Five Year Olds?

I have three kids whom are the same way. My 5 yr old will push me right to the edge. If you find out something that works for you PLEASE let me know too. I have tried time outs , taking away something special. Doesnt matter he still does it.

L.~ what you are going through is what I am going through. My daughter will be six in July. She will not listen to me or her father for the life of her. Every time I tell her to do something she either wines about it or just ignores us. She is driving me nuts. Like she will ask me a question and I say no she will start yelling and screaming and says that I don't love her. So yes this is normal. We also have a two year old boy and he just makes it worse sometimes. I guess this is just a phase we all have to go through. Good luck!

YAY Five year olds!! Aren't they great? Beautifully creative, hilarious when they try to tell a joke and amazing what they comprehend. Tricks I've used to handle my fabulous five year old:

1. What is she doing when you're telling her to do something 10 times? right in the middle of playing? Sometimes it's hard for kids to switch gears as easily as we do. Let your daughter know when the timer goes off it's time to do (whatever you wanted her to do) Even if you set the timer for 30 or 60 seconds, she's got in the back of her brain she has to do something else soon.
Sometimes they get lost in their play. Try what we call "face-to-face". We don't yell all over the house when one of us needs one. We go directly to the person and ask them. Perhaps she needs a touch on the shoulder so she knows you're talking to her and not her sister.
2. Before your phone call, tell your daughter you are going to be on the phone so she's on her own for a few minutes and to let you know NOW if she needs anything. Tell her what kind of behaviour you expect from her and have her repeat it back to you. (raise her hand if she really needs something, read her book, play mime...).
3. She will get dirty. Plan bathing time into your schedule when you have someplace to go. Encourage the dirtyness! Embrace it! She's not getting dirty just to annoy you. Shes baking pies, creating castles and expanding her imagination. (we have a kiddy pool filled with sand that we get wet. oh yah...wet dirty sand.) I keep a bathrobe or towel by the back door. The kids step in on the special rug, strip and head to the tub. I shake out their close and shoes outside. If it's hot out, do what your dad always threatened and hose them off out in the yard ;)
4. She will drive you nuts. If you start to really lose it, tell your daughter that YOU need a time out and go to a different room. She will be impressed. After some deep breathing and gaining perspective that she's only FIVE. You can do it.

you didn't mention whining, but just in case, my favorite trick is to immitate exactly what they're doing. ALWAYS turns whining into giggling. Then you can ask them to ask you in a different voice. :) Good luck and enjoy your sweeties! pretty soon they'll be off to college.

Hi L.,

Oh my gosh, we are having similar problems w/ our 5 yr old daughter! It is almost as if she had an immediate personality change at her 5yr bday. She never really acted out and we didn't have many problems w/ her. Now, she is super emotional ( we are revisting tantrums!), sassy, intentionally disobedient, etc, etc. I also have a 2 1/2 yr old, and he is starting to pick up on some of the behavior. We have started to do behavior charts w/ her and it works sometimes. Other times, she doesn't care if she gets the reward or not. We are trying to think of other ways to reinforce her good behavior, while trying to deal w/ her bad behavior. Let me know if you have any ideas that seem to work w/ your daughter. It must be a 5 yr old thing!

Sounds normal. My ten year old still can't get a grasp on not being rude while I'm on the phone. She also gets quite dirty playing, my husband and I keep a couple outfits in our closet (clean shoes too) so when we go out we know she always has something clean and presentable. Good luck and enjoy them.

OMG!! And here I thought I was the only one in this position. My 5yr old ist just like this. Sassy as the day is long, gets into trouble when she knows shes not supposed do be doing it. The whole getting dirty outside thing...right there with you. My daughter refuses to leave the trees, flowers and branches alone. And the dirt!! Dont even get me started!!! Time outs dont work anymore..she is just too old for them. We have resorted to flat out right grounding her to her room. She is to stay on her bed until we say she can get down. Depending on what she did wrong will depend on how long she has to be grounded. So far it seems to be working but, she throws a huge temper tantrum for the first 5-10 minutes she is in there. If anyone has any better ideas please let us all know!!!

I have a soon to be five year old son, who is exactly like your daughter. This sometime works but I have ran out of ideas, I take away his favorite toys, or a favorite thing he likes to do and have resorted back to time outs and he will sit there for a full five mintues and sometimes he will fall asleep. I think that they are doing these things out of boredoom or just need attention. I try to keep him busy thru the day, since he is done with preschool for the summer and it seems to work. Good luck!!!

I really don't have any advice for you, but I do have empathy! My son will be five in July and he too has a two-year-old sibling who is in her terrible two's and is learning about time outs. And, in fact, is going there right now for hitting her brother.
The best thing I can tell you right now is that we're not alone! I know that partly the misbehavior is them trying to figure out their place in the world and testing what they can get away with (a battle of wills you might say). Best thing I've been told is BE CONSISTENT! Good luck! I feel your frustration :)

I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. Both girls. I have to say that what you are experiencing is normal.
I totaly understand your fustration when it comes to the lack of listening and the youngest child picking up on the bad habits. Just remember, all moms are human. And our children, as much as we love them with all our hearts, they drive us all crazy at one time or another. The important thing is how you handle yourself when the little kidlets are doing their own thing.
A suggestion on business phone calls. Warn the girls ahead of time, that you need to make an important call. Explain to them what your expectations are. This is above the 2 year olds head, but the 5 year old should be able to understand, and the 2 year old will eventually follow her example. Your expectations of them are: You need to make a call, you expect them to be quiet while you are on the phone using their very best manners. (examples to follow) Show them the craft table, remind them of the snack and drink area. And lastly the reward for good behavior. Quality time with mom. 15-20 minutes of game or book reading, playing dolls, what ever their little heart desire.
Make sure that the girls are set up with an activity before you get on the phone to keep their minds busy. Doesnt have to be elaborate. Kids love crafty things. Coloring, playdoh, stickers, stamps, gluesticks and contruction paper. I have a cupboard in my kitchen that is designated for just craft supplies.
Reward them for their good behavior. Ex. All the quiet kids , get special time with mama when off the phone. Read a book or play a game inside or outside if they use their best manners while you are on the phone.
As far as the hungry thing that is triggered by seeing you on the phone. My suggestion is to prepare snacks and make them available for them to reach on their own. Give them their own shelf in the fridge and pack it with washed and cut up fruit, plate of cheese and crackers, juice boxes, ect... Give them their own cupboard with kid friendly dishes that they can reach themselves. Target has plastic inexpensive kid size plates, cups and silver ware. Set of 6 for like 2.00 ea. This will help develope independence and help free you up while on the phone and save a lot of fustration. And they get a kick out of being able to help themselves and having their own special area.
Try your best to keep the phone calls as short as possible.
When the household is tense because children choose to not listen, I lighten the mood by making a joke. "It must be Opposite Day today! Let me check my calendar."
Kids will want to know what opposite day is. This is a good lead in for explaining that they are doing the opposite of what you need them to do. This can become a lot of fun.
Another example that works well is to give kids choices. But only 2 at a time. Ex. is "Would you like to color while I am on the phone , or would you like to play outside." Any thing else is not an option. This 'choice thing' can apply to everything throughout the day.
Well I think I have gone on and on long enough. Any questions please feel free to email.

asking a 5 year old to go outside and not get dirty is unrealistic. If you expect her to not get dirty- keep her inside sitting on the couch and watching tv.

kids are supposed toget dirty.

as to interrupting when you are on the phone... she is almost old enough to learn that is not allowed.. but she will forget and you will have to remind her.

she is a normal child doing normal things..

maybe you should send her to preschool/daycare and take a break.

I know this is "normal" behavior, but just make sure outside factors are not contributing to it. I know my son can not have caffenine or he is completely wild. His Papa will think it's a treat to buy him a slurpee, but I hate the after effects. He also can not have candy/sugar in the evening or bedtime is a nightmare. Concerning tantrums, let her have them...she is just venting and she's the one who looks silly and finally has to get off the floor. My approach to not listening is: First offence = verbal warning, 2nd = timeout for 5 minutes, 3rd = bedroom (at this stage, my son ALWAYS take a nap) so he comes down when he is finally calm and rested. I hope this helps. Just remember to stick to a routine for discipline and she will know when's she been bad by the first warning.

All I can say is Join the Club! Be happy you just have one, I have triplets that will be 5 next month. My girl (bbg triplets) won't even stay in the yard. I turn my back for a second and she is down the street.

M.

oh L.
i hate to tell you this but it a girl thing we do not get to be the strong women we are with out starting out to be shpuld i say it hard head i raised four girls so far and they all went thur it as far as the phone thing goes i am still trying to get my 17 year old to stop asking me thing when i am on the phone it will get better good luck

You are not alone! I have a 5yr old son and now a 3mo old daughter and we have been going thru this even at the age of 4! Everyone has great ideas - like Heidi's but that doesn't work for mine it seems like even when I warn him and give him things he normaly does not play with only on special times he is still done with in sec. and starts with me. I wish I could help you so I could even help myself - but for your sanity your not alone!!!!!!!!!!!

Well L. that is kids being..kids, they dont have the patience you do, and if you lose your temper all the time with these occurances then she might be acting out more due to it. I have learned finally with my third child that I can't hold my grip too hard on my kids, If i have them a shower and they get sand in their hair, well then rinse them off with the hose, its little things that are getting to you, take a breath and enjoy them, before you know it they are grown up and you will miss those days

WOW!!!!!!!! It definitly has to be a FIVE YEAR OLD thing!!!!!!!!!! My daughter who's five, absolutly lives in her own world!! I basically have to yell before she even acknowlodges me telling her to do something. And snotty attitude, OMG!!!!!! We have decided we are "laying down the law"!!!! Whatever it takes i think!!! I don't know what to tell you about the getting dirty thing!! My daughter comes home from school w/ her whole day all over her, and when she brushes her teeth, i now stand ready with a washcloth before she wipes the toothpaste on her shirt!!!!!!! Sorry i have no real solutions, i need help too, lol!!!