Germaphobe

Mine did the same thing but he has got over it now. It's part of life he just has to learn to deal with it. Good Luck!

Best little suprise....not accident. Just like some people faint when they see blood, he needs a bit of desensitizing. My husband used to gag. Just keep him doing it hopefully it will continue to lessen over time.

I'm laughing at the people who say he's not a good dad or has problems, my husband does almost the same things yours does! Men just aren't hardwired for childcare. Every mom I know has a much easier time of picking noses, cleaning up vomit, poo, etc...than any man does! My husband just naturally has a weaker stomach than I do, and they DO say that women are the stronger sex, we do have the babies after all! Some people are writing things I consider offensive or rude, pay them no mind. No one, male or female, actually enjoys cleaning up after their kids but we do it because we have to. If I'm no home he does it but I do if I am home because I have a stronger stomach. Hang in there!

Hi R. ~

I am a 27-yr old mother of three. And all I can say is: Wow... sounds like you will be doing most, if not all of the baby stuff on your own.

I have had one instance of Daddy getting sick after a poopy diaper. He claimed he would never do it again, but I explained to him that it took the two of us to make the baby, so it will take both of us to raise her. Poop, pee, and spit up are all parts of babies. :) This comment changed everything for him... but I am a bit assertive on the fact that I will not be the only one doing the dirty work.

The only thing I can advise you to tell your husband is the fact that urine in sterile when it first comes out of the body. So other than getting in the "eww" mind-set, he will be perfectly safe being peed on.

Good luck!!

My husband took a father class before his first daughter was born and the one main lesson he took away from it is that the poop, pee and spit up is part of the baby. It's just like her arm or her beautiful eyes. Love the baby, love the poop. I worked in an animal shelter for years and am pretty immune to poop, but he was one of those people who runs and scrubs their hands every time he pats a dog on the head. So, if he can be ok with poop I'm sure your husband will be in time. Do you have any male friends who also have newborns that he can hang with?

One thing which might calm your husband to know is that urine is completely sterile, no germs in it whatsoever. But as for his throwing up and generally freaking out over germs, maybe he should talk to someone about his extreme fears. I mean, it's wise to be careful of germs, ie, wash hands regularly and take care of oneself so we cut down on germs and bulk up on our body's ability to naturally fight germs, but when this "concern" disrupts our ability to care for our baby, I think it's time for some professional help. I knew a lady who had an extreme fear of bees and she sought professional help, and got over it with some kind of fear facing therapy, like she had to hold dead bees in her hand and other exercises. It was traumatic for her but it totally freed her of this fear in the end. I'm not sure who she saw and I've lost touch with her too, but it's worth checking out.

I have one of those too in fact I didnt feel comfortable leaving our son with him until he was almost 2 because he always said he could do it he was going to be sick blah blah blah. He now watches him on his 2 days off from work almost every week. The thing is when I am not there he has no choice but to change him or he is going to hurt his child by leaving him in a very dirty diaper.

The first few weeks that he started watching him They took at least 3 bath's a day every single time our son had a dirty diaper lol It was the only way he could handle it. He also threw away a few changes of our son's clothes because he didnt think he could get the poo out of them lol

oh the things men will think you know there are some pretty funny video's out there on youtube that will make you laugh

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WTij4txO8Uk

with all these responses you have to know you are not alone

Sounds like your baby's daddy is not planning on being a real father or a real man. How sad for her and for you. Is he very young? Maybe he has time to grow up and mature a little. I couldn't even imagine my husband behaving so foolishly. I don't think anyone enjoys being peed on, or changing nasty diapers, but, for crying out loud - does he still believe in cooties? If the smell of dirty diapers really bothers him, have him place a dab of Vaseline under each nostril (it helps with the odor). If he is REALLY sensitive, then he can use Vicks - though that burns a bit. Remind him that he can wash his clothes and take a shower - and should grow up enough to properly care for his baby.

If he doesn't snap out of this, I would strongly recommend that you NEVER leave him alone with her - not even to run to the grocery store. He's clearly demonstrated that he is incapable and unwilling to put the needs of your baby ahead of his own. Even in the best situation, he'd be perfectly happy to leave his daughter sitting in a poopy diaper until you came back. This is NOT fair to your baby.

When someone has a real phobia they cannot help their responce. There are ways to get over them naturally if you want info I'll share with you.
New parents do have a lot to learn. Some of it you just get better as time goes on.

Right now the love and understanding you show each other as you work with your daughter will mean much more then a dad who can't change a dipper.

I know this may sound hard. Ask yourself does he seem to do the same things over and over again. If you notice that, you may want to bring it to your Dr's attention ask for some suggestions.

Possibly go out for a couple hours leave him there with family member or friend to help manage the baby. There maybe a time when he will have to care for the baby on his own. As from past experience nice to talk to someone above the age of 5, on ocassion.

You may lovingly suggest he see someone about possibly having OCD. There are medications and therapy that can help with this. I do not think this is normal.

It sounds as though your husband may have OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This, is a real illness and there is medication. The people I have known with this condition tend to be total neat freaks. They will clean an area that already appears to be clean, for HOURS. You may just have to step in when something happens.

Gripe water (can be purchased at European or Arabic Delis) can help a lot of colic and stomach upset, but you need to check her for Celiac or other things, if this is not in line with others her age. If you're breast feeding, she may be allergice to wheat or dairy that you are eating. You can try eliminating foods (1 at a time for 4 days at a time) to see if it's something you're eating, or take her to a doctor to see if the amount she is pooping is unusual.

Daddy may be a germaphobe but he needs to get over it! Sure it's gross. Many of us moms are grossed out by poop, pee, and vomit too, but we don't have the luxury of avoiding the task. It's amazing what you can get used to when you have to.

If this is more than a normal aversion, I agree that counseling may be in order. Whatever the cause, don't just ignore or work around his problem Now is a good time to take action.

Your child's father probably won't want to hear this, but you need to let him know that if he acts like your daughter's natural body fluids are "dirty" that he will end up giving her a complex that could stay with her well beyond childhood (one that could seriously affect her self-esteem). Please have him talk to your child's pediatrician, or if he won't you should. It sounds like he may need to talk to someone himself about his obsessive / compulsive behavior and other feelings he may be having. Is he opposed to seeing a therapist? I'm sorry to sound so harsh.

Welcome to the germaphobe world!!!! My husband and your husband sound exactly a like. Our daughter is 2 and a 1/2 now and he still has serious issues with diapers, she touching him if she is dirty, etc. I've found that I try to let her be a little kid while he is at work and be as dirty as she wants, and have a good time. Then 30-45 minutes before he gets home I change her clothes (if needed) and wash her face and hands. I just decided that it was going to be easier to just go with the flow with my hubby's "issues". Our daughter doesn't quite understand why daddy is weird sometimes, but she is usually pretty good with not touching daddy when she is dirty, or coming to me after she has pooped. Potty training has been an issue because he won't help (just to give you a heads up:)) Hope this helps...It truely isn't hopeless, just annoying at times.

Embrace your responsibility to care for your little girl. Across the boards it seems like men, unless those in certain professions that involve cleaning up these things, will tend not to get involved. As a woman, as a mom, we are wired to care for and nurture the children. Men express love to their children differently. There is nothing wrong with this. If he does change a poopy diaper, give your baby a bath, or anything else that might get him "exposed" to something, thank him. My husband holds his breath the entire time he is changing our sons diaper. But he does it out of love for me, and to give me a break on Sabbath. I'm so thankful for him, "sucking it up" and taking care of the messies when I KNOW he really, really thinks it is gross. You are definitely not alone. I think it also makes men appreciate women more when we are in our roles because they see the need for us to do certain things that they just would never have thought of, or have done. It really binds a relationship together as you both realize your interdependence of each other. Consider praising him for working and allowing you the opportunity to stay home and care for your child. If he is really good at providing for you all, let him know that. Exhort him in the things he does and does well, and choose to be his helper.
May these words serve as a blessing to you and your family as you grow together in strength and uprightness.

My name is H. and I have a 12yr old boy and an 8mo old boy. When my 12yr old neice was about the same age she spat up and threw up about half of what she ate. Some tests later revealed she had a pin-hole in her intestins that was partly causing this problem. The other reason, she was lactose. Try a soy formula - even if you are breastfeeding. My sister was breastfeeding and had switched to soy. Also there is formula out there for babies who spit up alot ie... ENFAMIL....... Gentlease - designed for babies with fussiness or gas; A.R. - designed to reduce frequent spit up; ProSobee which is soy; and Nutramigen - which is Hypoallergenic formula designed for babies with cows milk protein allergy. Talk to your doctor first. As far as her peeing and pooing on herself, thats what a baby does. Its hard to tell when is a good time to change their diapers. I found the best time is right after they wake from a nap. Its okay to let her cry for the two minutes it takes to change a diaper, then feed her. When she is pooing undo the diaper and watch to make sure she is finished before removing it from under her. As far as your husband, well he is just going to have to get used to it. YES its gross but it time she will fall into a slower routine.

Boy you have my prayers for sure. It truly sounds like hubby needs some serious counseling for these issues. I don't know how you've managed to live with it, let along bring a baby into the household. You don't say how long you've been with your husband, but I'm sure it can't have been easy. Good luck to you all.

My husband acually has a much stronger stumach than I do. I have just learned deal with it all. By the way, your hubby may want to talk to a thearipst about this. Pee and poop is one thing but coming up is blood, broken bones and real vomit. Unless you plan on always being home or having a sitter for the next 18+ years, dad is going to have accomadate parent hood.
I do know a mom who still throws up with her kids but she is able to laugh at it and move on. We all have our issues ;)

R.
You are so not alone. One thing that really helps is to be gone for an entire day or weekend. They have to addapt. Luckily it's not as bad by the second and third child. Good luck.
S.
Mother of three girls 12,8 1/2 and 4 1/2

I guess I'm feeling bad for your boyfriend. Was he in on the baby planning/decision to have one? I think a lot of guys aren't really interested in children and women seem to make them think it's a good idea by implying they will do most of the parenting. Of course, I know there are cases that aren't like this--as in, I'm sure there are women who have no interest in children/guys who "dream" of having them or whatever, but I've seen what I mentioned happen a lot lately. I've been exploring these ideas lately myself to see if I want children or if I feel culturally pressured to have them. Maybe your boyfriend got into a situation he shouldn't have.

I think in general men are not wired to handle baby messes very well. My totally macho guy that can handle unplugging clogged boat sewer pipes, was an EMT and enjoys watching surgeries, military actions etc. He gets totally grossed out by poopy diapers. But I totally am one to say, hey it takes two to tango and you need to know how to do this and the child needs to know that Daddy will take care of them, no matter what. So there's my two bits. :-)Wish you peace!

K.

Well, babies poop, pee and spit up a lot! My daghter spit up quite a but in the first six months! You sort of get used to that spit up smell and learn to carry an extra shirt (for yourself). This is normal new baby behavior! He is going to have to get over it, or you are going to burn out. I agree with the person who said that he will give her a complex about it if she understands that he thinks stuff coming out of her body is dirty and bad. For example, my 2 1/2 year old daughter threw up (full on) at the dinner table at my mother's house. My mom sweeped in, picked her up and took her to the bathroom. My huband followed and helped clean her up while my Dad and I cleaned up the floor, table, chair, etc. The only person who got a bath for the next several hours? My daughter. The rest of us (men and women) dealt with it! She was sick and needed our help. For weeks afterward she talked about how she had thrown up at Grammie's house. She was very upset by it and we think embarressed. We continued to reassure her that it was fine, but she worried on it for weeks. Can you imagine how she would have felt if her dad started throwing up, frantically cleaning himself and otherwise acting like she had contaminated him? You and your husband and in for many years of germs and bodily fluids. He needs to get a grip on this because it isn't going to get "cleaner." Toddler poop and throw up is far ickier than the newborn kind! Good Luck.

OMG! I can't believe these sissy mama's boys. Your husband needs to grow up and be a father. One who helps his wife with his child. What if you didn't want to change the baby either. He would have to. "Oh, no! Don't make me."
Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Anyway, it sounds like he does have OCD tendencies and god forbid he passes them on to your child. It is not just a womans job, I think most farmers are men,no? Who's poop do they have to scrape up? It's a sensor thing and it can be fixed. He needs to get used to it. It comes from a brand new baby, not a rotting carcas.
I want to know, Does your husband wipe his own butt?

you should look into EC
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication

There's a LOT less poopy diaper involved! I stared when my daughter was 3 weeks old and it has been AWESOME! Good luck!