Friend Who Lives with Me Bringing Home Young Boyfriend

That's serious disrespect if you ask me. I would let her know that it is not acceptable. If she wants to have overnight guests, she should get her own place.

I had a similar thing happen. A friend got evicted, and had no where to go. So, I let her stay with me and my then two year old son. One night went out to the bar. My son and I were asleep when she came home, but I woke up in the morning to find some strange guy in my house! She had met some guy in the bar, and brought him back to my house!!! I made it very, very clear that she was not to ever, ever bring ANYONE into my home like that ever again. She didn't, and she quickly found her own place. That is the ONLY reason I still speak to her. Tell your friend to go to his place next time(and if he does still live at home, maybe saying it out loud will make her realize how sad that is). And maybe offer to help her find her own place, quickly. Best of luck to you!

It is something you just need to tell her, flat out, that you cannot allow to happen. This is really something that should have been discussed prior to her moving in, though. Before you talk to her about this problem, I suggest that you spend some serious time thinking about your expectations for this living arrangement. Try to foresee any possible problem that might arrise, and make a list of the issues that you want to avoid. Then, while discussing what happened the other night, take the opportunity to talk about the rest of the rules you hope to enforce. This will hopefully head off future problems, before they become problems.

OK that is totally out of line and me personally would of told her wen she walked in with him is he need's to go first cause you did not gave me enough respect to ask, 2 you are totally disrespecting my house, and 3 tex at 2 am to tell u she is doing it what the hell is she going through a mid life in the 20's crisiss ??

your friend need's to go before she start's to cost problems between you and your huby

I would tell your friend that you are not comfortable with her bringing home men to sleepover. That you would rather she go to their place. You have a family and so does she. This is not something that is safe or responsible in front of the children.

Let her know that something like this should have been discussed with your and your husband and if you are against it then tell her. You are offering your home to help out a friend and her children. I feel this is going over and if it was me I would call her out on it.

I lived with my aunt in minneapolis right out of college, and her rule was. no strangers in my house! Just tell her, that you don't feel comfortable with her bringing strange guys around, you are not sure what they are capable of, and for you safety of you children, she is not allowed to bring people into your home, plain and simple. Althouh she is yoru friends you have to look out for your children.

It is so nice of you to help your friend however you can not do it at the risk of the safety or moral value of your own children. I would tell it that you would like to help her find a new place to live so that she can have some privacy. There are organizations that could help her, depending on why she is homeless. Catholic Social Services I am sure can. PLUS she can call 211 and they will refer her to cheap housing.

Good Luck
R.

It is your house and your rules. It sounds like you are going her a HUGE favor. I wouldn't want any strange men in my house, no matter what the age. Your children could be at risk. Plus, you shouldn't have to worry about waking up and running into some unknown man/boy in the kitchen or bathroom.

WOW I WOULD BE SO MAD I THINK I WOULD HAVE TOLD HER THAT THIS CAN NOT GO ON IN MY HOME AND IF SHE COULD NOT SHOW THAT RESPECT NOT TO BRING PEOPLE IN TO MY HOME SHE SHOULD FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO LIVE ASAP .MAYBE I AM OVER BOARD BUT I AM A MOTHER OF FIVE GIRLS WELL GOOD LUCK

Set boundries. I'd bet they came to your home because he still lives with mom & dad. If they can't go to his place recommend a motel. She isn't doing this in front of her children and has no right doing it in front of yours. I put this in the same category as someone that takes their children to a sitter for the night so they can go out drinking. They are making sure their children are safe but forget about the other children on the road with their families that still may be injuried by their drinking and driving. I'd say she needs to growup and get her life together. She may need to move out to do this and I would advise her of such.

I would just have a talk with her saying that you and your husband are uncomfortable with having peopel that YOU don't know in your house especially when the kids are there. We had this problem with my husbands 2 friends. They both did this and they Slept in the living room not at the same time, different times) and one of the girls they brought back got up with only a VERY short shirt on and my then 4 year old son saw this. That's when we put a stop to it and said no more. If they want to have girls throughut the night, they'll have to go somewhere else. ANd that's what you shoudl tell her. Get a room or go back to his place, but never at your house.

well if you dont lay down some laws things can get out of hand it is hard when there is others living with you this is something you need to think about the dos and donts of the house be kind but furm about how you feel. good luck hun.
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If you don't approve, tell her so. It's your house and she needs to respect anything that you ask of her. First of all, it was inconsiderate of her not to ask you. But since she didn't, let her know how you feel about it. Then set some boundaries. She might be an adult, but she is not living in her own home.

You NEED to tell her she can not do this in your home. You have kids to think about. She can stay at his house,maybe his parents will be ok with it(not even).It is very wrong of her to do this,she really can get a hotel. Just be honest and stay true to what you belive. Your FAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. not her sex life.

Your friend needs to respect your wishes. She is staying in your house with your family. If it hasn't been discussed before you should definitely sit down and discuss it with her. I realize she is an adult but she needs to respect you and your family while she is staying in your house. If she doesn't like the rules then she can find somewhere else to live.

Good Luck

Sounds like she's really not your friend. You need to lay down clear rules and if she violates them, she's out. What's there to negotiate?

Can You say BOUNDERIES. If she is going to continue to stay there you need to set the rules and be honest about it. If you don't it can cost a freindship. Set goals on when she needs to be out and make sure they are clear. This way you both know where to stand. Good Luck M. D

I would say that your "friend" is taking advantage of your generosity. It's time for her to find a new place to stay if she's going to be bringing home 2 a.m. booty calls. That's not an environment your children should be subjected to.

This is a very disrespectful act on your friend's behalf. She should have (at least) waited for your permission. Why can't she see him at his place? If she wants to see him at her own place that badly maybe she should get a place of her own.

We teach our children all about how bad strangers can be and you have one in your house thanks to your so-called friend. She is clearly putting her needs before you and your children. I am sorry but the safety of my children is something I am not willing to gamble with. It's our job to keep them safe and it todays world its getting more and more difficult. You truly know what you need to do and for your kids sake do it.

Your house, your rules. End of story. I would have a talk with your "friend" and let her know that is not at all acceptable and if she doesn't like it, she can take her drama elsewhere, you, your husband and your kids don't need to be exposed to it.

Good luck!

uh yeah...that would not fly in my house.

Tell her straight up. I would ask her if she would bring home a 2am booty-call if she was living with her Mom? She needs to have the same respect for you and your household. You don't know this man, you don't know if he's some sort of mass murderer, burgular, or God Forbid Pedephile. You have a responsibility to protect your family, and if she can't respect you enough to go to a freakin' motel instead of bringing the sleazeball home then she can find somewhere else to live.

I agree with everyone else. This is not safe for you or your children. Who knows who this guys is?? I would call her out on it now before it becomes a habit. Just because she doesn't have her kids that weekend doesn't mean that their aren't still kids in the house.

Ooh man, I feel for ya!! Is her situation temporary (please say yes)? I would feel uncomfortable with anyone bringing overnight guests into my home with my kids period. But then again, I am a major germaphobe (not to mention extremely private). It is a tough situation, but I think you should just tell her to not to bring men home alltogether. If it is a temporary situation, she should keep her focus on getting things together first. Does that sound mean? But really, it is your house and your family, so she needs to accommodate your rules, right? I wouldn't tolerate it. I wouldl explain that you are helping her out but dont feel comfortable with her boyfriend (or whoever- young or old) coming over, esp. sleeping there, for obvious reasons.
Yikes, Good Luck!!

C.