Frustration W/ My 1St Grader

Updated on October 10, 2007
M.B. asks from Tampa, FL
6 answers

Hello,
My oldest is in first grade. I have two younger, my son will be 4 next month and my baby girl is almost 18 months. I feel like pulling my hair out when it comes to homework. She is fine when it comes to the writting part, she is in the advanced reading at her school, but math isn't going so well. I look at her papers that she has done through the week and they are good, when she is w/ me, it is like she wants me to do it for her. Is it b/c of the two younger ones? Tonight she cried for an hour b/c she had to make her own subtraction eqution. I didn't "help" her b/c I feel if I do, she will not be learning anything. I get so frustrated b/c I know she can do it. Any suggestions on how to make it easier would be great! Thanks, M.

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A.

answers from Tampa on

Hi M.,
I am a first grade teacher with 10 years of experience and am currently staying at home with my daughter while I tutor. I have heard this complaint many times from parents that I taught and tutor. My first question would be, how does she do her math tests, not the classwork. Many times a teacher and the class do the classwork as a group, so when the kid gets home it all looks perfect. Then they get tested or have to do homework and they can't do it. Some kids also feel stressed or pressured when doing work in front of their parents. I live in Tampa. Please feel free to contact me if I can be of assistance!
Good Luck,
A.

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L.S.

answers from Tampa on

I love Mommy M's advice!!!!! Maybe math isn't easy for her as the other areas. I would do everything you can to turn it into a positive experience or it will only get worse. I'm saying this on years of experience teaching and now homeschooling my daughter. If your daughter sat there for an hour either she really is having a hard time with this or she needs some encouragement from you. I would sit with her and be positive or she can really grow to hate math. And this will all get worse.

Maybe she's having a hard time with this part of math. Usually I just give my daughter a few examples using things she's interested in (Barbies, movies, etc.). Sometimes taking a few minutes to go over it with her saves both of us a big headache later.

If it's because she just wants attention or whatever, give it to her. Try some positive reinforcement. Maybe set a timer (with a very reasonable amount of time) and if she finishes her math homework before that she'll get to help you with dinner, extra playtime, or whatever she's interested in. Sometimes my daughter wants to drag out her independent work and I have to set a timer. She flies through it and it's all correct!

L.

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M.B.

answers from Tampa on

Unfortunately kids catch on really early that mom and dad can do the problems sooooooo much faster and easier than they can, and in their little minds, why not? LOL. My suggestion would be to explain to her it's her responsibility right now and what a big girl she is and how proud you are of her. That you are going to help her by explaining how to do it and helping her with the very first problem, and that you'll be there if she needs any questions answered. Math is so hard today! Best wishes!

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M.M.

answers from Tampa on

MOM...I know this is always easier said than Done!
Be patient, Easy Going, and Be ivolved more! I know you may be saying "I am Involved lady" LOL OK i understand too cause i ahve been there LOL
Math is the Easiest to me...get her favorite treat or candies for math, Example: Get a Large Tube of Mini MnM's and use them for Math at home. Subtraction she takes away some and eats them. addition she adds more to her ones she will eat in the end. and goes for apple slices too, oranges, gummies and so forth and so on. you can also use a good allowance part in math too when she is working with it you can use pennies if it is 1's and nickles if working with 5's ....and what ever you give her to use or how much the max comes to that she needs to solve a problem is what she keeps. i hope you understand my examples and it makes yours and her life easier with homework at home. Take care and please feel free to contact me again if you need to ask a question.
M.

Loving Mother & Wife in Tampa, Fl

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L.B.

answers from Tampa on

Hi M.,
My Daughter is in first grade too! Her teacher said that the homework that she sends home at night the kids have gone over the same stuff during the day. Not to fret too much if she does it in spurts (my daughter has ADHD) but too also make it fun! (and how do you do that? Me, I just want it done and over with!

Best of luck and if you need to talk just let me know! Maybe we can share secrets with homework!
L.

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G.M.

answers from Tampa on

If you are sure the First grader could do the work, then to me it might be a regression issue. I would try getting the first grader and the four year old to sit together, and have the first grader "teach" the four year old what they have learned, and about the home work. Then they take on the role of the teacher or parent, and don't feel like the child or student with less attention. Also It may help your four year old advance quicker. I know it sounds strange, but my cousin and I were raise pretty much like brother and sister, and he HATED math. When they had be sit down with him and had him "teach" me he got better, and his grades and willingness to learn got better. Meanwhile, As I got into school I actually remembered things like subtraction, multiplication and division from back when he was doing it, and I excelled. I never got less than an A- in any math class all the way through college. Honestly I attribute alot of that to this exercise we did when I was young. We both learned something new and became closer as we did it more. It is at least worth a try.

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