Gas Price Issue...

I would hope, that with gas prices as high as they are, the other parents would offer you something without having to be prompted! Good luck!

hehehe...think it was the mention of the bmw (sorry, BMW in caps, lol) that did it. that tends to make me think that money must not be "too" much of an issue. true or not. it's the impression it gives. some might ask, why even mention the kind of car at all? a lot of us would say "the car" vs "the van" i won't lay into you. just my thoughts on why some might be a bit indignant...

and no, i wouldn't ask for gas money. you actually were going to drive the van originally, right? so you got a break and the car costed less than you thought to fix. you saved money. so you're not really "out" money, you just won't get to "save" even more than you already did. but if not for dumb luck you wouldn't have been saving anything. right? i know that didn't make sense. my point is, you had some good luck with the car getting fixed, take the girls graciously, without asking for gas. if the car hadn't been so much less to fix you never would have had the option. so why make it an issue?

Just something to ponder... maybe the other parents opted out of going because they cannot afford the gas at all?

I don't see a problem at ALL if you ask the parents for gas money. That's not rude. Gas is sooo expensive. I didn't read any of the other responses but I did read your update. I didn't think anything bad about what you wrote. Not sure what people are getting their panties in a wad over. Money is tight for everyone I know and if someone was taking my kids on a trip, I would definitely chip in for gas. It's a no-brainer!

I think it makes total sense to ask them to help donate to the gas cause:-) It doesn't make sense for you guys to have to pay the difference in price so you could fit their girls in. I think I would explain it to the parents and ask if they could donate to the cause.

And, I just read some of the other comments - YIKES! Ignore them because you are clearly a good person, and it's wrong for them to be attacking you like that. None of them know YOU, only you do. Don't pay them any mind. I know it's hard, but some people don't know how to play nice in an online setting. You had a very valid question and concern. I still think if you feel okay asking if they could donate to the gas cause that it would be completely justified. Do what your gut says to do. (((hugs)))

Ummmm.....
I don't mean any offense. I really don't.
But, you agreed to take kids in your van. Period.
Now, you want to back out or perhaps ask for gas money because your BMW is out of the shop and cost LESS for repairs than you thought.
I'm sorry. I've been a Brownie leader and frankly, if it was me in charge, I would just tell you to take your own kids in your Beemer and I'd figure out the rest even if I had to make two trips myself to get the kids there and back.
How is it going to cost you MORE to take two little girls in a van you already planned on doing when it cost LESS to get your other car fixed than you planned?
Maybe I'm not doing the math right but you already asked for someone else to take the other kids. Leave it at that.

Just my opinion.

Hi M. B.

I have not read any of the other responses - which I take were a mixed bag from your updates.

But, I wanted to say....

I think you are super nice to take the other girls with you. :)

I also think it would be perfectly fine to ask for gas money. Especially with the ever escalating prices and the fact that you would be taking the less economical vehicle to accommodate taking the other girls with you.

Have a wonderful trip !!!!

God Bless.

Jeesh. People read this and see you being a bad guy right off the bat... Calm down people! Even before reading your updates, I could tell that you were trying to figure out if it would be acceptable to make other arrangements, not ditch the girls at home!

Anyway... If there is another way to get the girls there safely (like you arrange for them to be riding with another parent or something...) then I would definitely talk to the girls' parents and change plans. As long as the parents are OK with it, there is absolutely no reason to spend extra money out of your own pocket on transportation if there is another option available. I probably wouldn't ask for gas money though.

I've not read the others advice but I will tell you my take....

You already said you would do it - therefore - you need to do it. This is a matter of integrity to me - you said YES to something - now you are backing out. Not good.

No, I would NOT ask for gas money from the other people. IF they could've afforded it - they MAY have offered to help out....in MY OPINION.

I wouldn't have asked the troop leader to try and find another ride either. You already told one parent YOU would take their kids. How would you feel if the shoes were reversed? YOU asked someone to take your kids, THEY agreed....NOW? They want someone else to do it?....POOR FORM!!

Updated

I've not read the others advice but I will tell you my take....

You already said you would do it - therefore - you need to do it. This is a matter of integrity to me - you said YES to something - now you are backing out. Not good.

No, I would NOT ask for gas money from the other people. IF they could've afforded it - they MAY have offered to help out....in MY OPINION.

I wouldn't have asked the troop leader to try and find another ride either. You already told one parent YOU would take their kids. How would you feel if the shoes were reversed? YOU asked someone to take your kids, THEY agreed....NOW? They want someone else to do it?....POOR FORM!!

Technically, shmechnically. All of the going back on your word (beamer vs van) and the danger of two little girls not being able to go camping because of it aside, I don't think it is proper to ASK for money unless under very extreme circumstances, ever. As you said yourself, you are not making a special trip or going out of your way and if money was that big of an issue, you would have made that a condition before you offered the ride in the first place.

I do, however, think it would be proper for them to OFFER ( I certainly would because you WOULD be doing me a favor!) and if they don't then they are just rude!

This is funny because I am having a similar battle with myself. My parents want to go visit my Grandfather's grave in Arlington Cemetary tomorrow and I want my husband to come - but if he does, we have to drive either an Armada or Denali. If he doesn't, I can take the Prius. HUGE difference in gas. My dad and brother (both vets) are going to ride up alone in my dad's car, because they are going to visit one of my brother's friends who was killed while they were on their first tour in Iraq (Oct 06-Dec 07). This is still too fresh for me to take my kids there...I think my brother needs his own time with his friend. And my mom will need to ride with us - which is why if my hubby comes we would need 6 seats. I'll take whatever I need to. It's a pain with gas being so expensive, and really, do what feels right for you. I know you said you'd take them, but if other people are going and have two extra seats, why can't they ride with someone else? Don't feel bad if you don't take them. I wouldn't ask for gas money, but I would hope they had the decency to offer, since you would be taking their kids. Good luck!

Maybe you could suggest (for next time), that any of the kiddos getting a ride need to pay $10 to cover gas, etc. I think that is only fair especially since the trip is so far. If parents don't want to pay the $10, then they can drive!

I think it is expected that others pay for gas when you drive them. I have never had to ask, it has always been offered if I drove, and I have always offered if others drove my kids. On top of that you are sort of "baby sitting" as well, at least for the duration of the ride - which is pretty long. I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask for some gas money. If they need an explanation then just say what you said above: the other car would save you a lot on gas money.

you already made a promise/commitment so you have to stick to it....if gas money was an issue it should have been raised when they originally asked you to take the 2 girls (the parents should have offered iregardless)....maybe you can at least take one of the girls & someone can take the other, that way you can take the bmw....otherwise suck it up & take the 2 girls & don't ask for gas money now, it's a little to late

I think you should have the troop leader either ask ALL the parents to split the cost, rounding up for wear and tear, or see if there are troop funds to cover this expense for all the drivers. OR a combination of the two! It is completely understandable and very valid that you would need help with such a growing expense. I'm going to keep this in mind for our troop if we every travel a significant distance.

ADDED: Wow! I think some of these ladies saw BMW and jumped all over you for it. That my friends is a form of discrimination. She has a VERY valid concern! She hasn't said she won't go, she is dealing with a life issue we ALL are dealing with, rising costs and one that we can't control or really know what it will be at the time she goes on this trip. She's not talking about an extra $20, do the math it will be MUCH more. I WOULD never expect ANYONE to give me a free ride, including someone with a ..... "Beemer". The troop leader should help work this out and NOONE should be surprised at the request or suggestion of helping pay for gas. If it's a hardship for someone, they(the troop) can work it out. I highly doubt that would mean someone WON'T go! If it does let me know, I can ask the girls in our troop if they would want to help and I bet the would say yes!

I wouldn't ask for gas money because you were originally going to take the Van. But I totally get what you mean. Maybe the girls parents will offer some gas money or maybe they are strapped for cash and this is the only way they are able to send their girls on the trip.

Best of Luck!

When we did girl scout trips, my parents had a suburban. We ended up taking a lot of the girls. The other parents were always asked to help with gas money. They never even had to ask, it was organized by the troupe leader. It was just part of the process, that all the parents expected. I would talk with the troupe leader and see if she can arrange the other parents helping with gas money. It really should have been offered already, in my opinion. No matter what vehicle is taken, the other parents should be contributing. It doens't matter what original vehicle you were going to take. It's common courtesy to contribute to gas prices when taking someone else on a trip.

Either way, you already agreed to take these girls...so you need to do it.

I don't think you should ask for money. When originally asked, you said Ok thinking you'd drive the van. Now YOU are changing your mind to the BMW and thinking now it's gonna cost more. In the beginning it wasn't going to cost more because you were driving the van. I don't think you should ask for money either because in the beginning you didn't say you'd take them if you got gas money for it, that wasn't even on the table. I think to be a reliable and dependable person you should stick to your end of the deal. That's what we teach our kids, isn't it?

You made the offer, it was accepted. Go with your original plan and do not ask for $$.

By mentioning it to the leader, she now has the idea that you prefer not to take the other 2 girls and is probably in an awkward sppt trying to find alternative transportation.

Don't ask for $.

I get what you're asking. What did the troop leader say? I do think by asking her to see if anyone else could take them you made it seem like you didn't want to unless you HAD to. No matter the circumstances, you did agree to let them ride with you. Now, if the tire thing had been the reason I think you would have had a valid point. I say, if you cannot take the van for the reason of the tires, you need to try your hardest to find these girls another ride and not leave it to the troop leader. That could end up with two girls stranded in the parking lot and a bunch of adults looking at eachother wondering who is taking them. If you can take the van, do, and don't ask for gas money. In the future, don't extend yourself beyond your means (I know that is hard when you have a giving heart).

Seriously? You won't like what I have to say but here it is.

YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO IT!! SO DO IT!!! How bad of you to back out and put the responsibility on someone else!!! Where is your personal integrity? Does this mean you do not keep promises? This is how I interpret this...

Gas didn't bother you when you said you would...now that the BMW got fixed and didn't cost as much - you are concerned about gas?! NO WAY!

DO NOT ask for gas. IF the other person could afford it - they would have (at least I hope so) offered. IF NOT? NO BIG DEAL!

ANSWER IS: YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO IT. PERIOD. DO NOT put this off on someone else. DO NOT BACK OUT unless you are in a habit of making plans and backing out?????

If you are comfortable asking the troop leader to suggest it, I say GO AHEAD! It would be nice for the leader to just mention something to the mom like, "If you're willing to contribute a little for gas, that would be great." That way, she won't be put on the spot in front of you. If she does, great. If not, oh well.......

And I think it would be perfectly FINE if you choose to ask her yourself! Just make a little mention "if there is any way that you can chip in on the gas for the trip, we would really appreciate it. But if you can't, we understand." And let it go.

No biggie. You're probably over-thinking this. (I always do........) It's probably not that big a deal.

I totally disagree with some of the answers on this question. I am a person of my word, however, sometimes circumstances change & am forced to ask to be let out of my previous agreement. I find that honesty is the best policy, such as letting them know you now need new tires on the van & you do not have that in the budget at this time unless they offer to pay for gas or whatever other deal you can work out. Talk to the troup leader like Bug said & see what alternative you can come up with.

Some of you Mama's need to calm down! This really isn't something to get that riled up about. A lot of people are having financial problems right now & we need to keep that in mind. Stop reading between the lines. Its exhausting typing every single detail on here, just to not get chewed out by some grumpy Mama. Her question was a reasonable question.

If you are only driving your own children, it is tacky to ask for gas money. If this is a troop event, and you are carpooling girls from the troop, then the help for gas money should come from the troop account (ie. the money collected from dues). If this is not a troop specific event and a couple other girls from the troop just also happen to be going, then their parents should help share in the cost of the gas.

I would be offering up chipping in some gas money if anyone was taking my daughter somewhere more then 30 miles/minutes away.

If the parents do ask you to take the girls, I would simple ask if they could chip in a little for the gas. How far can you go before filling up? My guess is you would only fill up once on the trip is maybe $15-20 to chip in for gas. Not much but something, I would gladly chip that in because it would seem the RIGHT thing to do. Honestly you have the right to ask but I would keep it within reason. People can not always expect that you will cover that part of cost all the time, sometimes all you have to do is nicely point it out or ask.

Edited: I work with a girls program, leader infact, so I deal with this situation all the time. A good leader will understand, not think they are being put in a hard spot and will figure it out... that is what the leader does. We also have the rule: if you can not take your kid, please arrange it personally with another parent to take the child AND you must pay gas money to the other parent. This helps take the "heat" of everyone since they know what to expect. If the parents ask me we look at the distance, gas price and gas consumed... for a short trip 30-60 mins $5, longer trip over 2 hours I usually suggest $10-15, over 6 hours $20-30.

You made an initial offer without mentioning gas money so I don't think you can take the offer back.

I would tell the troop leader next time that since gas is so high that I would need any other riders to contribute. If they were taking your kids they would probably ask anyway.

In my opinion all fields trips have costs. The cost of food/snacks, the cost of the bus or other transportation, the cost of admittance, etc...parents expect to pay for these things. The troop leaders should have handled this differently.

If you had plenty of money and cost was no issue then I would think since you were going anyway then maybe giving those kids a free ride would not be an issue. It would be a very nice gesture. As for me, I live on a limited budget and could not be so generous. The cheaper car would be the choice I would make.
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I just had to add this. I read the other posts after reading your response. How rude they are to you, I am so sorry that people are prejudice against you for your vehicle. It is funny though. We are living on SSDI and have a run down van, it looks very nice on the outside and it runs well in town. I would rather walk than even consider taking it to the next town over.... When I mention we have a Mercedes people just look at me different. They think I am well to do or rich.

Then I have to explain, it's a 1981 model, it was given to me free by a dear friend. It is sort of safe to drive but it needs new tires and other repairs that we can't afford right now. But still, it's a Mercedes and everyone treats me differently when I say we have one.