Birthday Around the Holidays

Barring some other conflict, I'd pick January 9.

"I read/heard somewhere that it's not good to have parties after the birthday has passed."

I've heard that it is bad luck to celebrate a birthday before the actual date. Something about inviting death in early. Superstition abounds! Ignore it all. :-)

January 9th seems obvious to me. The hoopla of the holidays is over, school has started up again, everyone's back in town.

My 2nd daughter's birthday is 12/24. I always had her party mid January because December is really busy for people. By mid January things settle down.

If I'm correct, from your previous questions, this is your son who will be turning 1 in January? He won't know about, or ever remember, or comprehend this birthday in any form or way. Sure, he may enjoy patting his hands in frosting, or the sound that ripping paper makes for a few minutes. First birthdays are for the mom, the dad, the grandparents and maybe the siblings. You can give your child a mini cupcake on his actual birthday and let his sister give him a new toy. If relatives live nearby and want to come over, just have a simple dinner with a baked ham, or a lasagna, or simple hors d'oeuvres and let them take photos of the baby and take turns holding him and just enjoy him, on any day that's convenient (maybe the middle or end of January!).

I'd like to offer some advice, in the kindest way possible. Many of your questions have been about birthday parties, invitations, RSVPs, dates, etc, and you sound anxious. And now you're stressing about dates for an infant's birthday. Might I suggest that you relax about birthday parties? Don't try to keep up with everyone. The birthday party circuses are becoming more and more complicated and expensive and stressful and out of control. Tell your children that when they turn 10 (double digits!!) you'll throw them a big party with a bounce house and invitations and a clown or whatever, but until then, parties will be simple celebrations. Go to a circus or an IMAX movie or somewhere you wouldn't usually go, with just your family. It will still be special. But the dates aren't set in cement. If your daughter's birthday is in June but Disney on Ice is in town in July, and that's what she loves, take her in July for her birthday and buy her a souvenir. If you relax the standards now while they're young, you'll save yourself a tremendous amount of headaches. This is just my opinion of course. Feel free to ignore it!

Have simple family celebrations. Enjoy your children. When your kids are 1 or 2 or 3, just keep things simple and family-centered. A one year old doesn't need decorations, or invitations, or festivities on the actual birthday date. On our first child's first birthday, my husband made our favorite dessert (his and mine, not our baby's), and we bought one little cupcake for the baby to play with. My husband and I popped a bottle of champagne at the exact moment of his birth and toasted each other. The baby really enjoyed banging on the box that the toy from his grandparents arrived in.

January 9th would definitely work the best for most people. Anytime in December is too busy.

My daughter's birthday is on the 5.
We will have her family party on the 9th.

We have one around same time, and we do the friend party later in January. So Jan 9th. Works out really well - people are home and there's enough of a break to make it special again for the child. I think we've even pushed it back another weekend depending on what we had planned.

I have a summer birthday child, and we do the friend party in June before the end of the school year - otherwise we find a lot of people are away. We tend to just do whatever makes sense and celebrate with family on the day.

good luck :)

I am another vote for no stressing and pick a date most convenient. I hear January works best because it follows the holiday crush. People are ready for another party and have recovered from the maxed out socializing of the fall/winter madness.

For what it is worth one of mine is right before Christmas, another is Halloween and the other right before Halloween. We opt out of parties entirely and have made our own traditions which our kids enjoy. We have a "birthday" donut with a single candle the morning of and a nice dinner at a restaurant of the birthday kid's choosing. If the kid is too young, then my family votes on what we hope the little one will like (chicken nuggets have made the roster). The birthday cake is made by my husband and I the night before. As far as inviting people, if immediate family want to join in for dinner, great; otherwise, it's just our little family. A party isn't necessary; it's a nice to do but not a have to do. You sound way too stressed and that can't be fun. Good luck whatever you decide.

I would go with Jan 9, given those options.

Although, I personally love what someone close to me does. She has 4 kids. 2 born within 10 days of Christmas (one right before, one right after). And she has 2 kids with summer birthdays. In mid-July, she throws one big party. She lets each of them invite friends and she also invites family and family friends. She gets 4 separate small cakes and writes, for example: (fake names, ages))
Cake 1: Happy 1st birthday Emma
Cake 2: Happy 2 1/2 birthday Eli
Cake 3: Happy 4th birthday Ellie
Cake 4: Happy 5 1/2 birthday Evan

On their actual birthday, I'm sure she has something small for immediate family. But the big extended family and friends party happens in the summer in one big bash.

January 9th

Adding: we also do our kids birthdays when it makes sense. Our spring is very busy every year, so we often do a pool party in July. The birthdays are March, April, and June. We do what works for us to celebrate them...no one minds. .

January 9th.

You could also feel out your core people you plan to invite and see if January 2nd is good. I've been to a Dec 26th 4 year old b-day party and it was fun. It was close friends and family (not classmates who do not normally hang out).

I don't get why the 9th isnt the obvious easy stressfree choice? Our son is turning 1 on 12/26, talk about bad birthdays haha, the day after when everyone is wiped and tired.
Both of our kids are right in the middle of the highest point of puke season too!

Updated

I don't get why the 9th isnt the obvious easy stressfree choice? Our son is turning 1 on 12/26, talk about bad birthdays haha, the day after when everyone is wiped and tired.
Both of our kids are right in the middle of the highest point of puke season too!

You need to breathe....you are ramped up and stressing over something that you just really need to BREATHE over...

this is a first birthday party...right??

It doesn't MATTER WHEN you celebrate it...Personally?? If you are stressing over it this much? I would WAIT until later in January so the holiday's are out of the way and people are not out of town...

Breathe....it's all good...breathe!!

My son's is December 1st so I feel ya. His is essentially thanksgiving wknd. Seems like I always end up having his around 8th, 9th or 10th. No problem. So for you I'd vote January 9th. Hands down. Good luck!

Do it January 9th...the Saturday after his birthday. That is perfect.

Your kid will be turning one. Do it on the day it works for you. Not to be a downer, but you're going to be dealing with this all your life. Birthdays can be small affairs. Or non-affairs. Please re-read Elena's post again-- don't sweat the small stuff.

I would do it Jan 9 for the friend party and do something with the family on the 4th with your son, like take him out to dinner. Or poll your friends that matter and see if they'll be around on the 2nd.

ETA: Will he be turning 1? I'd hold it on whatever day works, probably the 9th, and not sweat it. My DD got sick just before her first birthday and we had to push it out a week. It was fine.

Sounds like you think there is a right way to celebrate. There isn't in our culture. If you live here you can make new traditions. Will your family celebrate with you? If not, what is your concern? Are birthday parties like you had in another culture so important that you want to preserve the tradition? Is pleasing your extended family more important than pleasing the family you have now? Is doing the party "right" important enough for you to suffer from anxiety?

A 1 yo does not know when he was born. He doesn't care if there's a party. When we say a 1st birthday party is for the adults and older children, we're acknowledging that the baby will be OK with whatever party you plan. We celebrate his birth. His age and party mean nothing to him. I suggest your anxiety has a negative affect on him and your daughter, much more than the date and the party have? Anxiety also makes it impossible for you to enjoy planning and executing the party. This party should be pleasurable for.everyone including you.

This is a celebration to be enjoyed. Apparently we.do celebrations differently than your culture. They're different but not wrong. I don't know what culture you're from. I don't understand a party costing $10,000 dollars. Where do ordinary people get the money? In the western culture, when we are an adult we are free to make our own decisions.

Have the party when it's most convenient for you and the people with whom you want to celebrate. When your children get older the date may be more important.

My daughter's b'day is Jan. 3rd. We always waited 'til the end of January for her party. It's just too hectic otherwise and too close to Christmas and New Years. It was never a problem for her or anyone else. Everyone was back from vacation, it didn't interfere with any other holidays or special days, it was the ideal time. Nobody ever questioned us about it and, really, who cares if they did? Of course, on her *actual* b'day, we did family presents and usually went out to dinner at her favorite restaurant. But the party for all her friends usually came several weeks later.

Well, from what I have read from your post and the responders, it is time to make a change.

Celebrate the birthday on the 9th of January and be low keyed in cost at about $150. We live in a country where the majority of the make it through the first year and on. Let the family know that you are starting a new tradition with this child and move on from there. Have balloons and such for you guys as baby will not know anything about the celebration and save the money for a trip or special event later in life (college). If you start now with an elaborate birthday what will you do when he/she is 18?

Good luck to you.

I, too, have a holiday birthday (December) and it is hard to gather people due to it. Sometimes is on the day and sometimes it is not.

the other S.

PS Stop stressing and enjoy life.

A thousand flowers to Elena B.

Of the dates you picked, I would go with the 9th.

My youngest was born on January 12 and for many years, we did his birthday party in July or August because January was so close the holidays. We would, of course, make his actual birthday special and have a small cake and presents with immediate family, but for extended family and friends, a summer pool party was much better than a crowded, indoor, mid-winter, post-holiday germ fest. His first birthday party was in January in our house and I was so grossed out over the number of guests with coughs and runny noses.

Anyway...just something to consider for future years. We've been very flexible with our kids' parties, celebrating their birthdays at a time that was most convenient and no one has thought it too early or too late.

January 9th or even the next weekend. The others shouldn't even be options (especially the 19, 26, or 2). There's nothing wrong with having a birthday party after the birthday.

I'd do his birthday on his birthday and not worry about when others can come celebrate it with you.

When he's older he'll want to have it in January after school is back in session so his friends will all be home from Christmas break. That is when his birthday is.

No one will want to do a birthday party in December anyway. When we have our December kids parties hardly anyone comes. It's a tight month AND it's a busy.

My daughter's birthday is Dec 4 so it's a bit close too. My nephew's is Jan 3. I definitely get where you are coming from but...stop stressing.

I'm a believer in doing their birthday party the weekend before or after their birthday (if their birthday doesn't fall on a weekend in which case I would do it ON their birthday). I personally prefer before their birthday so they don't feel like you forgot. In your case, this year, I would do the party on the Saturday before his birthday (1/2/16). If you are really concerned about the proximity to the holidays or if people you really want there can not attend for reasons like being out of town, then 1/9/16 would be fine.

I have a family full of birthdays in the 2 weeks surrounding Christmas and New Years. One of my kids' birthday is just a few days before Christmas, his due date was Christmas Day.The date on the calendar becomes irrelevant. If it's 3 weeks before or even after, so be it. What's more important is you are celebrating and, even more importantly, keeping it as a separate event from all the other holidays. I would pick a date before Winter break personally. People are still in town, they aren't burned out from all the hustle and bustle of the holidays and are more likely to be able to come. We do something smaller with just immediate family on or much closer to the actual birth date. My kid loves it because it means he gets more of a birthday month than a birth day.

My niece's birthday is just after Xmas, and my nephew's is just before Halloween.
So when they were younger, my sister would just do a small family cake and ice cream thing on their actual birthdays, then throw a big un-birthday party in the summer and invite all their friends. She would rent a water slide and have it set up in the back yard, set out piles of junk food and sodas, boil crawfish, and make a day of it.

ETA after reading your SWH:
$10K for a kid's first birthday? What culture is this? Arab royalty?
I didn't spend $10K on my wedding, much less on a kid's party that she would not even remember.
I would say start your own tradition (every tradition had a first occasion somewhere back in the mists of time), one that fits your own scheduling and money constraints, and those who object can take a flying fark.