For All the Stay at Home Moms...

I am not a stay at home mom, but I think this question can be posted to all moms. As a working mom, I am still responsible for cooking (and yes close to gourmet as possible), keeping the house clean (though I have someone that comes once a week to clean, but doesn't seem to be enough), spending quality time with my son, and we do watch TV at nights before bed time for about an hour or so. I also do the grocery and other shopping for the house, do the bills, and am the main caretaker for my son when not working. Now don't get me wrong, I have a very helpful husband that helps whenever possible, but his work schedule is erratic and most of the stuff seems to fall on me since I am there more. We both work full time, so what i have found to be very helpful in my struggle to not pass out before the end of the day is routine!!! I have also though about what I would do if I were a stay at home mom, and I think I would schedule cleaning days. Something like 2 morning a week would be cleaning time so I don't have to worry about the major cleaning all week long. I think organization is the key for me and has been keeping my sanity. Of course I have never been a stay at home mom, so my ideas about this are just a thought. I do know whenever I am home, like weekends or vacations, I seem to have a lot more work than on the days I am working. On those days off, I really only concentrate on spending time with my husband and son and other family members, so we are always off to doing something outside or an event or something that we all enjoy. good luck to you.

My home is not always spotless, but I try hard because it is a new home. Today my 2 year oild intentionally spilled o.j. all over my white ottoman for the 2nd time in 2 weeks, exactly 2 months after having it professionally cleaned.

We had McDonalds tonight. I do cook regularly but often i say WTH and don't. Gourmet? No. I like real food.

I spend my day trying to catch a break from the kids. I am in constant search of an uninterrupted "lunch break." But I do sit at the table with them during meals, I do sit with them individually while doing homework, I do read to them individually at night and engage in conversation. But I don't really play or do the craft thing. That's not me.

I'd let my kids watch TV all day long...only if they would, but they don't unless they are not feeling well. I certainly do give them time to wind down with TV after school or dinner, but if it gets too much I do insist on it being turned off.

No one can do it all. That is ridiculous. Just enjoy your family, involve your kids in what needs to be done, and remember no one is perfect...even when they appear to be!

C.,

Don't beat yourself up I was a stay at home mom until my kids went to high school. I ran a small home business to make extra money. There were days when I didn't get the chance to shower until my husband came home. Then I realized this is a job, I may not get paid but this is a full-time job. So in order to get things done this is what I did. I got up before they did and showered, I made dinner while they napped. YES I let them watch tv, otherwise I would have gone crazy all day (and I am not ashamed to say so) I would put in a disney movie and that would give me some time to get some things done. Do not let people judge you, staying home with your kids is the hardest, yet most rewarding job you will do. If you have to sometimes do the things you swore you would never do just do it. I played with my kids but I did not sit with them for hours. When I needed to talk with a friend on the phone uninterupted I gave them a cookie to eat. If that makes me a bad mom then I am guilty. My kids are now 24 and 19 and we are very close, I know I was not always perfect (somedays even cranky) but they were with me everyday, and I did the best I could. Just enjoy your kids, the dishes will always be there, dinner is only a phone call away if you run out of time. You may just need to try to organize a bit and realize that this is a job, one good thing is you can't get fired!!!

Good luck!!!
D.

Hi C.
Although I am currently working two jobs, I thought I could offer some feedback because my husband is a stay-at-home dad. Our daughter is 9 months old.
I just had a conversation with my husband last night re: how he was feeling drained every day from trying to get everything accomplished, and I was telling him stop stressing yourself! Our apartment is never spotless, and I know he cleans it from top to bottom at least twice per week, as well as small daily cleaning (he used to work maintenance, so he knows all the angles). The nights I work till 10pm (3 times per week) he makes dinner, but we stick to the basics - steak and rice, hamburgers, etc. On saturday or sunday, when we're both home, I might make a pot roast or something that takes a bit longer. the other two nights during the week when I get home around 8 or so, I might make some chicken breasts or something that is of "set it, and forget it" mode:)
Laundry is always my job, and it generally takes place once a week on a morning when I don't have to be at work until around 12 or so.
Now that our daughter is moving around on her own and sleeping less, she REALLY requires a ton of one-on-one (as Im sure your child does as well). It's so much more important than a tidy home or a made-bed, and as long as you're on the top of your game for that, who really needs to make a bed that will only be slept in again later:) My husband really spends a lot of time with her playing, on the swings at the playground, etc., and though he does it happily, I know he also appreciates VERY much the days I am home so we can share the duty. Once she gets a little older, I know she will be able to be playing more independently, which honestly I think both he and I are anxiously awaiting.
With regard to the TV, our daughter is still too small to be into it, but I guarantee you by the time she's two, she'll be watching Wonder Pets or Dora or whatever is out at the time. I can tell by how our electric bill has dropped, though, that my husband really isn't able to watch it during the day (which is something we always enjoyed) just because he is being run ragged by the baby.
To sum up, the bottom line is that there is NEVER enough time in the day to get things accomplished, but as long as no one starves and the house isnt overrun by vermin (haha), things are moving in the right direction! That's my attitude at least:)
Take care
A.