I need some happy stories people! My husband has asked that I participate in the FRG (Family Readiness Group) at our new unit so I'll be going tonight to the first meeting. I'm having a hard time getting amped about it.
In 14 years I have had the opportunity to be involved in a few different organizations as we have moved around and unfortunately the majority of them have not been positive. It seems like most of the spouses in the FRG tend to lean toward catty, petty, gossipy stuff and I have absolutely no desire for that type of drama.
I have a heart for helping the military spouse and the single soldiers. We continually seek out people who have no where to go for holidays & others who just seem like they would enjoy time away from the barracks & invite them over/try to include them in other things. It just seems that when you get the title "FRG" behind it then it turns into highschool again.
Ughhh...ok I know I'm being incredibly negative about this so if you have any positive stories about being involved in an FRG I'd love to hear them. Now I need to slap a smile on my face & get excited about meeting new people!
Thank you all for your responses! It was actually better than I had anticipated :-) The company my husband is in is fairly new so the FRG is extremely small & is just getting started. I spoke with the leader last night & she is adamant about making it a positive environment as she has had issues in past FRGs (false notification etc…) I am hoping and praying that this can be a positive and welcoming environment for all of the spouses, regardless of the rank of the soldier.
Suzanne W.: They do still have sponsors & maybe that will be a good way to reach out.
Iloveoreos: I agree that the negative stuff can happen in any group & I’ve seen it in a number of different scenarios. Thanks for the positive input…it gives me hope!
Chriss L: Thank you for your kind words. From talking to the leader last night I realize that she has felt exactly what I’ve been feeling! I pray we can keep the focus on being helpful & a source of support.
Christy Lee: That has always been one of my biggest pet peeves; while I served myself & now with my husband serving. I actually can’t stand the window/bumper stickers that say, “The hardest job in the Army is being an Army wife.” BLAH!! We always say, “Army wife isn’t an MOS!!!”
Jen C.: Thanks for the wish of luck! It wasn’t so bad :-)
I've been in the Army for over 9 years and have only known the FRG to be a bunch of spouses who like to think that their husband's rank is their own.
They forget that they are all civilians and do not have ANY rank.
If you can make a positive change, go for it. But you can probably affect more change, really, by staying far away from them and continuing to reach out in the way you have been.
Oh, I am sorry that experiences in FRG's have been negative for others. I have been married for 19 years (all 19 as an Army wife since my husband was already in when we married) and have been involved in the FRG for all of that time - have served as the leader and co-leader for some of them. Basically, for all of our moves (up until our most recent one), other Army wives were the first friends I made at a new place.
In my opinion, catty, petty, gossipy stuff happens in all groups whether it be at work, church, FRG, sports, etc. You just have to find the spouses you click with and the others will be merely acquaintances that you see at meetings.
I have known wives that certainly did feel entitled due to their husband's rank; however, over the years, some of my closest friends have included enlisted wives, warrant officer wives, all the way up to LTC and COL wives. The rank makes no difference to a lot of us.
Please, go with a positive attitude. Your smile might be just what another shy, new spouse needs.
Good luck!
Just go and be yourself. If you have any kind of hobbies perhaps you can connect with them.
Keep doing the individual thing if need be by having a single soldier over for the holidays or the weekends.
It is hard to have friends while being married to an active duty member. Just look at all the places you live as chapters in a book. Every time you move you get a new chance to start over and do something good for someone.
As far as the FRG (or spouses/wives groups) many are as you described. A few are not. The groups are different stateside verses overseas. Not too many wear the rank overseas as we all need one another to get by.
Welcome to Fort Carson I presume since you have Colorado Springs as your home. My son was stationed there and now has a home in the area.
Enjoy your stay and the scenic beauty.
The other S.
PS Do they still do sponsors to new posts? Perhaps you can help out a new person this way and get to know them when they first come to post.
I wish I could help, but I agree with you. We are 13 years in and I have yet to find a spouse's group that is not cliquish and catty. Good luck!
First of all, thank you and your husband for your service.
I am not in the military, nor is my husband.
I wonder though if there are others who attend the FRG meetings that feel the same way you do. Perhaps you can attend meetings to meet those people, and cultivate relationships with them. If enough of you can get together, maybe you can turn the focus of the FRG around to something less "high school drama".
