I work with a woman whose 50th birthday is coming up. She has expressed to me in the past that she really does not like anything done for her birthday - she doesn't like the attention on herself. So last year I didn't do anything for her bday and didn't remind anyone in the office about it either. She still brought in a cake for mine and a plant. So I'm struggling now because 50 is a big milestone that I don't think should be passed up, but I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Should I keep it to myself that she's turning 50 (sadly, I don't think anyone in our office would remember) and do nothing, or should I get her something with the 50s theme?? Of course, I'd love to decorate her office, but I'm really thinking that's out of the question.
TIA!
E.
I'd say do something low-key and tasteful. Perhaps a "snack day" where everyone brings in a yummy party snack? Get a card and a nice, pretty office plant for her to enjoy.
You could do something on a personal level -- invite her out to lunch (your treat) or bring her a cool office accessory as a gift. You could also tell the people in your office you're organizing a snack buffet in honor of her birthday, and just have people put the items in the kitchen or break room in the morning, with a sign you make saying "Happy Birthday, Name!" or something similar. Then it's a no pressure situation for her -- people can nibble all day, they will know it's her birthday and can stop in to wish her well, but there's no pressure for her in terms of the awkward office birthday cake singing that might make her feel uncomfortable.
How does she feel about turning 50?
You could get her a box/mug with 50 lollipops in it and on it write "50 sucks"
or
Fill a box with 50 small pretty stones and write on it "50 ROCKS!!!"
and I would get a cake too - at least this once.
You're so thoughtful. I would do the same thing for her that she did for you, but a bit more. Something tasteful. A cake and flowers. Pass around a card the day before and have everyone sign it. Then if others in the office feel like it, they can buy her a gift too. Even people that don't want a big loud colorful display like to be remembered.
Hard to know when people say they do not like attention, but they deserve to be recognized.
May just take her to lunch that day. Let her know you really appreciate her kindness and would be thrilled for her to join you.
I saw a cute idea on Pinterest. It was a Jar that said "50 Sucks".. And it was filled with suckers!
Difficult, some people really don't like to have birthday parties, and I wonder too if she sees the 50 as good one, not that she shouldn't because I think 50 is a great one, but when I turn 30 I was a little down, no sad but like gulp! (if that makes sense).
What about taking her to dinner or lunch with a few of close friends, the ones you know she is friends with.
PS: I agree, either way you go I think is a great gesture from you!
We had few ladies in our office turn 50 in one year. The 1st one we put 50 items of the same thing in her cube. 50 pennies, 50 balloons, 50 pictures of her, and a poster with a happy birthday with "50" fifty's written on it. She loved it! She is a great sport about things. ANother lady we did 50 tissue paper flowers and make her a fake quinsenta dress. Another we made pictures of her face on a "Jane" while tarazan carried her. We also made her jungle vines out of brown paper. (texture of a brown paper bag) Hope you all can do something fun with your co-worker.
I think you can personally do something for her to acknowledge her birthday without broadcasting it to the whole office and bringing attention to her that she does not desire.
How she feels about her aging has nothing to do with how you feel it should be celebrated.
Some people want to mark an important milestone while others feel it is reminding them they are a year closer to retirement (which could be good or bad) or death or they can now sign up with AARP.
I like the idea of you treating her to lunch.
Celebrate in a quiet private way and you'll be respecting her wishes and showing a lot of class/good judgement at the same time.
I just turned 50 a few weeks ago.
It might be bigger than 30, but 30 was a 'trip to Disney World' celebration where as I just didn't want a big to do for my half century mark.
Everyone feels differently about it.
Do a little something. Maybe just a cake, and put the word out around the office. She is 50. It's time to buck it up and allow a little attention on herself.
I would say always acknowledge the birthday. What's the worst thing that could happen? Everyone else enjoy the celebration and eat the cake? It makes for good camaraderie among the group.
Ask her what she wants. Tell her that you don't want this milestone birthday to go unrecognized, unless that is her wish, but that you also know that she doesn't like a lot of attention. That's the best way to make sure she's happy with whatever happens.
I think Mamy and Michelle said it best! I celebrate my birthday all week bc I'm glad to be alive but some ppl aren't like that. Thats what makes the works so beautiful....we are all different and we should respect those differences!
Peace
