Fits

Dear S.D.,

I sat down with my son one day and told him that I had a problem. I loved to take him to the park. I enjoyed seeing him play with friends, zip down the slide, and just enjoy being outside under the blue sky, etc. Then I told him that I was beginning to dread going to the park instead of enjoying it because of the fits when it was time to leave. Going to fun places was starting to be no fun for me and I was thinking of just staying at home or going by myself. I told him that I didn't want to miss out on all the fun times with him and asked if he could help me find a solution. When my son helped with an answer, he took ownership and we were much more successful.

Good luck!

Jen

If you find something that works, let the rest of us know because all little kids do these things from time to time. It is totally normal and we have all been in your shoes. He just hasn't learned self control yet and probably won't until he has had more opportunites to practice it and mature. You are doing all the right things in my book, but he is just a very young child who needs more time to learn. Sometimes I expect my kids to "get it" the first time, but then I have to remind myself that they are little and it takes lots of tries and patience on my part before they are going to do it right. That is what parenting is all about. Just keep up the good work and don't worry what others think. All parents will understand and if there are some who are annoyed by it, just smile and don't give them a second thought.

The next time tell him from now on he will NOT go with you because of the fit throwing and crying. let him know big boys only can go. If he wants to act like a baby, babies are too young to be able to go with you. And stick to that. he will catch on fast enough.

This is a tough one!!! I went through the same thing about 2 months ago with my 2 1/2yr old son and what worked with him was to give him time frames. I would tell him at the park that we would be leaving in 5min. and that he can go down the slide two more times. Then I would give him a 2min. time frame and then they a 1min. and then let him know that it was time say bye to his friends and walk to the car.

Good luck, this is a hard one!!! I'm going through major tantrum fits with my 1 1/2 yr old son now and he doesn't understand as well as my 2 1/2 yr old son so it's becoming a battle!

I did the timeframes and that is also the age I started a reward system. This gave me the ability to administer punishment on the spot instead of talking about what will happen. At that age I think she needed 10-20 tokens to win a suprise. (Back then I saved goodies from b-D. parties for the suprise box.)
* when we arrived, I reminded her of the consequences
* gave the time warnings of impending departure
* when she started to throw a fit - I told her she just lost a token. If she continued, she would lose another. Gave her a chance to recover between. Hope this helps!

Love and Logic is wonderful.

I also love "Happiest Toddler on the Block" (the DVD...book is hard to follow). We haven't ever had a fit we could not diffuse quickly with this technique. I studied child development and Psych and never heard of this type of communication, but it WORKS...I still use this on my five year olds at school that I teach.