I have about 5 big decisions to make in the next month and i am absolutely FROZEN. I am having some crazy anxiety and can tell i'm startign to shut down. I've tried asking here for advice ( just about DS birthday party) and i've tried talking to friends and nothing is making the choices easier. On the couple of decisions like DS party where i have 3 options when i try to list out pros and cons it still isn't clarifiing anything, (oh and it's not a matter of leaving it up to DS because he wants a different waterpark/amusemtn park party that we just can't afford so he his pouting about all of it.)
one of the other decisions i don't even know where to start, I'm so overwhelemed with possiblitities. i keep trying to narrow it down.
I know a few of the decisionsother people will end up stepign in to make but that makes mefeel bad, but i just can't do it.
non of it is life and death stuff, i mean a bday party com on, Is there a way to get past this with out needing medicine or cousneling??? I am on my period too which isn't helping.
feeling better thanks. still lprocrastinating but not as freaked out. and who ever said it wasn't just these descisions is right, It's my sil who is perfect in every way whom i would love to emulate but keep fallling flat on my face. I'll get over it.
Oh my!
Clarity CAN be very hard to come by when hormonally imbalanced!
Sit tight for a few more days. It'll all come to you.
If not, there's always Zoloft!
:)
I would take a step back and wonder what else is going on in my life that is causing me anxiety.
As to your son's party - do this - put the names of the three places on a piece of paper - fold them up - put them in a bowl - hold the bowl over your sons head and have him pick one piece of paper - the one he chooses is the place where he's having a party. Stop over thinking it. If he doesn't like any of the options - tell him you will take him out for dinner as a family and have cake and ice cream at home. he does NOT have to have a party.
If you would give insight as to the other decisions you have to make - it would help.
If other people need to step up. that's fine. As long as they have advance notice about what is required of them - that's NOT unreasonable. Don't feel bad because you can't do something on your own. This is life. God put us here to help each other out.
You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to!! Take a deep breath. Let me know if I can do anything to help!!
I understand, and what may be no big deal to someone else is a HUGE deal to you. Take a deep breath, and work on one thing at a time! When I feel overwhelmed, I just remind myself that as long as I am doing something everyday to get to where I need/want to be, it will work out! This will pass, take a break, regroup and dive in!
I so get this! First make a list of putting these decisions in chronological order, choose one that needs to be decided first, second, third etc. Now think only about the first one today. I get like this and tell my husband I really need his help, men are more helpful when you explain you cannot do this without them. Set it up so he will be cooperative, don't say anything negative like I have all these decisions to make, because that implies he does not and all the burden is on you (might be true but mentioning it could make him hostile) Then explain you need him to please listen to all the pros and cons and thoughts you have on the subject before giving his opinion. Then be ready to take his opinion or let him make the decision, remember you said these are not life or death decisions. A day or two later, compliment him on how helpful he was with this and ask him to do the same for decision number two. good luck
When I feel overwhelmed I turn on my Netflix, roll out my Yoga mat, and just do some stretches for a few minutes. Or if I'm really feeling it I'll do some "Yoga Burn" to get my heart pumping. After 10 minutes I'm ready to face the day.
In today's world we have WAYYYY to many decisions to make and too many choices when it comes to those decisions. Just take a deep breathe and listen to your gut.
:)
honest answer: sometimes when you rely on others for advice, you end up with too many viewpoints....many of which are opposing. The end result is mass confusion...& I think that's what's going on.
Time to step up & be yourself. Stand for what you want/believe....& leave it at that. Your issues, your choices & decisions. & when you go to bed at night....you know the truth.
By listing pros/cons, you are actually deliberately delaying yourself. Go with your gut, trust yourself, & believe. Peace to you.
Write out each issue from the most important to the least or which needs an answer first to which needs it last. Use a seperate paper for each and number them, then take #1 and work on that first. It get too confusing when there are too many things going on at one time, but when you work on each one sperately it doesnt seem so overwhelming! GOOD LUCK!
Sometimes, especially when it's not a "life or death" decision, making ANY decision is better than just festering in fear.
Your decision doesn't have to be PERFECT; it just has to be made.
If you choose one thing, and it doesn't turn out as well as you'd have liked, well, that's a life lesson, and you'll make a different decision next time.
If all goes well with the choice you make, you'll build on those feelings of accomplishment and confidence that will help you in making future decisions.
Yes, there is a way to get past this without counseling or medication. You must give yourself the permission that we all have to be "imperfect" and relieve yourself of the pressure of always having to make the "best" decision.
Whatever you decide, the world won't stop. The sun will still rise, and it really will all work out in the end.
Best to you and your family~
J. F.
Eeny meeny miney moe works for me after I've set aside some time to think about nothing. When I shut down and can't make any decisions, even what to make for lunch let alone bigger decisions, I put myself in a "time out" and try to detox. Hot shower and a book with a favorite drink, like iced chai tea. Set up a chair in the yard in the shade with all that while the kids play in the yard for a couple of hours and leave the phone in the house, and I'm golden.
If eeny meeny doesn't seem appropriate, I'll then call my husband or my mom or my BFF for "advice" on their opinion and then go with what they think. I've even been known to call all three and go with the majority "vote" even though they don't know that's what they're doing. ;-)
EDIT: I'm half kidding, by the way. I have some serious anxiety and depression issues that I'm in treatment for, and I know exactly what you're going through. Sometimes it can get to the point of silliness if you're looking in from the outside and when that happens, one of the ways I try to defuse the situation is with humor ie. eeny meeny.
You have to know that even the moms that seem perfect aren't. Not one bit. I feel like a wreck inside 3/4 of the time and I'm always certain that it's 100% apparent to everyone I come into contact with. I'm apparently a lot better at hiding it or it's not as bad as I think it is because I occasionally get friends and acquaintances compliment me on how "perfectly" I pulled something off with so little effort. HA! If only they knew.
You know what?
I had 2 birthday parties growing up where friends were invited.
There were a few others where family was invited, but not every birthday was an invitation birthday party.
When I was about 9, my Mom started a tradition where we went to a fancy grown up sit down restaurant for birthdays, dressed in our Sunday best, and we had a grown up meal, to be followed by birthday cake at home and there'd be a few presents.
With our son, we did birthday parties for ages 3 through 7 (mostly Chuck E Cheese) and then we started doing other things for birthdays.
One birthday, my husband got him a tour of an aircraft carrier - which he was over the top in love with!
We've got a picture of him on the flight deck and he's just grinning ear to ear he was so happy.
Especially if/when they get to the age where they begin to pout - it's time to re-think the whole birthday party extravaganza concept and re-invent the celebration to something else.
If you need medication to make decisions about things like a birthday party, then you'd better get yourself into counseling because the decisions a parent has to make become more and more critical and tough as the kids get older.
