Got a text from an out-of-town friend today. She was hinting at visitng Thursday-Sunday. Normally this would be fine-and-dandy BUT..my family is in town next week staying with us and I was (insert guilt here) kinda looking forward to some downtime before, including a date day with hubby.
I feel bad telling her another weekend would be better as I think her boss told her to take a few days off.
Feel free to tell me I'm a tool.
ETA: FAmily is coming the following week of friend's visit. I just wanted some downtime...
Tell her the truth. If she's a good she'll understand. You can't be all giving.
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
You're not a tool, lol! We all need time to ourselves and there's nothing wrong with telling your friend that! If she gets upset that's her issue, not yours.
I see nothing wrong with telling your friend another weekend would be better.
I think it would be okay to tell her another weekend is better. I mean I get your guilt if you don't see her often and she has some time off, but honestly, if your family is coming the following week, you really do need that weekend to get organized! It would be a lot to change sheets again, etc. before they get there. Plus I'm sure you'll want to shop and do last minute cleaning, so honestly, I think she'll understand.
Just tell her it is not a good time.
She did not ask you first if she can come visit. She is just hinting.
If she needs a few days off, she can still do that... but another way.
Or tell her when a better time is, then she can tell her Boss when she is taking off.
Hinting at it, is not helping. Her or you.
She just needs to come out and ask.
If not, don't assume she is asking you if she can stay at your house.
Tell her you have commitments/visitors already which was planned ahead of time.
Eh, if WE were friends and you told me it's REALLY not the best time, I'd be cool with that. I'd rather have your company when you don't feel obligated towards me, you know?
You are not a tool.
:)
Just let her know that you have family staying with you and unfortunately don't have the room to have her stay and visit the whole time, but you would be happy to get together one of the days for lunch or something.
This Thursday is pretty last minute so your friend should understand that you already have plans for this weekend. Don't feel bad. She should feel more free to invite herself over if she knows you can be honest and tell her when the timing doesn't work for you. Just tell her the truth that your family is in town and that you'd love to see her another weekend.
It's okay to put yourself (and *definitely* your date with hubby!) ahead of friends sometimes. No one needs to know all your reasons for saying "no" every time; in fact, giving too many "reasons," no matter how good they are, starts to sound like giving excuses. A simple "I can't," followed by an alternate date for when you can, lets her know that she is important to you, and you're not just blowing her off, but also allows you to not be a doormat.
Simply say something like, "I'd love to have you come visit! Unfortunately, we can't do it that week. Could we get together _____________ instead?"
Depending on how far away she lives, you could also consider meeting her someplace for a girls' day out, or just for coffee while she's off work, if you're able. If she's having a rough time AND you can afford it, treat her to lunch or something. ;-)
Tell her what you said, but a little edited. "Oh, Jane! I'd love to see you but unfortunately we already made plans with the family who are in town and staying with us. I'm so sorry we can't catch up this time, but I hope you have fun and let's plan something for later in the summer."
Or you can just say, "I'd love to see you, but those days are hard for me. I'm sorry we can't catch up this time..." etc.
Just say "Oh it's so cool you are coming to visit, I wish you could stay here but I have family coming and they are staying here. So you think we can still make some time to get together away from the house so we can really visit?".
You are not saying exactly when they are coming nor are you saying when they are leaving. You are hinting at those things. She probably needs to know as soon as possible so she can make some other arrangements.
I'd tell her that I'd love to see her but my family will be coming to visit in town, so I'm not able to offer a place to stay this weekend. However, if she comes, I'd love to get together for lunch or dinner. If she'd rather come another weekend, she could stay at your house (and then suggest a specific date for her to visit).
