Friendship Between 7 Yr Old Boys

I'm just surprised your M. friend is getting worked up about that tiny matter. I understand her view point, but she should not make it a big deal. That's what kids their age do, "friends" on and off.

I would suggest you encourage your son to let his friend play with others and that he does the same, but not threaten taking "friendship" away, etc. Let him know it is ok if his friend play with others, does not mean he stop being his close buddy!

I can't believe the other mom brought it up to you. Geez if all the moms brought this kind of stuff up every time it happened none of the moms would be friends! You should talk to your son about it and how they don't always have to play with each other or play what the other wants to play, but that doesn't mean they aren't still friends. My daughter is 10 and this stuff is still happening. But I wouldn't dream of bringing it up to the other moms unless it was something serious.

Ask your son his side of the story, help him to make the best decisions to be the best person he can be, and let it go. It's all a little trivial, and the other mom is getting a little overinvolved, it seems.

It is reasonable to discuss it w/ your son but it is pretty typical child behavior. My daughter comes home saying various kids have told her they aren't her best friend anymore...because they didn't play with her that day....they are only 4.

That really sounds like the begining of bullying, to me. I wouldn't want my kids treated that way. Threated to not be friends. A simple talk to ask what he says to his friend would help. He may or may not tell you what he says. He might not think it's wrong, but it is. Do you say to your friends, if you don't call me or go to this or that event we're not friends anymore? No, you find someone else to get together with or find another common ground.

Just explain to him to treat his friend the way he wants to be treated. That no one should ever threaten their friends to do anything. A talk about taking turns picking out activities when they play might be helpful too.

The mom is doing a great job on coaching her son on how to handle the situation. She's not fighting his battles for him. I cannot believe some of the responses below. If we don't teach our kids right from wrong when they're young, when do you teach them these life lessons?

Kids say things like this ALL the time! I think as a parent the only thing to tell children about this kind of banter is that threatening to no longer be friends with a good friend is very unkind. One doesn't treat friends in an unkind manner. Remind him of the "Golden Rule" to be treated the way he would like to be treated. It will work itself out. Being a helicopter mom doesn't always benefit your child.

I have 6 year old twin boys and almost every day I hear that phrase from one or the other of them. At the end of the night they are still best friends and couldn't do without each other. I talk to them about it and ask them how they feel when it's said to them and about how they should treat other people with respect, etc. but it seems to pretty much go in one ear and out the other at the point. I think these are things they have to work out on their own as they mature in their relationships.

I have to agree with Amom2 - this is COMPLETELY typical. I have a now 12 year old boy, and he STILL gets in these kinds of tussles with his on and off again "friends." I think your friend is ridiculous to get involved like this and not let the boys work it out on their own. All she is doing is beginning a pattern of fighting every battle for her son, which is NEVER a good thing. I understand that it is hard to see your child hurt over anything, but they need to figure these things out on their own - it is an extremely important part of growing up and developing social skills. As the boys grow, they will form other friendships on their own, and she won't need to do it for him.

I think you are 100% right in letting them do this on their own, but if you feel like it may help to do something for your own peace of mind, you may start by asking him if he wants to start having play dates with some of his other classmates. You can do this in a way that doesn't make it seem like you don't want him playing with Luke, just say "hey buddy - I saw you talking to Joe the other day, do you want me to call his mom and see if he can come over and play sometime?" This way you are encouraging play with other kids, but not making it seem like you don't want him and Luke playing together. Good luck - and I hope Luke's mother isn't like this with him in every battle as he grows up!!

they sound like typical seven year olds. Tell your son that "I dont want to play with you" doesnt mean "I dont want to be your friend" and that he should not be upset if Luke doesnt want to play with him sometimes. Also tell him if he doesnt want to play with Luke he should say it nicely, give some examples "how 'bout I play with Jimmy now and you and I play later"
then you can stay out of it