Friendship - Denton,TX

Sometimes friends come in the most unexpected packages.
I too haven't had any really close girlfriends until just recently. My sons Cub Scout den mom is kind of a tomboy and even said to me once "Ugh I just can't stand all that woman drama."
She and I have become quite close and I realized a bit ago that she is really the only friend I have here. It took me 3 years to meet her, I have known her since she moved in, about 4 years ago though.
But we move this year and she next. I really dont' know if I will ever see her again after we move.

I feel that way as well. I am not from Texas and it seems the friends I do have are not ones that I would trust with certain information because you haven't known them since you were 4 and don't know what they would really do with what you told them. So, I fell ya girl. I am 32 and decided to make this year about me.

you are not alone, all of my friend live out of town, so I can pick up the phone and call but I don't have any really close friends that live in town, I have younger kids (4, 8, & 9) but I'm "older" 45 (not that 45 is old but...) so most of the Moms that I meet are younger and we have less in common, I'm not shy but I'm reserved meeting new people. I have felt the aloneness of it all for many years, and I have wondered the same thing, I'm glad you asked, now I don't feel so alone. Admittedly I have begun to make more friends this last year but not to the point of having any very close friends yet.

Hi. Just the other day at the book tables in the Southlake Costco, a woman picked up a book. Another woman across the table from her said out loud, "Oh, I've read that and it is really good." Immediately, every woman in earshot made slight movements toward that table, wanting to see what book she had in her hand. Another woman said, "Yes, a friend of mine recommended that." I, too, was drawn towards this impromptu conversation, wanting to hear more talk. Immediately, I noticed how all these women who had so quickly gathered around - - about 10 - - were probably just like me, carrying on with daily lives, shopping, cooking, working, yet unknowingly yearning for something deeper, a meaningful connection with other women. Modern life has broken up the "clan", the "village", the quilting "bee" so we've lost opportunities to just sit and "gab." ((Scientists have shown that when women "gab" with other women, their body releases the same feel-good hormone, oxytocin, that is released during breastfeeding and sex!!)) Go to MeetUp.com and check out the "Unbiological Sisterhood." Too far to drive to join their group, however, you can "join" for a time, and just watch and learn. Observe how these women make time in their lives to get together with other women. Then perhaps you might start your own MeetUp.com group in Denton based on an interest or hobby of yours! good luck

I can empathize. I left all my friends behind when I moved to the US. I found the friendships I have made here rather shallow, don't get me wrong, these are nice people and I like hanging out with them, but there is no emotional connection.
I am still not sure whether it is a cultural thing or an age issue. At home you generally have an emotional bond with the people you call your friends, you TRULY care about them.
Here it is more a good acquaintanceship, you hang out together, maybe share some interests - but if that person falls of the radar for a few months... no big deal either.
On the other hand, now that I am married, working full time and have a toddler to take care of, there simply is not much free time to go around either... maybe that has something to do with it as well.
I also try to keep up connections with old friends back home electronically and I do feel a lot closer to my immediate family members whom I speak to on a weekly basis now, to compensate.
Good luck!

C.,
I feel better knowing that I am not the only one that thinks about that. I was a tom boy and had neighborhood friends. I always had lots of kids I knew and liked. I always had one or two very close friends. I just resently got in touch with my best friend. She lives in another state and I only talk to her about once a month. I think the reason we lose touch with our friends is due to our husband/careers/children. We get so busy with the family/careers that we don't think about doing thing or building friendships for ourselves. I don't have anyone in the area that I can call at a moments notice for something to do. I have my family: husband, sister and MIL. I would love to figure out away to get with Moms/Ladies who feel just like me. I would love to go to the movies, out to eat/drink and have a blast with some future friends. I am glad to see that other ladies think about it as well. I wish the best for you.

I think it is rather common. People move around a lot more than they used to, and until FB came along, it was really a lot of WORK to keep up with people that didn't just waltz through your life daily. Also, I think to really have that close connection/bond like a TRUE deep friendship you sound like you have in mind, it takes not just spending time or talking or having commonalities, but having MEANINGFUL SHARED experiences... like starting college together, or memories/times in high school.. or when you are a young adult maybe being the "newbies" at a job somewhere together. That is why (imho) so many first time moms become close... because they experience a once in a lifetime (can only have your 1st baby one time! lol) shared experience.. they talk each other thru all the emotions and fears and excitement.
It is really hard, once you are past those HUGE milestones to share big emotional experiences with new people that will bond you in the same way. Once you marry, you sort of are the past the huge life changing undertakings for the most part (not for Everybody.. but generally speaking). You're not a virgin anymore. You aren't single and searching anymore. You're not out partying doing shock value things. You're not out "finding" yourself... All those BIG moments kinda die down until your own kids are grown up and going through them themselves...
So... it DOES get harder.
It doesn't mean that it's not possible... but boy does it become harder. I have a very few FRIENDS (not acquaintances) and I don't see them very often, because we are so busy with our own lives. So it is easy to sometimes feel lonely for them. Those acquaintances, however, can help me do my "woman" stuff (vent, talk, vent, talk, drama, vent, etc lol) without annoying my husband though! He is my very best friend in this world. But his patience for kid-talk or musing about this or that runs out well before my women friends' (acquaintance type friends).

Hi. I'm going to try and answer your question in two ways and use myself as an example. I moved here (tx) and got married and knew no one expect my husband and his parents. We were married for almost 8 years and I got to know people at church but never really connected to any of them. My husband was a very shy and quiet man who didn't do large groups very much (unless I really encouraged him to). In Dec '08, he passed away. I was 7 1/2 months pregnant at the time and completely undone. Then, I started reaching out to those people that I knew at church and we are all very, very good friends now. My point is this... to have friends, you have to be a friend to those you know and don't be afraid to let your friends know what your thinking and feeling... If your silent, they may just hold back and wait until you decide to open up a bit.

I recently read an article - it was in Parents magazine I believe, and it was about women and friendships. The jist of the message is that when we are young (e.g. teens and early 20's) we have lots of friends, but over time, we weed down our "friends" to a very small number.

I find being a FT working mom with a FT working husband and small kids, it's hard to fit in friend time - mainly due to coordinating schedules and ensuring childcare is covered. I do see that as my kids get older (4 and 1), it is getting easier.

I am in the same boat. My best friend is my wife, of course, but I don't have any "guy" friends - and that suits me just fine. I have plenty of neighbors and co-workers that I have great relationships with, but we've never gone to a game or golf or anything like that. But what I do realize is: if I want friends like that, it's up to me to make the move. Friendship is a two-way street. You give what you get. So I suggest it's up to you to take the initiative and send out the invitation.

It sounds as though you have lots of acquaintances, but not true friends, but that doesn't mean one of these co workers or neighborhood friends can't turn into a really good friend. Creating and maintaining a close relationship does take time and energy, but it is well worth it. Seek a few women out with whom you have common interests and start asking them to get together every so often. That's a way to begin, but it takes time to build a good friendship. When you've been friends with someone for years and you've gone through the good and bad together, you look up one day and realize what a good friend you have, but it doesn't happen over night. It takes time. I have a handful of girlfriends that I've been friends with since high school and my early 20's and we are still close to this day. We've gone through growing up, dating, heartbreak, marriage, pregnancies, babies, infertility, divorce, cancer, losing parents, and about a million other things together and that is what makes us so close. I, also, have a couple of new girlfriends who live close by and while I'm not sure I'll ever share with them what I do with my life long friends, it will be fun to see where we are 20 years from now! Like they say, "If you want a friend, be a friend." Good luck!!

No, you are definitely not silly.

I've gone through periods of my life where I didn't have any close friends, but now I do. I've cultivated those relationships and made sure that I stay in touch, even if my friends are busy. I found those friends through Weight Watcher's message boards. There was a get together for local people and I decided to come out of my shell and go. Five of those gals are my best friends and even though we're all at different stages in our lives, we talk almost every day and get together when we can.

I've finally realized that in order to have the friends that I want, I need to be that kind of friend. I hope that makes sense.

As for your work friends, they either are too wrapped up in their own stuff to notice you've been down or they feel that if you wanted to talk about it, you would. So, invite them to lunch and just talk. Be the one to initiate plans.

Be that friend to others that you want to be.

I feel the same way. I am 31 and I I have my coworker friends and one best friend but she lives in Kansas. I was a tom boy myself. I thought the boys had less drama. I still believe in that today only Im married and it would not be right for me to hang out with other men. It has been a blessing to have my one coworker care enough that she notices when I feel down and asks me to talk. I think part off my reason is I just dont get out. Like have any girl activities (scrapbooking, art, something with other women) I just dont have the time. Work and kids are my life. Sorry I can't give you any advice. I just wanted you to know you are not alone.

Of course it's valid. Nothing to be "concerned" about however, I think it's common enough. Actually usually more common among men, in my experience. I think at your age I was in the same place. But sometimes casual friends are enough. Also, many people don't ask questions, so I wouldn't be surprised about that. In some ways I always got along better with guys too, so I know what you mean. Guys are definitely less drama, but they are also less deep, so things tend to remain kind of "surface" with guys.

Really good friends can be hard to develop, especially the older you get. You either have to have a lot of history with someone, or very common interests/personalities.

Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this, there's nothing to say really, just get to know groups of moms. That way, even if you don't have a "best" friend, you can at least find people to do things with.

Awe! I'll be your friend, I was thinking the same thing not too long ago, as you mentioned I have co-worker friends and family but really I don't have someone to just call and discuss anything or just have fun like a pedicure, a lunch, a movie. I truly understand what you're saying. I live in Irving and have 4 kiddos that keep me busy, maybe that is why I don't have any friends, I'm always too busy running around with my kiddos. My husband works alot, so sometimes I feel like I'm a single mother...horrible feeling. If you ever want to talk, I'm all ears, it would be nice to meet you. Btw, I'm 38, just a tiny bit older..hee,hee, but I consider myself very young spirited. Contact me anytime...friend!

C. yes it's a valid concern. After Highschool our lives develop in warp speed and we lose those once close friends. In our adult lives we have many acquaintenaces and friends but few if even ONE close friend. You need to find someone with a similar interest as you. Where do you live? I'd always love to make a new friend!

I hope you can tell by the number of supportive responses that you have hit on an important topic with women. You are a fulltime working mother, so it has to be impossible to fit "girlfriend" time into your life following work, family, house, etc.....but from what I've read by other posters, you are not the only person in this boat! Honestly, I bet you have a friend or two who would LOVE for you to call and plan to see a movie with, the secret is not waiting for someone to call you and to not give up if the first friend isn't available on short notice. I'm the absolute worst about waiting for someone else to call, and then if the mood isn't right I make excuses..you know what happens then, they stop asking. Also, it's alright if your closest friends are people you know through your husband or children. I have probably the best and most reliable friends in my life today because we have shared values in marraige and children. It amazes me that I've only known one of my friends for 5 years and I trust her like a sister at this point in my life. Other friends I've known for 15 years and we've experienced so much history together it truly makes our bond stronger.
You have to start putting yourself out there more, join a book club or maybe agree with your husband that once a month you will go to a movie with a friend and schedule it with someone, trust me, there is someone else in your life who would love the companionship as much as you would.
Go for it and relax, it'll be easier than you think!

Yes... I feel the same way- except my husband is in the same boat. Neither of us have any real friends. I think the more technology advances our society has, the more shallow our "friendships' will become. However, I think it is a HUGE human need to have friends- close friends. We were made to be social. I have had a friend here or there that was close, but we've never stayed in touch for more than a few years. I believe that everyone longs for that one close friendship, but few ever really achieve it- even some that think they have it, don't really.

Maybe you can find a freind by going and taking some classes- something you enjoy. then you would have something in common. Or you could start attending a church, and maybe a home Bible study. Having someone to do like interests with can build a freindship- but how freindships get deep and true, is when you share the downs of life with someone. My two closest friends were just "freinds" until I was going to go through a divorce. I opened up to these two ladies, and they were my lifeline. They in turn opened up to me with their problems, and the freindship grew.
My husband has had a Christian friend for 6 years. But it just doesn't get deep. This friend keeps things on a very guarded superficial level and doesn't share personal things. That relationship can never get deep with out that.

I think its a valid concern! I do have two 'true friends'. Both are friends I made at earlier stages of my life, and both friendships waned after I moved away ...but, in both cases, we realized after a while that the friendship was really important to us and that we would work to maintain it. That said, I haven't made a good friend since moving to Texas 3.5 years ago. I think sometimes as mothers, it can be hard to make friends because we tend to spend our time with our families. But, it is important and worthwhile to find some time that you can devote to building and maintaining friendships. If you know someone (a coworker or mom-friend) that you think you could be closer to, make the first move! Start calling them up, inviting them out, etc.
Good luck!

I am in a similar situation now that I have moved. I have found it difficult to spark relationships as we get older. I work full time (with mostly men) but I have plenty of opportunities as I take my daughter to classes and I have joined several mom-groups but never follow thru. I agree with many of the posts here: be the friend you want to be. And reach out to someone .. maybe they are in the same situation as you are.

Luckily, i do have very close, long-term friends back 'home', but see them only a few times a year. But, it isn't the same now we are far and find myself wishing for someone similar in my new area.

Best of luck.

Having these relationships is important- you are not being silly! I was like you when i was younger and drifted toward male friendships because, well the guys were way more fun to hang with, no drama! I do have a couple of really great girlfriends now, and I am so grateful for them now that we're older and wiser (Less drama!) I cherish my female friendships, and girls night out!! Let me tell you though, that since I was always friends with the guys, it was pretty weird and unnatural for me to cultivate female friendships- thank goodness my girlfriends were so good at it and taught me the way! I'll tell you some of the things I learned.
1) Make an effort to go wherever you are invited. Overcome any awkardness, fear you don't really know anyone...the more parties/events you go to, the easier it will get, the more friendships you will cultivate, and the more events you will be invited to!
2) Instigate things- ask a co-worker or acquaintance (or 2) to lunch. or coffee....or a movie! Maybe one of them has been feeling like going out to the movies, and would appreciate a movie buddy too. You don't have to be super close right away...time will either evolve that or it won't work and you will ask someone else another time
I am in a good friend's wedding this coming winter. I met her for the first time 5 years ago at my own wedding when one of my guy friends brought her as his date! The guy and I are barely acquantinces anymore, but she and I are really close. She came to my babyshower when we had only met about twice, but I figured okay, why not? I would have never done anything like that myself, but I;m so glad she had the confidence? gumption? whatever to do it. She would invite me to the movies, even though we didn't know each other all that well, but I'm glad she did! ...years later, she THREW a shower for my second baby, and I threw one for hers!
I also joined a book club. It was full of acquaintinces, their acquaintinces, and it has been fun getting to know a whole different set of friends.. strange at first, because I didn't *really* know anyone, but I made myself go, and slowly I have been becoming better friends with some of these girls too.
Put yourself out there, you should be pleasantly surprised what you will get back!

You are not alone, girl!

But don't dwell on the past - it's time to find some women to build some friendships with. Get proactive! Maybe somebody who responded to you regarding this question lives in your area. It's easier if you live in the same area and share some interests in common.

I've moved to different states several times and had to develop new friends as a result. It can be done because there are other people around that also need friends. You just have to find each other! Life changes - and the old friends don't always fit into the new pattern.

For the really close friendships like what you're talking about - that usually takes a little bit of time. You spend time together doing things you have in common and learning to trust each other and slowly cultivate a sense of safety and intimacy. Places I've developed generic friendships: the gym, Lamaze class, neighbors, church, a homeschool group when we homeschooled, a fellow Mom from my child's preschool class, (my sister met people through a quilting class), Boy Scouts, .... you could try a bowling league, or a craft class or just choose one of your coworkers that you especially enjoy and try to develop a deeper relationship. [I would recommend a female - it's too easy to get off track if you choose a male close companion]

The thing is, you have to invest some time and effort into the relationship. You have to spend time with them, get to know them, learn to care about each other, and learn to trust each other. You have to let yourself become vulnerable. If people don't know you well, they may not be able to tell when you're down. That's when the talking and sharing come into place. No one can read another person's mind, but if the two of you have spent a lot of time together and talked a lot, then it's easier to predict what the other person's reaction is going to be because you know each other so well. My guess is that your coworkers didn't know you well enough to realize that you were feeling down. Don't compare yourself to your husband! We're all different! People are made differently! You probably only need a few good friends, not a ton of them, so go out and make some friendships! :)

Hope you let us know how things turn out.

God bless,
A.

No, my ex divorced me and he had his friend and family. I moved 40 miles away, went to a new job and still do not have anyone that is close. I had a girlfriend who moved in with me and she got bossy all the time and moved out mad so she is not my friend anymore. I was supporting her and she was getting her nails done and that did it for me. She could go visit people 60 miles one way every day off but not stay and help clean. I never shoved her out she left and sneaked out. I knew what she was doing because she had used two other of her friends the same way. She had a lot of money and job went downside so then she did not and sold her home and lived with three of us. I never knew how broke she was or I never would have let her come. But it ended our friendship and she was the one who helped me move on from my divorce and an angel from God I believe but entered my life when I was in need but I could not help her as I was strugling.

I have a boyfriend we do things with and that is that. But when my parents were in their 50's decided they had 4 children and no close friends and took up square dancing. My dad died 20 yrs ago and my mom has met two husbands from dancing and now at 82 she has a new husband married last year and they dance up a storm every day. Keeping them in shape. Potlucks all the time, card night they have a lot of fun. Went from sq dancing to round dancing and whatever. They are going on a cruise with a bunch of dancers. They danced in Hi and really a great way to meet people. Good Luck God Bless and hold close to God because he is the real friend when others are not there. G. W

Wow! That is exactly what I was thinking a few weeks ago. My husband and I had a fight so I left driving to no where in particular. I went to pick up my phone to call someone...and realized I had no one to call. Like you, I was a tom boy, had a lot of guy friends, my very closest friends are scattered around the country. I own several businesses and though I'm close to some of them, it's not the type of relationship where you call them up and say something about how horrible you are feeling. But, I'm also not the silent type so I spoke up and said something to several of the people I'm close to...they all said, basically "Call me...I can't believe you didn't call." So my best advice for you is to open up and tell those you feel that you want to get to be better friends with. You may be surprised at their answers.

L.

I am in the same boat you are. I have a lot of just talk to friends, but don't have a best friend. I have what I call a best friend, but she has a lot of those and we aren't really. I am curious to read the other ladies answers. I ahven't ead them yet. I wonder if it's myself that I need to work on more. I think that a lot. Well I have been working hard and we shall see.

Every woman needs friends. It is in our nature to form and nurture relationships. I know it's easier for some women than others, but you need to be the "relationship starter" for a while. Find some friends and make an effort to be the one who puts forth the effort. Over time, it will become mutual, even if not at first.

And, as far as your co-workers, (just like our husbands), they can't read your mind so please don't be disappointed that they haven't. If you are down, find some private time with one (maybe go to lunch together) and tell her, I'd like to talk to you. I feel comfortable around you. Would that be okay? She'll probably be flattered that you consider her a close friend.

I think the secret is: be open and honest. Yes, it opens yourself up to being hurt but if you stay reserved, people will also stay reserved from you. Don't go overboard and reveal TOO much about yourself at the outset, but show people that you trust them and it will be reciprocal.

Good luck to you!

I remember feeling that way too a few years ago. I think it's so important to have good same-gender friends. So important. Finding friends that have the same moral compass as you, can walk with you through life and know your family well is such a blessing this day and age. If you are looking to meet some people in your same life stage... check out www. watermark.org. It's a fantastic, bible-based church with TONS of young families and kids. It's really a great place to start.

Christie, I understand what you are going through. I also lost my work friends since I had my 3 and 2year old boys. I also am without friends, and would like to touch base with someone. I think that I'm going through a sad time, I've been married for 20 years, I am 38 yrs. old and I feel like I'm all alone. My husband told me he doesn't love me anymore, so I nee to make some decisions for me and my boys. I was also a tom boy growing up, and abused by my step dad. I do however have a little drama, but, it is something that noone knows what they are going to go through until they do. My email is ____@____.com number is ###-###-#### if you ever want to talk....I feel for you sweetie...And by the way, this is a valid concern.

No, I think you are trying to tell yourself something and it IS important. Number 1, You are your own best friend...listen to yourself and love yourself and do things for yourself. If you need a good friend (which I think we all do). Go do something you enjoy, your passion and you will meet someone who you will bond with and probably is looking for a good friend too. It could be a yoga class, art class...a class would be a good place to start and be OPEN to getting to know someone. Hope this helps...yes, it is okay to want a true friend. :)

I am in the same boat! Even the friends that I have had since diapers don't talk anymore. I don't work anymore so I don't even have the people I thought were my friends -coworkers. It's mostly my doing though, so I have no one to blame but myself. I lived and breathed work and nothing else for so long, that I lost all my close friends. Now I'm a SAHM with nobody but my family. I am really close to my aunt, but it's not the same as having someone you can tell EVERYTHING to! I don't like candle parties or jewelry parties or pampered chef parties, etc!! So, when I do get invited, I turn them down. :) Anyway, I guess we could be each other's somebody! LOL

Thank you for posting this question...I find myself feeling the way sometimes. My Husband and I have the same problem. You have recieved some good advice here. We also have acqaintences that we see on occassion but we really don't get out much either. I had two close friends (one since 4th grade and one 7th) but life and families separated us years ago. Thanks to FB I have since reconnected with one of them and a couple of others that I have not seen since high school. We have had lunch a couple of times but so much time (and growing up LOL) has passed that it is just not the same anymore. I'ts nice to know that we are not alone.

As a full-time working mom, I used to say about the sacrifices, "The first thing to go is girlfriends, the second is service." My life is different now that I only work part-time. I can volunteer more at school, reach out to others, etc., and that has helped me meet more people. But the best thing I have right now is a running partner. She called me and asked if I was interested. It was probably a stroke of inspiration, because I wasn't running much at the time but wanted to. We have evolved our workouts to swimming, exercise classes, etc., I love the energy that comes from exercise. And I have a great friend that I can call for recipes, emergency child care and just to chat. If you want a friend, I highly recommend an exercise buddy! Tell a few people you know that you want to train for a local 5K, for example, and see if a few of you can come together.

Wow. That story sounds like my life..lol. I'm 32 & a first time Mom to our son who is getting ready to turn 2. I grew up in Dallas and now live in the Frisco/Aubrey area. After high school all of the "close ties" just kind of faded. New friends were made that I thought would last forever till my Husband and I married and quit going to bars. Once I settled down and had my child my social life went out the window.
My Husband however really does have friends that he has known since he was in day care, really! What is that about?!? He has more girlfriends than I ever did in my life. He tells me about whats going on in his friends life, rather it is girl or guy, and asks for my opinion on the girls - but I'm not sure how to answer because most of them are girly girls and I just never was. I was the girl with the scraped up knee's from doing tricks on my bike ramp with the guys..heh. So I feel ya..its rough. I do have my parents that are only an hour away, but I still miss just having a friend to chill with as well.
I've joined Mom groups on meetup.com and tried going to the mall play areas. The meet up groups usually require you to do so many meet ups a month and while I want adult interaction, I don't have that much time. I'm mostly looking for a friend for random dinners with kiddo in tow to blow off steam after work or hang out on weekends at each others house while the kiddos play or just to go grocery shopping with..just regular things that everyone does. I see other Mom's doing it and I just think "humm...surely there has to be a Mom out there that wants a friend to chill with". I love my Husband and he has become my best friend, but it would be kewl to have a friend that does not assume the Al Bundy pose on the couch when watching tv after work. :)

Hi,
I have suffered the same loneliness for many years. Several times I thought I got some close friends but it would never be as close or dear as I would think of a true friend. A couple of years ago, I finally got to know some wonderful neighbors. our children go to school and activities together. We spent some summer vacation together. We do have common hobbies and similar values of life. We are also complementary-I tend to be shy and I am happy to follow the lead of my easy-going friend. Now my friends and I are like sisters.
I would say that the "right" friend is somewhere out there, you might want to keep scanning for her. Just keep your mind and heart open, she might come from a total different background than yours.
Good luck!

Wow you and I are very similar. I've had the exact same issue through out life. In addition to my family and I moving around alot, I just never made life long friends but my husband on the other hand has tons of friends from the age of 4 and we usually argue about my lack of friends. I've been hurt by a lot of women who i thought were my friends so now I just stay away from them as much as possible.

It is a valid concern because as you go through life you want to have a girlfriend or best friend to share your ups and downs with. No one wants to go through life with no one to share all the good and bad with and if your husband is like mine, he doesn't really want to be my catch all person for all my problems.

It's hard to say how to find that one friend because it's still a struggle for me as well. I reach out sometimes but then something will happen and I pull back. Right now all I can suggest is take one day at a time, look at the people you have around you and see who could potentially be that person for you and work on that.

This is a very valid concern..as a mom and a woman we NEED TRUE friends (note the capital letters...), friends that we can tell ANYTHING to, and I mean that with all sincerity - stupid things like how we went to work with one blue shoe and one black and the intimate details of our adult relationships... we need friends in our lives who can grab the kids at the last minute, who can toss you $20 in a pinch (and not blow up your phone asking when they'll get it back..), friends who know you enough to call at the right time and when to give you space. Even if you have a great husband who truly is your best friend, he can't understand what we go through as women (go ahead, ask if he has a tampon in his purse...)...I am so blessed to have friends like that - friends that will take my kids (without being asked) because they know that I need some time off; friends that will listen without judgment and whom I know will not stab me in the back...It seems like your husband has great friends, get to know their wives and girlfriends and before you know it, you'll have a support system of your own...Good luck!!

I think too much pressure is placed on the need for friends. Most people have an instinctive need to be with a group - we have pack animal tendencies. If you want friends because you are lonely and want someone to talk to or hang out with regularly, that's one thing. If that's the case, check out your city guide for activities that interest you. You'll meet people with simiar interests and already have a basis for establishing a friendship. And yes, maintaining a friendship means that you will be a partner in someone else's drama sometimes.
On the other hand, if you are perfectly happy doing things by yourself and enjoy spending time alone, don't feel like you HAVE to make friends because that's what other people do. You might just be a natural loner and there is nothing wrong with that! Don't put pressure on yourself to conform. I wish you the best either way!

Wow I thought I was the only one, except I realized it 20 yrs older than you. I am pretty much a loner & very independent, I guess I really don't need a friend one on one to have. I talk to my husband about a lot of things & he is the same way. But the more I think about it I am so busy with my older kids and we have discussions about certain things, so I am OK.
Best wishes to you & remember, it's OK.