Four Year Old Doesn't Sleep Through the Night

My son went through a bit of this around 4 as well. He was never a good sleeper. I didn't want to make it some dramatic, scary thing for him, but I really need my bed and sleep back!! We went through every night light and table lamp to help him be more comfortable. Nothing seemed to work. He liked having his overhead light on, dimmed. The problem was that for some reason the switch would slide up over night and make him room bright. And on the rare occasion he did sleep through the night, he was still cranky. I think the lights interfered too much with his sleep. A lava lamp helped us a great deal. It seems to light up his room well enough to make him comfortable and less afraid, but it's dim enough that he sleeps well. And nights when he "can't sleep" we tell him to watch the bubbles. We hung a flashlight by the door and he used that for the restroom and to get to our room.

We changed the routine a bit. I no longer stayed with him while he fell asleep. I tucked him in and left. I often told him if he stayed in bed, I'd come back in and check on him. Which I did IF he stayed in bed. But it was short and sweet. A kiss, a pat and I left. Then we talked about how he had to start staying in his own room at night. That it was ok to be awake, but he had to learn to stay in bed. We talked about it for two or three days. Then the next night, I told him he needed to stay in his bed. Of course he came into our room. I let him climb into our bed with the warning of five minutes of cuddles. (Don't doze off...or this doesn't work ;). After five minutes it was time for his bed. The first three nights, there was a bit of crying and some hysterics. And I did the same technique of telling him I'd come back if he stayed in bed. Most of the time he'd be out by the time I came back. We just kept weaning from there. After we could get him back in his bed with out the tears, then the cuddle time went down to three minutes and seeing if he could get in bed without me walking him there. Then it was a quick cuddle and back to bed. Now he rarely wakes us up. If he does get us up, there is usually a valid reason.

you have to force her to stay in her room. Be prepared for 3 nights at least of ZERO sleep. She knows you'll give in and let her come out and she'll be doing this FOREVER if you don't nip it in the bud now. If she comes out...tell her she needs to go back...no acceptions.

Is she scared of the dark? Leave a light on for her all night if it makes her feel better. Get her a night light or even one of those glow in the dark animals.
Good luck!

IMHO you are going to have to get tough. Put her in her bed, if she gets up put her back in it. If she comes to your bed, say "no" and tell her that big girls sleep in their own bed and put her right back in it. It's going to be tough for a few days but she'll get the point and finally give up when she realizes you aren't going to give.

We went through this with our son. It began when he started having bad dreams and then became a habit of him waking up and just wanting to cuddle with me and go back to sleep in our bed. We stopped letting him come into our bed and would just walk him back to his own, eventually I'd just give him a big hug and then send him back to bed on his own.... and because he wasn't really scared it wasn't a fight. He grew out of it.

My son wouldn't stay on the floor next to our bed. He needed to be touching me... so I think the fact that your daughter will come in and sleep next to you without disturbing your is a really good thing. Kids do go through a period of separation anxiety at around this age, so she might be feeling a bit insecure and just needs to be close.

I like the suggestions about the lava lamps and flashlights... I've never been a fan of making kids stay in their beds by locking doors or putting up barriers. I feel like it increases anxiety about something that it already a fear, but that's just my opinion and maybe it works for some people.

Good luck!

put the baby gate in her room, leave the door open.

Take her to the store/build a bear and let her choose a bed time buddy that will "protect" her at night. You can get those that play lullabies and talk, press the hands and feet. Give her her blankie and tell her a soothing bed time story.

Remind her she is your big girl and you love her. Get one of those cute night lights that projects a picture on the roof. Maybe a fairy or a princess or bears or my little pony - whatever she is in to. Look at Target or bed bath and beyond. They are about $8. Or get the nightlight from homedics that projects moon/stars (movie) on the roof, it also has a bird/jungle theme and an underwater adventure theme with fish. You can set the timer or leave it on all night. It also plays nature sounds or soft music (rock-a-bye, twinkle little star, and one other i forget the name.) ITs around $19.

Move her bed away from the window, not facing a closet door. doors can be scary when you are little. (monsters etc.)

Put soft music on in the background, maybe classical or baby lullabies.

Keep reminding her you are right outside the door watching over her and she has her bed time buddy to keep her safe. Tell her that her blankie is like an invisible cloak and will keep the bad dreams away.

Good luck mama. Maybe she needs a new theme to her bedroom. Are the bears or pictures on the walls scaring her? Paint it soft pink and remove stick on pictures. You can do a ballet theme or one of her favorite characters. Keep it dreamy... if it is too bright and active she might be staring at ELMO instead of sleeping. And then her imagination can get a hold of her.. and it can get scary.