Four and a Half Year Old - Not Telling the Truth/sneaky

My daughter went through the two.. and now she just turned 3. She is doing that but she has an active imagination. I don't and am not a helicoptor parent with my daughter holding her hand at every step because how is she going to learn the consequences. Cause and affect. Don't make such a big deal they're still kids. Let them be kids... but be kids. In my meaning let them experiment cause and affect. You are going to have to show them yes words mean and they have weight. With children yes they sponge so much vocabulary and so much memory. Kids don't lie when they are young.. You model it and you ask questions. As young as you think they should know things they do and they don't know. Imagination..reality and not reality. You model and teach them. Teach them lies and truth. Common they're only human. How much of life experience does a three or four or even a five year old have...(age and so on.)??? NOT very much. Unlike us we have like 20 to maybe 30 or 40 years and we are grown ups with little people to take care of. That's the joy in life. Teaching, modeling, living another childhood maybe. Start teaching them that. We and our children are only human with things to learn even when we think we are not learning. KIM H GAVE GOOD ADVICE TOO. The mom for 40 years gave some good advice.. actually you receiived quite a bit. I liked their responses. Or the ones I have read.

I'm also a mother of 2 girls in Seattle (4 1/2 & 2)....I have been going through the same thing. I can completely relate! I'm no expert, but I'm finding it best to call her bluff when it's something important - I pick my battles wisely. I also have made it a point to try and ask the question differently when she gives me an incorrect response - if she says she washed her hands but I know she didn't..then I rephrase and say, you need to wash your hands or you won't get to watch (TV program) after dinner...she's usually up and in the bathroom before I finish my statement. Kids will be kids and will try and get away with what they think they can - it's more important for them to know what the important things are, like respectful behavior etc. I do let her know that it's not nice to lie, and she understands this. Sometimes when she tells me a white lie...I get down to her level and ask her, "You just told me a lie...how would it make you feel if Mommy lied to you?" She's very sensitive and gets it. Hope this helps.

Hi - My son is about 4 1/2 and he is doing the same thing. I will ask him if he washed his hands after going potty and he will tell me yes sometimes when I know that he didn't. I always tell him that he should not lie, that he should always tell the truth and we will also give time-outs if he lies to us as well..
I sure hope that it is a stage they go through!

I honestly don't know when the right time to address the situation, but I didn't press too much when I caught him in little lies like that at 4. But now he is 6 and I have a terrible time trying to teach him not to lie. I feel that if I had been stronger about it when he was younger I may not have had the problem now. And he is definitely harder to influence now.

Hello, this is so typical of the age, our oldest grandson told Whoppers right thru 1st grade. We talked a good deal about the difference between the truth and fibs, white lies, bad lies, etc. If I was pretty sure I was hearing a tall tale, I would ask, "is this a whopper?" he would giggle and say yes. His lies were mostly fantasies, but often of the variety you speak of as well.
His little brain is excellent and he gradually got the concept, as he got older the more complex aspects became clearer. At that point we introduced the idea of respecting the audience by not straining their credulity. Also it is not right to lie to Mommy, Daddy, the Grands or the Teacher about the things we should or should not have done. Growing minds grow into deeper reasoning.

Your little one knows she is doing the wrong thing, her behavior shows it. She is testing and I'll bet she knows you know it.
At this age the most important thing, I believe, is the dialog you have about truths, large and small. Repetition, ad infinitum, also helps!

Cheryl in Kenmore, Mom for 40 years, Grandma of 5 for 11 years