Girl Scouting Dilemma

Hi there,
I've been a GS leader for both of my daughters' troops (6 years each) as well as serving as Service Unit Secretary and Event Coordinator so I'm pretty familiar with the program!
I actually didn't sign my second daughter up in K because I knew if I did I would end up being the leader and I didn't want to lead two troops, initially. So I waited until she was in 1st grade.
I hate to say it but the leader was awful. She was super sweet, but just really unorganized, poor communication, last minute changes, I could go on and on.
When we joined the troop I just sort of took over.
At first I said, I'd like to be your co leader, and she said great! So we worked together for about a year and a half, but I was really calling the shots.
I don't know how to explain it. I wasn't pushy or rude about it at ALL, I was just assertive and started planning things rather than asking. For example, I would approach her with something like, oh I think the girls would enjoy this Camporee in the spring, I'm going to go ahead and send out an email and submit the reg form for the girls who want to go.
Sometimes the natural leaders just need to step forward and make things happen.
I know this can get weird, especially with an already established troop, and I know it doesn't always work out as well as it did for me (trust me, the moms were glad I stepped up) but if it DOESN'T work out with this troop, please consider looking for another one, or starting your own!
I loved my years leading my girls and their friends, it was by far my absolute favorite way of volunteering my time for my kids :)

We had an issue with communication as well. But in our case I'd say it was a 50/50 issue. We're a new troop and hadn't ironed out all of the procedures and events so the information trickled downhill rather slowly last year.

Half the time the parents would forget to check their child's folder for the newsletters and permission slips. Then they would bombard us with phone calls and emails trying to get the information. Or they would just forget about events entirely and their girls would miss out :(

I suggested we start a website and the co-leaders agreed. I created this website http://www.ourgstroop.com/bgm/

I enter all of the meeting, events, field trips, etc. on the calendar. I can also setup an RSVP sign up sheet and downloadable permission slips for each event so we know who is coming.

All of the parents have joined the site and signed up for email alerts of "News Articles." If we have to cancel an event or move a meeting time, I just place a news articles and all the parents instantly receive an email alert.

The website has illiminated the numerous phone calls and email exchanges. All of the information is kept in one easily accessible place so there is never any doubt as to what is needed that week or where/when an upcoming event is.

This particular hosting site made it extremely easy to set everything up. I am not a web designer by any means. This is the first and only website I've ever created.

Perhaps you could offer to create and maintain a website for your troop. The troop leader should have already received this year's list of scheduled events from the service unit. I would also suggest to her that you be added to the service unit email contact list as you would be the one maintaining the site and would need to know any changes immediately.

She may very well be relieved at having this portion of the job off of her shoulders.

If she is not open to help in anyway then I would absolutely start looking for another troop to join. If you can not find an available troop, consider starting your own troop. You could recruit members through your daughters school, church, sports, dance studio, etc. Heck if the other parents are as unhappy as you are they may jump ship and come over to your troop.

Peace and Blessings,
T. B.

I have been a girl scout leader for 5 years. It's a bear of a job. Some people are good at it, some people are good at parts of it. Some people aren't so good at it. You do not have to be in a particular troop. If you don't like how it's going, you can start your own troop. Other than that, it's not like you can complain to someone - she's volunteering her time and isn't paid. You've offered your help. If that doesn't work, then start your own troop.

Please start your own troop now. I regret not starting my own troop. We have gone through various leaders and even more coleaders. You can do it and make it awesome. It is not being disloyal or abandoning her.
Just tell her you are inspired and have decided you want to share your passions with more girls. It won't get better. She should be full of enthusiasm and doing her best right now(the honeymoon period).

Also, there is a new site called rallyhood that lets troops set up a facebook type page for free. That way the parents can see the schedule, get reminders, etc...

I am a girl scout leader for the first time this year for my daughter who is in first grade. We have a troop of 15 girls and 3 leaders. I will tell you, this is a LOT of work. With 3 of us working on it, it's still like a part time job. Way more work than I anticipated. But myself and my other co-leader are extremely organized (I used to be a project manager so this is in my wheelhouse), I mean we have spreadsheets and project plans and agendas and "to do" lists - we quickly realized we would have to be organized. The 3rd leader is so creative and her older daughter is also in GS so she has so many great ideas.

I'd try to give the leader a break. It's probably much more than she thought it would be, esp if this is the first year she is doing it. I don't think there is a lot you can do unless you are willing to become a leader yourself and take over the organizing. Since there have to be 2 leaders no matter how big the troop, I'm assuming she is being helped by her co-leader?

Either become a leader yourself and fix what is wrong, or find another troop or find another activity.

sounds you would love to have your own troop, go for it.

Just be aware from what i have heard National and Council have made alot of changes and my personal experience is that the entire program from the top down is a disorganized mess, with lots of new things to absorb.

When you talk about her cancelling things, are they for personal reasons???, because she failed to line up guest speakers and field trips??? or because she wasn't getting a good response from parents and scrapped it??? If you can pin point what is goign wrong that might help.

Also, can you tell her at pick up that you need to know what time this or that program will be INPERSON??

another suggestion is to check the girlsscout website for activities in your area, and get the details there or plan your own activities, you don't have to go as a troop.

I'd switch troops or head one yourself

The Girl Scout experience is VERY different from troop to troop and leader to leader.A leader can make it the most wonderul experience or drive everyone away because it is that awful.

You may want to ask the council leader if there is another troop you can transfer into or see if there is a way for you to lead the troop (if you are interested!) That pretty much seems like your only options.

We had a lousy first Daisy Scout troop. The mom in charge was very flaky and cancelled every field trip but one. It was awful. Thankfully, she dropped out on her own and we moved on to a much better troop.

Don't wait. Start asking around at school about other Daisy Scout troops. We found ours through a friend who raved about her daughter's great troop. I wish we didn't wait it out and had switched troops much earlier.

Request a parent meeting where all of the moms plus the leader meet together for a couple of hours and go through the schedule for the year, the expectations for meetings, there's time for suggestions to be made for outings and field trips and activities, moms can volunteer time for meetings as needed, and maybe one or two of the moms can volunteer as a co-leader or assistant leader so that there's less likelihood of a meeting being cancelled. Then if SHE cancels, the meeting doesn't get cancelled. Make her accountable by having a co-leader who has access to the entire schedule and list of activities, etc. It's not too late in the year to do that.

Hi, Mom:

It is a troop problem. You need support to confront her.
Here is a list of things to bring out and contact other
mothers to help you by sharing their concerns.

Tell her what you thought when you realized what had happened. (Not getting information out, etc.)
Tell her what impact this has had on you and others.
Tell her what has been the hardest thing for you.
Tell her what you think needs to happen to make things right.

If this doesn't resolve the difficulty, report your concerns to her upper level
manager.
Good luck.
D.

Have a sit down coffee chat with the leader. Tell her you have had another child go through GS, so you completely understand what an enormous job it is to be a leader. Tell her you've noticed quite a few events, if not most, get cancelled, and you're sensing she is overwhelmed. (Approach from a concerned way, not an irritated way). Ask her in the nicest possible way if she would like you to take over as troop leader. Honestly, there is a very good chance she will be RELIEVED at your offer. If you aren't prepared to take on this extrememly large and time consuming role, don't offer. But you really can't complain then either. If she says no, she doesn't want you to take over, and she gets defensive, you can look for another troop, start up another one yourself, accept it won't ever the be same experience your older DD had and take it for what it is, or have your DD drop out and join up with activities that do not rely on volunteers.

You may have to look for another troop. My daughter has been in scouting since first grade (she is now a HS senior). Over the years, we've had awsome, dedicated leaders -- and we've had some not-so-great leaders. The bad ones were either control freaks who could not, would not delegate, OR they only became leaders because they needed a troop for THEIR daughters to be in and only catered to their girls' needs and desires. The worst one we had (thankfully for only one year) was both. Or consider becoming a leader and starting your own troop if discussions with this leader don't work. She may just be overwhelmed and feel that asking for help would seem like failure.