He is a single dad and the mother IS involved very much in her life. I asked about letting her cry herself to sleep and he said she will just scream for hours on end and not fall asleep so he won't/can't do that. I am not sure what advice to give him as that is what worked for my two children, and by the way, he has 4 other children and never had this problem either. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated so I can pass it on.
He does give her a cup/bottle(not sure which) at bedtime and it seems as though he has a good schedule. Very puzzling to me.
I thought I should edit this and also add that the mom and dad just split up so that could be a PARTIAL reason but even when they were together there were problems getting her to sleep so I would rather not focus on that as the main issue. (I know it effects children having their parents split up. I watched it happen. But this little girl has had troubles getting to bed PRIOR TO them splitting up.)
Thank you to everyone that responded. I never had this type of problem with getting my two to sleep. I am so happy to have this site because I don't know where I would have turned to help them. Thank you thank you thank you!!!
A bedtime is very important, I never believed and I paid just like your friend. I hear that the routing helps them realize that this then this is going to happen then time for bed. It could be that she is teething or maybe a bit ill. A new milestone is happening. Or he is trying to put her to bed and she is overtired.
Hi H.:
While I understand,that your main goal here is to help your friend resolve a problem,you are asking that we refrain from speaking about the primary issue here. Yes,A one year old,will be effected,when her mother abandons her.Its fine,that she remains to be a (Part) of her life,but the sad fact is that this baby is suffering from her distachment. Your friend should (NOT) allow his baby to cry for any length of time,without going in and rocking or soothing her back to sleep. My gosh,where is the empathy and compassion for this little girl? She misses her mother,and her father doesn't answer hours of her cries. That poor child must feel absolutely (alone)If for merely safty reasons,he should be checking to make sure shes ok. for health reasons,to make sure she is dry.If he is attempting to break her of the bottle at this time,its the worst time possible. She needs that bottle,for suckling...(to feel secure) Your friend is making it even harder for that baby to adjust to her loss,by taking that away now!He needs to make his daughter,feel as loved and safe as he possibly can right now. Before she goes to bed,a warm bath to help relax her,A little oatmeal to help keep her tummy full, a warm bottle,and he needs to hold her a while and rock her and let her know hes there for her,before putting her to bed.If she cries,she just wants to know shes (NOT ALONE)Best of luck to your friend
does he have a bedtime routine that he does every night at the same time. what i do with my daughter who is a year old is at 6p she doesnt play anymore we get her jammies on and her and i go into my room and i calm and relax her down and let her drink her cup. if he doesnt have a routine he follows every night he should try to start one. maybe try to give her something to drink formula or milk whichever shes on. i hope this is helpful to him!
I don't know if this will help, but I have a very intense little girl who had a difficult time going to sleep from about 4mo until 9mo (maybe longer, I don't remember exactly). The only thing that worked for me was The Baby Whisperer- I would try to explain it, but I've tried before and it ends up taking forever and I'm pretty sure I don't get the whole system across right. Tell him to try either the Baby Whisperer or her toddler book. It's a lot more moderate than cry it out and still gets results. My daughter was the same way- the more she cried, the more she kept crying.
Did she ever sleep well? My son is about a year now and always went down easy, but now isn't always so happy.... I read that it's a separation anxiety age, even at night.
