Hi B.,
I am a mother of girls, now 24 and almost 21 and not to forget 3 boys. When my youngest daughter was first born I was very fearful, as I remember the agony of getting the first one to go to sleep. My mom was very helpful with this after watching a program on this very subject. We all have a tendancy to put our children to sleep and not to bed. Now take a minute to digest that. We teach our children everything and we just assume that going to bed is natural. After all we ALL NEED SLEEP. This is how it goes.
When a child is put to sleep versus put to bed, when they awake they are not even sure where they are. Think about the times you have done this very thing. Haven't you ever falling asleep and woke up and not know where you were? Our kids can do the same thing.
What I did was this......
When its bedtime, make sure all the obvious things are taken care of.....dry diaper, belly full, pacifier, comfortable pj's and temp in the bedroom is not to warm.
I would put my daughter in her bed (in those days on her tummy) and rub her back for a minute and let her know, Mommy was there. Then I'd leave the room for 5 minutes. Of course the first night she cried almost immediatly. Then I'd go back in and do only one thing...reassure her that I had not left her! I would do this by touching/rubbing her back and talking softly to her. If her pacifier needed replacing then I would do that as well.....but I WOULD NOT PICK HER UP. Once she was calmer, I would then leave the room again, this time I would add two minutes to the original 5 minutes that we started with. Now I have to tell you, that first night I went in like 4 times. I stood at the door, but never said a word until I had to go in. The next night I had to go in only twice and the third night, once.
I am happy to report that to this day, my youngest daughter is my sleep hound. She has always been able to sleep no matter where she is.
I will share with you a story from when she was about 3 that to this day tickles me when I think of it. We had a normal routine that after lunch was nap time and this day was no different, other than the fact that it was about 45 minutes later than normal and Katie was very tired. After we finished eating I wanted to get some dishes cleanded up and thought that I could do this fairly quickly. Katie was and still is very verbal, so that day she told me how tired she was and that she was ready to go take her nap. I told her "OK sweetie, just as soon as mommy finishes up these dishes I will put you to bed". I did tell her to go and get in the bed and I would be in there in a minute. Well I kept my end of the deal and while I was on my way to the bedroom, I almost tripped over her! She couldn't make it to the bedroom....she was asleep in the floor, in the hallway!
Teach them to go to bed. Dont teach yourself to put them to sleep and the rest will take care of itself!
Hope this helps and my apologies for being so long winded!
D. Whitaker :)