Five Year Old Having Reoccuring Nightmares

I would suggest taking him back to his own bed, but staying with him in his bed until he is asleep before leaving his room.

When my sisters and brothers and I were little, we weren't allowed to sleep with my parents either. When we had a nightmare, they would pull out a mattress that was under their bed already made with a sheet and blanket and we could go to sleep again on that. I have memories of falling to sleep on that bed holding my dad's hand that hung over the bed so we wouldn't be scared.

C.,

I'm going to second Cindi's theory of night terrors...it being at the same time every night seems in sync with that.

About 6mos ago, my 4yr old was waking each night between 2-3a screaming. Nothing could calm her and she would scream, as though scared to death, for more than 10minutes. What finally worked was letting her sleep on/in her sleeping bag on our floor after the waking. She starts the night in her bed, and (for the most part) finishes there too. On the occasions now that she does wake up so terrified, my husband or I will go in and hold her until she's relatively calm. At that point, we pray with her (always calms her), and then either lay down with her in her bed til she falls asleep or invite her to our room to sleep on the floor at the foot of our bed. At this point, we cover the coming night in our bedtime prayers
Jesus, please help Catherine's dreams to all be good ones and for there to be no mean or scary things, only nice things.
Honestly, I think there's only been one time that she had a scary waking when we've prayed like that.
She's told me about scary dreams with 'mean monsters' and 'mean men with guns' (thank you evening news). I've since told her that she can ask Jesus to make the mean ones go away, or say "In Jesus name, go away mean monsters"
It may sound kinda goofy to some people, but my family believes this way.
One last story: I have written in my journal a day in April when she told me at breakfast that she had a scary dream the night before. I asked her if she wanted to tell me more about it. She said "There were monsters being mean to me, but that Jesus made them go away...but they didn't say 'Sorry'". That was the end of it for her. Thanks to her terrifying dreams she now believes in the power of Jesus to keep her safe.

Maybe the sleeping bag at the foot of the bed would work for you? Or staying with him until he drifts off again....

I hope that something I wrote helps....if anything needs clarifying, just let me know.

K., mama to
Catherine, 4.5y
Samuel, 18m

Can he tell you what his nightmare is about? Are you familiar with "Night terrors?" I am not saying this is what it is, but if your son can't explain the dreams, than perhaps he is having a night terror. I would call his pedi. and ask for advice. Another suggestion is to google in night terrors to get some information. It usually happens between ages 3 to 12 years. As they say, "and this to shall pass!" Blessings!

My sister had this problem as a little one and my mom kept a mat in the bedroom for her to sleep on when she was scared after a dream, then she went back to her room when mom woke her.

Her daughter now also has nightmares. They seem to precede some 'haunting' type stuff in their house though so I think her dreams are spiritual related.

They pray before bed that she has only good dreams and they have 'monster spray' and practice telling the spirits to go away in the name of Jesus.

S., mom to 1 in Heaven, 4 on Earth, and 1 in the oven!

Dear C.,

You should ask him to tell you about his dream. You may be able to find out what is scaring or worrying him. My four year old used to have nightmares, but after talking about them he seemed to do alot better.

Our son, now 10, had night terrors for a couple of years. They would occur on and off and they are pretty scary. They are different from a "bad dream" or regular nighmare. When you son does wake up I think the suggestions of letting him sleep on a pallet by your bed is a good one. Or you and your husband could take turns getting into bed with him in his room until he falls back to sleep. He needs to loving comfort one way or the other. Many of the other comments provide good suggestions - just remember that your son is only 5 years old and has been in a deep sleep when he wakes up. He is not manipulating you to make you let him get in your bed.

Hi C. P,

I haven't read any other responses so I apologize if I am repeating something you've already read. It is proven that 5 year olds go through a phase where they have, not just nightmares, but what are referred to as night TERRORS. I don't know what it is that causes this at this age, but it's definitely something to take seriously and to research. A great tool is www.about.com That website can answer nearly every question.

I am 41 and I can still recall having these terrors. Bless your baby's heart. I know it won't last forever, but it sure is hard being on both sides of the issue. I wish you all the best with this.

C.,
My sister had the same issue with my nephew. He would wake every night abotut the same time screaming and scared. She talked to her ped and he suggested waking him up about 30 min before his "waking time" at 3am and take him to the bathroom etc. She did that for about a week and that seemed to help. She also gave him melatonin drops in some water before bedtime. They are a natural sleep aid and once the terrors stopped she stopped giving the drops. My nephew gets these "terrors" every once in a while and each time my sister does the same routine and it seems to stop the terrors. I hope this information helps you and your son.

C., if your son was younger it just might be that he was trying to sleep with you. At 5, however, he is old enough to articulate what might be going on in his dreams. There are a couple things you might consider. Accept that he may actually be have night terrors (you can research this phenomenom.) It may take a bit of work on your part to help him get through whatever it is that is going on and chances are that something is going on. If he wakes up at the same time each nite, you might set your alarm to softly awaken you a little before then. Spend a few minutes watching him sleep. Or get out of bed and walk him back to his bed when he comes to you. Soothe him and help him get back to sleep. Check out what he is watching on television. Change his diet a bit, maybe he is getting too much of a certain food or eating too late. Make sure he is getting plenty of exercise. Try a little bedtime massage and consider a little lavender spray for his pillow. Talk to his father about spending more time with him before bed. Pay attention to what it going on with him. If he stays at his grandparents house does this happen? Good Luck.

I am an empty nester now, but when my daughter was young, she had a terrible fear of alligators and had a hard time going to sleep. This may sound simplistic, but I filled a spray bottle with water and every night we would use "Alligator Spray" in her room to keep out the bad alligators. It worked like a charm. For those times when she couldn't sleep, we never allowed her to sleep in our bed, but rather made a pallet on the floor in our room (nothing too comfortable, but yet she felt secure). That way, you and your husband are not losing your space nor feeding your child's desire to sleep WITH you. Hope this helps.

My son had trouble with nightmares too around that age. Instead of letting him come into the bed, however, we went into the living room, and I would lay on the couch and have him lay on top of me with his head on my chest, so he could hear my heartbeat. Don't turn anything except enough light to see. The quiet and the heartbeat will help soothe him back to sleepy mode; in about ten minutes, ask him if he's ready to go back to bed. My son always was and he was fine for the rest of the night. Don't ask him much about what happened until the next morning until he wakes up...if it's night terrors, he won't remember anyway. Do get him checked out by the doctor. It could be sleep apnea issues, or something minor that he might just have to grow out of.

If he's using this as an excuse to get in your bed, you'll find out pretty quickly. And you won't have sent him back to bed scared in any case. Good luck!

hi C.,,
i beleive dreams have a underline meaning to them there are many books out about dreams and there meanings,you local libray should have them but you have to look up all the thingd seperate like day,night ,children parents ,what there doing ect and maybe you can get to the root of the problem then fix what he is exited or scared about
good luck L.

My son had the same problem at the same age. I think it may be a developmental thing. We let him bring his blanket and pillow in and sleep on our floor. That way we could all get some sleep. It went on for quite a while (maybe a few months?), and then slowly it just tapered off, and he very rarely ever comes into our room now, except when he's sick.

Hi C.,

First off, here's my experience as a child:

Whenever any of the 5 of us woke up, my mother would take us to the bathroom, and we would always go, and then she would tuck us back into bed. Even when my parents visited next door and my younger sister woke up and sleep walked, I would do the same as my mother did, and it worked. Maybe I should add that we three sisters slept together in an over-sized bed, so we had plenty of company if we were scared.

From what I've read, 5 year-olds respond really well to "magic." Check with your local librarian re. good books for children about dealing with nightmares, monsters under the bed, etc. When he wakes up, get your makeshift "wand" (maybe, during the day, he could help you decorate it and make it SUPER magic?) and perform a magic "spell" to banish the nightmare, then put him back to bed with a favorite stuffed animal, and the wand on his bedside table.

Best of luck! jenifer

My parents let us make a pallette on the floor. We didnt get into bed with them once we got older. Mainly because I kicked in my sleep. But this let me feel safe but it was just uncomfortable enough if I woke up again and wasnt scared I would go back to my bed. Good luck. Prehaps talk to him and find out what his nightmares are about and ask him if school/ life is going well. When I stress I have nightmares. God bless.

Hi C., my sister has this problem as well as a friend. One suggestion to try for about a week, is if it is always right around the 3am every morning, go in around 2:45 and slightly wake him up and get him out of that sleep pattern he is in. It worked for my sister for a short while. It later got to the point where she went to a child psychologist and the psychologist said that it is going to take tough love, locking her in her room, it will be a rough couple of nights, but she will get the hint.. My sister refuses to do that. I wish I had better advice, but I would try something because the longer you let him do this, the longer he will do it. Do you try walking him back to him room? Hope this helps a bit... J.

Hi C.,

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Sleep Well!

We had this problem with one of our kids, and solved it by comforting her, then saying that if she was really too scared to go back to her own bed, she could sleep on the floor. Eventually, it passed. Perhaps he is having anxiety about kindergarten or camp?