Flowers and Candy?

I would put computer in a more public part of the house. Disconnect the internet unless you can see what he is doing. He is too young for such things but now that he has been exposed to it you need to sit him down and tell him its not apporiate for him

Have you told him how you feel about this? Men are not mind-readers. You really have to spell it out and say what you want them to do. For instance:

You: "Valentine's Day is coming up on February 14. You know what I would really like? I would love it if you would send flowers or bring me chocolate. Some of the other ladies at work get things like that and I get jealous, because I LOVE candy and chocolate!"

Hubby: "Huh. Really?"

You: "Yep! I loooove roses! And Godiva!"

See? Easy! Just keep doing that for everything you want him to do. Keep at it, because sometimes it takes a while for men to catch on. ;)

for some men changing the oil in your car and checking the air in the tires is as romantic as it gets. it's how they say 'i adore you, i want you, you are my life.'
and when the pedal hits the metal, i want a man who is genuinely looking out for my welfare even more than a romantic gallant.
if you don't have either, then i don't see much to get excited about.
good luck, hon.
khairete
S.

Is he a good family man? Do you love him? Even though he isn't a flower/candy giver, do you feel confident he loves you? If yes to these questions, you are a lucky woman. I too used to get sad around some of the mushy holidays because my husband just wasn't raised that way. One day I did tell him though that he had lived with me longer than he had lived with his own parents so he couldn't use that excuse EVER again! He never did either (yea!). Too many husbands that lavish gifts on their wives end up as game players and it was just for show all the time. On the taking out the trash ... I think we women actually take it out more than the men. Don't waste one second getting upset about that, you can have it to the trash and be back in the kitchen in less time than your bad mood will last. If you tie it up and he's walking past, ask if he can take it out and put it in his hand. This usually works but otherwise they'll just not see it filling up and needing to go out. I have a really hard working husband who loves me and the kids. I consider that alone a gift and I'll let the others have their jewely and candy on those random holidays. I hope you can feel the same way and if you want something, go buy it and enjoy it just as much as if he had gotten it for you. Make dinner plans for you and him whenever you want but don't make it sound like it's because HE didn't do it beforehand or it's a planned date .. just something you thought the two of you might enjoy. No matter what a man's age, they are still learning and need to be molded/trained each day.

I have zero expectation of my husband when it comes to "spontaneous romance" b/c that's simply not "who" he is. We joke about it b/c I knew that when I married him. He doesn't buy flowers b/c they are expensive and they die (he's actually right but it took me a while to understand that). We stopped exchanging gifts several years ago, but our first Christmas together he gave me all-weather car mats- seriously. I had just bought my first car and he knew I needed them. No jewelry, no nighties, nope... car mats.

Having said that... I don't expect him to be anyone other than who he is. He shows me that he loves me in so many other ways that flowers seem a little cliche.

We all feel like we give more than we receive, but if you talk to your husband he likely feels the same way. He probably thinks that he works all day to provide and all he gets in return is his wife giving him a hard time about taking out the trash!

If you want to go out to dinner, pick up the phone and make the reservations. Don't ever rely on someone else to make you happy- that's a lot of pressure to put on another person and it's not a fair expectation. Your spouse can add to your happiness, but should never be the source of it. If he is your happiness gage, you are setting yourself up for a very long life.

My husband is not a hopeless romantic...and I also knew that when I married him. I think sometimes we can get caught up in movies that show these type of men. Not to say there aren't any men out there like this. But when you get to the nitty gritty, most men live day by day and aren't spontaneously romantic. I can't remember the last date night we went on, with just the two of us. It's not like he's against this, we just get caught up in life. I never receive cards from my husband and the times that I have, I can count on one hand. Its just not his thing and at first I felt like I was left out of some kind of club, but I know its just my husband. He does buy me gifts, although not all the time, but when he does, they are very thoughtful.
Oh and we argue about household duties all the time.....but such is life. Right?

But back to you, if your unhappy, you need to fix it. Why don't you schedule the date night. And then take that time to openly voice how your feeling. But also lower your expectations, if he's never been a flower & chocolate guy you can't really expect him to pick right up with that kind of behavior.

When your hubby is calm, has had his dinner etc.--basically in a good mood, bring it up to him and say that you have some things you need to tell him and you would like him to listen only, not respond. Tell him you really would like to be "courted" wined and dined etc. the flowers, romantic dates etc. ask him to think about it and plan something out for you two at the end of the week. Unless you tell him what you want, he won't really know--he can only guess. Best wishes!
M

you gotta keep it short and simple with guys. sometimes they hate it when you spell it out but you gotta or they don't know what you want. a lot of men are not good at thinking of how things make us feel. my husband is a nice good man but even when i do spell it out he fails lol. like "all i would like for valentines day is a card in the morning." needless to say he did not have a card in the morning after i had everthing nice and such for breakfast...we got in a fight and now he knows what i need to feel special a simple stupid card. so dont be too discouraged if you do tell him straight up what you want men have a small attention span! lol. good luck they don't mean to be thoughtless they just are sometimes.