 'please take him outside for a walk' or to play ball or something. just holding the child while he's screaming for you isn't going to be satisfying for anyone.
you may have to start off small since this kid is so used to being glued to you. tell him he must play by himself for 5 minutes, and then you will do something with him. keep doing that, extending the time gradually until he has really learned that the world is interesting even when mom isn't right there with him.
khairete
S.

You need to train him to play on his own...
You need to start something with him like trains or whatever and then say, "Mommy has to do xyz. You play here. When I'm finished in a minute, I'll be right back." Then do it. If he follows you, ignore him.
If he hangs on you while you are making dinner, pick him up and drop him on your husband's lap and tell him to take the child for a walk or upstairs or wherever. Your husband and your boy need to bond.
You might try leaving them for the weekend - don't call except to tell them you've arrived wherever you are going safely. Leave on Friday and return late on Sunday.
They have a chance to bond and Dad has a chance to figure out how to deal all by himself.
YMMV
LBC

Do you ever take him to playgroups? My son was the same way it seemed until I really started geetting him around other kids. Not that he plays with other kids so much, but it seemed to give him a little bit of independence by being distracted by other kids and following them around, and copying things they did. Now at home he's much more apt to play on his own, and actually does alot. Now I end up feeling bad like i DON"T spend enough play time with him. ANd the other mom was right who said you have to "train" them to play on their own. Set him up with something, explain what he can do with it, and walk away for a few minutes. If he follows you and cries, redirect him back and try again. It nay fail miserably at first, but keep working at it! Eventually he'll get it, but he's not going to pick it up on his own. At least not for awhile yet.

Start with an open-play toy like blocks and play with him for a bit. Then set a timer for 2 minutes and tell him you are going to do something - laundry load, bathroom break, start dinner, whatever - and will be back when the timer beeps. Gradually extend the time giving him different things to play with so he learns to play with different things and read books and such. He'll get used to playing on his own with different things and you'll get more done!

I would go to the library or book store and get some books on bringing a new baby home. THere are pleny of good ones out there on this subject. Start reading them daily to your son so he is more comfortable with the idea of a new baby in the house. Also when baby arrives be sure that your son is given some special one on one time whe when baby is sleeping with both you and Dad. Think about the level of frustration he is probably experiencging, he is still just a little guy himself and his world is changing so dramatically knowing he is being replaced as the center of your attention. I would get some specific new toys that he can play with on his own, bigger legos, a simple train set and wooden puzzles, etc .As for your husband, I would give him a little time to unwind after work but then tell him while you are making dinner he needs to have some one-on-one time with your son so you can work on dinner. This is not an unreasonable request. Get Dad started on this new routine now since you are going to have to do the same once the baby is here and you have to make dinner. Hope this helps. Good luck

I understand your frustration. If it's any consolation, he will play on his own much of the time by age 3 and by 3 1/2 he will spend an hour or so involved in one of his projects. Your little guy is sensing that he won't be your whole show soon, so he wants to get in as much Mommy time as he can. Also, it is not unusual for a child to have separation anxiety from a parent and to reject another parent-- but it is only a passing fad. In the next few months he may be your husband's best friend and you will have some peace. Your son will likely become interested in gender identification soon and will want to be around his father more. I know it's rough now, but I agree with other readers, let him know you need to do a couple things but then will play with him. He will learn that sometimes Mommy needs to make dinner or clean but will make some special time for him afterwards. Do you have some friends of family who could take him for a little bit from time to time so you can rest? You have to be tired at this stage in your pregnancy, and it is important that you keep your stress levels low. If your son becomes accustomed now to being with some friends or family and not with you, they can continue to help you and give you some alone time with your baby.