Getting 2 Kids to Bed

I thinnk right now you are worrying way too much too far in advance. You
have no idea what type of baby you will have. A calm one, a screamer,
a non sleeper (I hope not). What I would do is put the baby the bed first,
and then you have some time with the older child. They do not need to go
to bed together.

Your Husband, will have to held with the Eldest child.
Then you mind the baby.
Since you will be nursing that baby.

It requires, BOTH parents and the Husband helping.
So I hope he knows that?

Then, IF you have the infant in the same room as your eldest, don't expect it to go smoothly.
The infant will wake the eldest.
Infants wake a lot.
Not all Toddlers like that nor adapt to that.
And you will have to, numerous times, go in to tend to the infant and nurse him/her.
That cannot be avoided.

Also keep in mind, that Toddlers will not automatically KNOW how to handle a crying baby, and getting woken up by one.
And some Toddlers are 'grabby' with a baby/infant, and will go to the crib, touch the baby and/or hit it, bother it etc.
So, don't "expect" your Eldest, by default, to just know how to act, older than he/she is. 2 year olds, are not equipped to automatically be all good and quiet and stay still as a statue, in bed either. Nor quiet.

So the toddler may wake baby, or the baby will wake the Toddler, per the baby's crying and waking and needing to nurse.

To me, its not a good idea, to put infant in the same room, as the then 2 year old. They have no fully developed impulse control at this age, and they have their own age related phases they are going through, and needs.

I would have my husband put down the eldest and you breast feed the infant during the routine. Then maybe they will both fall asleep at the same time.

My kids are 18 mo apart and I did struggle with this. Obviously, it will depend on the second ones temperment, I would make sure you have a good solid routine with your two year old first. I couldn't tell if you are still doing the drowsy on the couch etc? And my opinion would be to put the older one down first. Hopefully you can enlist dad in this. Then i would wait a half hour and put the baby down. I just can't see a 2 year old really being able to be quiet and not want a ton of attention at that time of night especially when the infant is 4-6 mo. It might not be so bad at first but when the second is a little more active and demanding, I think bedtime is when you 'll see jealously issues. so i would try to give the older one that time without shhhh thebaby's sleeping. Just my two cents. I think if you try something and it isn't working you'll be able to adapt and change it. It might not be real smooth but you'lll get it.

I hope you have a husband who will be able to help you at bedtime. Unfortunately, mine travels for work and is gone at least 3-5 days of every week. When my kids were 2 and a newborn.....ummmm..... I don't think I remember. I was pretty much in a fog!!! Don't want to scare you, but it's tough. You just gotta muscle through it and before you know it they'll be 9 and 7 like mine! I guess my one piece of advice is to try to avoid the guilt (and not just about bedtime - it applies to spending time with each kid throughout the entire day) I remember putting the baby in her crib to scream her head off while I sat in bed with my 2 year old to read books. I tried having the baby with us in bed, but it didn't work (she wanted me to walk around with her at that time of night) I felt guilty not giving my 2 year old the stories that she loved. I felt guilty letting the baby cry. And then I let it go. I decided the baby could cry for 15 minutes in her room and she'd live to tell about it. She is 7 now and she's the sweetest kid I know (and has no memories of the neglectful mommy of her infant months! Ha ha) Anyway, I just thought I'd tell you that having kids 2 years apart is hard. Do what you gotta do to get through the first year. The day will come that your 3 year old will climb into the crib of your 1 year old and "read" to her. THAT is just priceless. Enjoy them :)

I would agree that I think you are jumping the gun here. Your 2 year old is able to sleep through the night and you have a routine in place. The baby, on the other hand, will not be sleeping through the night for MONTHS, most likely. So even if they do go down at the same time, baby will still be waking up for feedings, etc. They don't have to go down at the same time. Let hubby take care of baby while you are getting your 2 year old to sleep, and then when baby is tired, put her down then. If you are concerned about the baby waking up her sister, have baby sleep in your room until you feel she can be moved into the bedroom once she is sleeping through the night reasonably well.

your daughter will most likely change up her routine by the time the baby is born anyways, so i really wouldn't worry right now about getting a bedtime routine down for the both of them. If Dad is in the picture, I would suggest getting him involved in putting her to bed. It makes our bedtime run so smoothly here with my 2 little ones (they are 21 months apart. My son is 27 months and daughter is 6 months). They take a bath together then we lay them side by side on the floor in my toddler's room and get their jammies on, and they're usually playing with each other and cracking up at each other the whole time. Then my son sits with Daddy in the rocking chair and he reads stories to "all of us" (usually the baby is nursing or louging around in my lap). Then big brother gives the baby a kiss goodnight, and I take her into my room where she's still sleeping and nurse her to sleep. If she goes to sleep pretty quickly I join Dad in singing to our boy while he's laying in his crib. We always sing him the same song twice while patting his back, then give him a kiss and say "goodnight" and leave.

It's really important to have your toddler be able to put themselves to sleep without relying on you to physically be there until they're passed out. It sounds like you've already done that, so good job! Get Dad involved so you guys can tag-team bedtime, and i wouldn't suggest putting them in the same room until the baby is sleeping through the night. My daughter actually sleeps in our walk-in closet with a humidifier and a fan because we live in a 2 bedroom and she can't sleep where she can see/smell me (she would wake up every 45 minutes or less to nurse or play when she slept with us). Best of luck, and congratulations on your pregnancy!

I have a (almost) 3 year old and a 6 month old. The baby goes to bed about an hour before my older one. My husband entertains the older one while I feed the baby and put her down. Then I clean up and get my son in his pajamas and read him a few books before bed. It all runs very smoothly thanks to the help from my husband. You will find a routine that works for you once the baby is here, I wouldn't worry too much about the details right now.

We waited to move our daughter to our son's room until she was only getting up one time (at about 7 months). Bed usally goes ok. We put her donw first then him. He may end up going to sleep a few minutes later but oh well. We start her going to sleep at 730 and try to get him started at 715 or 730 in bed by 8 after all his stall tactics. Good luck. it will be while until you get a routine. For the first few months we put him down and then her, now its the opposite.

Although it will depend on the new baby's temperment and it will take some time to get there, it is completely doable and you can make it work. My first two are 19 months apart and my second one was a screamer, so it took us close to six months till it was seemless. I would BF the baby while reading to the older one when my husband was out of town (he travels quite a bit so I did have to do this by myself often). If you are going to nurse till baby is asleep, then read a couple of books, tell your 2yo to climb into bed, turn off the light and sing until baby is done eating/asleep. Then put the baby in bed and tuck in your 2yo. You'll figure it out and it may need some small adjustments to your current routine, but it will work out. Just have patience the first few months. Good luck and congrats!

I always put my boys to bed at the same time each night, and continued when number 2 came along (21 months apart). It can seem like it would be hard, but if you set the rule and stick to it it really is not difficult to get them both to sleep.