Frustrated! - Lakeville,MN

good gosh you are pregnant!!!! If you can afford a cleaning service to come in once a week your husband should understand. Once the baby is born you will feel better, get into a schedule and be able to do more of the stuff you did before. Don't feel guilty! Find a way to get stuff done that won't leave you feeling like a wet towel. Take care of yourself!

Shel

I'm sorry I'm in the same boat almost. I'm a SAHM and can't get anything done so I have no idea how you work on top of things. I too am due end of October. I'm exhausted and have no energy. Feel like everyone expects everything out of me but do very very little for me.

I say if you can hire a cleaning service once a week or have a serious talk with your husband.

Also have your daughter help you, I know she's only 2 but make her a part of the cleaning then prehaps she'll think it's fun and follow you along and help and not be a distraction or creating more messes.

I've decided as long as our house is livable and sanitary I don't care about messes at the moment. I make sure the dishes are always done and nothing is gross or dirty but clutter and little messes will be dealt with on as I can get around to it basis. I may not vaccum and have the laundry put away, or mop the floor as often as I want.

J.,
I'm a SAHM of 3 young boys, I work part time in the evenings, and volunteer for a womens' organization. I understand being busy and stressed. I also hate having a dirty home. The key is to be organized. Everyday my kids and I have a one hour independent time. The baby sleeps and the other 2 either play quietly, read books, or play computer games. During this time I usually clean for about 30 minutes and then have another 30 minutes to do as I want. Each day I clean something different so that by the end of the week everything has been cleaned. i also keep antibacterial wipes in different rooms of the house and each day I quickly wipe down all the sinks and toilets and the kitchen counters. I have 3 bathrooms and it takes about 3 minutes total. Also as part of my breakfast routine I sweep the floors very quickly. Adding these 3 things to my daily routine takes about 5 minutes and keeps the house so much cleaner. At 2 1/2 your daughter can easily play by herself for one hour so that you can get things done or take a little rest. It is not neglect, but teaching her independence. You or your husband should not need to entertain her every minute of the day. She's safe and knows that you are right there if she should need you.
After my second son was born I hired a maid for one month and that helped until i was able to get everyone on a routine. After the birth of the 3rd son I sent my kids to a neighbor for 2 hours a day one day a week so that I could get things done. I did this for 3 months and then got them all on a routine again.
I also got my 2 older boys(ages 5 and almost 3) to help out by cleaning up their toys. In the evening they get to watch TV only if they have cleaned up what they played with during the day. The almost 3 year old needs more help but I made it into a game by telling him to find certain toys. When they want to they can clean up the whole house in about 10 minutes.
You can do it all if you keep to a schedule, stay organized, and invest in some antibacterial wipes.
Good luck!
M.

J. I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way, but very understandably so. First and foremost I think you should sit down and have a heart to heart with your husband about what is going on. You two need to be a team and help one another rather than point the finger and blame the other for stuff not getting done. He needs to be more sympathetic to your needs right now. Okay, now that that is out of the way, I have a couple of suggestions. First, you could divvy up the household chores and clean 1-2 rooms a day. You can also have your daughter help you out by giving her a rag (pretend to put cleaning spray on it). This way your daughter is staying out of trouble and doing a task that makes her feel important and special. If that doesn't sound like a good idea, do you have any family or friends that could take your daughter for a couple of hours in the morning one day a week so that you could clean up or run errands? Or, when your husband is off, he could take your daughter out for a while so that you have some time to yourself. Also, if your daughter takes a nap I would suggest that you have a much needed quiet moment to yourself to put your feet up and do nothing, or take a nap along with her.

Best of luck to you! Remember to take care of yourself too:)

When I worked FT I would split putting dishes in and out of the dish washer with my husband. I'd vaccuum once a month and same goes for soaping the shower down. DH said he'd clean the shower and toilet but I don't think he does so I just do it. I also grab toilet paper and wipe the bathroom floor everyday quickly and clean it with a chemical and surrounding area once or twice a month. I usually clean after the girls go to bed but sometimes I'd run around from the time I got home until the girls went to bed and then some. I ran myself to frustration and tiredness because I wanted to spend time with my kids but there just wasn't enough time to get everything done. Just drop all that "needing to get it done now" stuff and grab a task to do once a week or once every two weeks. You know laundry and dishes are almost an everyday event so I'd just work something out so your husband helps out a bit. You can start laundry or dishes in the morning and he can finish the rest when you go to work. Best of luck. Keep in mind that you're pregnant and you get tired.