Five Yr Old Can't Fall Asleep

Updated on January 31, 2011
R.C. asks from Oak Brook, IL
13 answers

My five yr old son never had any issues falling asleep until now. I will put him down at 8pm and he will stay up till almost 10pm saying there are monsters in his room --he will get really worked up and cry. He tells me every time he closes his eyes he see monsters,bugs ect ...any ideas of what i can do ? Should i be firm with him or stay in the room ? Or would this make it worse?

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M.L.

answers from Denver on

Does he still take a nap? We had issues when my daughter was transitioning out of hers. She'd be wide awake at bedtime (8pm) and come up with all sorts of things to "keep her awake". The fact was that she wasn't tired. now that she doesn't take naps, she's out in about 2 minutes...

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

The thing that have worked for me in the past is reading a silly story to him everynight before he goes to bed. Like this one Sesame Street book, The Monster at the End of This Book with Grover. You could also do a "bug and monster search" as a nightly thing. Praying with the kids also works too.Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful
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N.R.

answers from Denver on

Melatonin - recommended by our pediatrician has been the saving grace in our family. Many kids don't develop the sufficient levels they need when young and the natural organic melatonin has helped them fall asleep - it's been a lifesaver! Ask your pediatrician about it.

4 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

My kids respond to a bedtime routine. They look forward to it and if I skip a step or get them out of order, they correct me. If I do the routine then they go right to sleep. Part of the routine is me ridding the room of monsters. I have to tell the monsters and bugs it's time to go outside after storytime so the kids can sleep. I say it authoritaively in my mom voice and the kids believe the monsters behave for me. SOmetimes they go to the backdoor and hold it openn for the monsters and say goodnight playfully to them. Night night meannie monster, I can't play anymore today, see you tomorrow. Or my 3 yr old will stand at the closed window and yell shhooo fly shoo to get all the bugs out. If your little guy is having anxiety, add soothing things to your bedtime routine... a warm bath, reading a story, a glass of water, and calming music, maybe a backrub. My kids love when I rub lotion on them after bath. Maybe he could have a big kid equivelant of a glow worm or even a small flashlight and a favorite book to sleep with. I know my son feels more in control when his bed is made just right with his "snuggies" (stuffed animals) and a certain Thomas the Train blanket.
I'm seeing these answers for Melatonin and I love it for me, but I caution you to take it your self before you give it to your kids. My husband swears it gives him terrible nightmares and it knocks me all the way out. Hard! I'm groggy the next morning and hard to wake up. I love it for me, but I would have pause before giving it to my kids.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Although my kid is a lights-out, close the door kind of kid, we did go through a very brief "monster & scary shadow phase" at around 5. Have you tried Monster Spray? You can make it yourself, you know! And you can leave the spray bottle with him right beside his bed. Might be worth a try....good luck.
Have you ever tried a story CD for him to listen to as he falls asleep?

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter's pediatrician just recommended Melatonin for my 12 year old. She has had sleep issues for years. She started taking it about 2 weeks ago and it works! You can find it in the vitamin section. Check with your child's pediatrician though maybe his bedtime is too early now that he is getting older.

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R.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My husband has taken many a monster for a drive- taken them out of the room and take them back where they belong- We actually had to take a door off the hinges and take it out of the house- drive it around and bring it back monster free. My kids never fell for the Monster spray although it worked with my nephew. All kids go through this phase do your best to make him feel safe

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Okay, at this age, they DO still have night time fears. Of the dark, of monsters etc. And they do have nightmares too.
My daughter did and my son.
And her friends too.
And I did too, when I was that age.

It is developmental.
Their imaginations, cannot just be extinguished.
Thus, I do not believe they can/should be reprimanded for this.
He can't turn off, his mind/imagination.

For us, we just talk with our kids. They have a flashlight.
They can have whatever loveys they want to go to bed.
My Husband, takes them outside to show them it is the wind etc, that makes noise outside and the leaves blowing. And that it is safe.
We tell them we were like that too, as kids. And it is normal etc.

If your son is in school, sometimes too what other kids say, tweaks them, and at night. Making them scared. This happened to my Daughter. There were a few kids who would talk about scary things just to make other kids scared. And my daughter did get scared. So I told her, just ignore those kids, they are not nice. They are trying to make others scared. It was so obvious, that even her Teacher, had a talk with the ENTIRE class... about it. Because, it was not nice, and the other kids were getting scared.
So these things happens, too.

It is normal.
Even when I was older, I was scared at night too.
Childhood.

There is also something, by the brand "Animal Parade" that makes vitamins for kids. They have something called "Warm Milk"... that helps to calm a child, for sleep. It is not a 'tranquilizer' thing, but a milk based supplement. It is natural. Any Whole Foods or even Amazon or natural food store has it.
You can see it on Amazon and read the reviews of it there.

But I say, this is just a normal age related phase.
Nothing to get medicated about or worried.
Just assure him. Soothe him.
My daughter... she is 8. And she still sometimes gets scared at night... just about stuff at nighttime... the noise outside, shadows in the moonlight hitting the walls, noises inside the house etc.

all the best,
Susan

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T.C.

answers from Provo on

I don't know if you're religious but you can tell him to pray and ask God to help him not be scared, and to help him sleep good and have happy dreams!

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R.L.

answers from Denver on

Hi R.,

Know that this is 100% common behavior and fear among children of that age, give or take a few months. Thus do not have any worries, but know that it can last for a few months. It has to do with the development of the imagination, but I apologize for I am not sure.
Just know that you are not alone, as this is relatively normal. But it will pass eventually. So no do sleep in his room, keep a normal schedule. You may have to awake alot to tell that mean monster that he is not welcome in your child's room or in the house and to go away. And eventually it will!

Ps. my monster was in the closet, while my best friend's was under the bed!

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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I have just started using a product by Hylands called Calms 4 Kids.

It does not have melatonin in it (I debated trying melatonin...I use it occasionally myself but there was just too much disagreement on its safety in children under 10 or 12 years old).

My 6 year old son has been having some of the same issues and been staying up two to three hours past bedtime trying to fall asleep. He is in school and has been a zombie in the mornings (crying/temper tantrums/limp noodle while I physically dress him) horrible horrible mornings. And his teacher has even called to see what is going on as he is falling asleep in class.

I started a very consistent bedtime routine...moved bedtime up a whole hour so even if he needed some time to unwind he could do so before sleep. Nothing worked until I found the Calms 4 Kids...you can give them a dose every 15 minutes until they are asleep, up to 8 doses. My son so far has only needed two doses and he is out. I have used it the past two nights. This morning he woke up on his own, on time and was happy and ready to go for the day. Yea!!

Good luck!! I hate the scary monsters and bad thoughts...oh we also cut out any tv programs that had any scary content whatsoever...

L.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

Reading this, my questions would be....
does he still nap? If so, it's probably time to cut that nap out. My son stays awake much longer at night if he naps during the day.

does he watch TV or movies? esp before bed? You should limit what he watches during the day and not let him watch anything at night before bed. We know some kids who watch TV before bed instead of reading a bedtime story and they do not sleep well. It is proven that kids who watch TV at night get more wound up because of it, rather than calming winding down. Also look at the types of programs he may be watching. Are they at all scary or could they become so in his mind? Some kids are much more sensative to this than others. Talk to him about it. What is he thinking about at night when he is scared? Can you link it to anything he has seen or heard? Where is the idea coming from? Talk about things...what is real, what is imaginary. Could the thing he is scared of even be possible? Help him rationalize (as much as a 5yo can). Use a night light if that helps. Does he sleep with a favorite blanket or stuffed animal? Put a monitor in there if it helps him. Explain that the monitor will help you hear him if he needs you...and you will come in if he needs you. (watch this so that it doesn't become a control issue)

I don't even know if these are the causes or if it would help, but this is where I would start. Good luck!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We went with the good monsters approach. We have monsters that live in the closet - they come out when we are out of the house or asleep and protect us. Worked way better than trying to convince DS they weren't there. Might be worth a try.

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