First Time for 2 Year Old to Sleep Away from Mommy

Will a Dad be there? Necessity necessitates. First night might be rough, but he will get thru it. A day or two before you leave, you might want to introduce the topic. Make it short. Do. It dwell on it. Less is more.

Don't over think this and project your fears to him. That is not fair to your son.

Don't act sad and like you are going to be gone for a very long time. Why are you so "frantic with worry"? You do realize that your son will grow up and move out someday. Why not empower him instead of scare him to death thinking he can't live without you by his side. Also, YOU will be ok not being around your son too!!

DO.... talk up and be excited about the special time he gets with dad. This will be a great time for him and dad to do some special bonding.

He NEEDS time away from you so he can know that he can sleep without you or have you do everything for him. You also NEED to be away from him to give yourself a chance to recharge and come back and be a better wife and mom.

He might get antsy the first night but you know, I bet your husband will do just fine with his own son.

You do realize that the message you are sending to your hubby is that you don't trust him, you don't think he can handle HIS own son, you don't think he can manage without you around. Your hubby could very well be offended with that attitude. I know I would be.

GO on your trip, be productive and come back recharged.

ETA: I just read your answer to another question and I think there is a bigger issue here. You and your brother slept with your parents until you left for college? If that is indeed true, PLEASE go get some counseling so you don't screw up your child.

ETA 2: Why did you details out of the original post? Just FYI for anyone else who happens to click on this post. It is altered from the original post.

ETA3: now you changed your name? I'm calling TROLL and I'm thinking this person is also HARRY N. What kid sleeps with patents through high school???

Who will be caring for him while you're away?
Dad? Grandma?
Trust in that person.
Comfort is comfort and it doesn't have to look like your comforting exactly to be a comfort.
Most likely, this will be harder for you than it will be for him.
We've always said in our house "dads do things differently."
Doesn't mean "better" or "worse" -- just different than moms!

Please ignore the co-sleeping naysayers. If co-sleeping works for you, great! No harm in that!!! My kids co-slept and managed to have a wonderful time at Grandma's and with aunts & uncles & cousins and sometimes (not always) found there way back into our bed upon return. Mommy and Daddy will always be there comfortable place, their soft place to fall. That's what we want for them. They are healthy and happy and capable of sleeping in their own bed.

If Daddy will be home with him, think of this as an opportunity for them to bond. They need to have a relationship, too. Your son needs to know Daddy is there for him, and Daddy needs to know (for sure, not just in theory) that he can handle it.

If it's not Daddy, talk to your son about how much fun he'll have at Grandma's (or with whomever). This can be a wonderful time for he to Bond with someone else and fir both of you to know that things will be ok and "Mommy always comes back!"

It's not easy leaving them fir the first time, even if they're 8 years old and staying home with Daddy. It's just not easy.

So try to remind yourself that the person taking care of him loves him, too, and will comfort him and have a great time with him.

J.:

Welcome to mamapedia!!

Unfortunately, you need break your son of the habit of sleeping with you. I know there are MANY co-sleeper proponents here, I'm not one of them. I'm all for napping together during the day - but sleeping? Nope in your own bed.

The more you panic and fret over this? The more stressed your son will be as you prepare to leave. Be happy. Stick to the facts. Mommy is going away to work. You and daddy will have so much fun while I'm gone!!

You need to trust that your husband is a good dad. Basically - what you are saying right now being that you are frantic with worry - you don't trust your husband - the man you married - to take care of your child and he's incompetent...is that what you REALLY think? If so - why are you married to him? Why did you have kids with him?

Let him be the parent. Trust him to take care of his son.
Go on your business trip and do your best.

Uh yeah, TF Plano/Allen, I noticed that about sleeping with brother and parents too. I'm totally confused as to why kids slept in parent's bed while parents slept on the floor??? Something isn't right...

The first night maybe tough for both of you but it will be okay. Our son used to always sleep in our room at night however he did do the occasional night at his grandparent's house but only there outside of our home. He may have not slept perfectly there but it worked out okay. Kids take a day or two to adapt to a different situation but they do adapt. I am assuming he staying with dad or someone else he is familiar with!?
My son started going to overnight camp last year for one week and 3 weeks this year at the age of 8. Last year he would still on occuasion sleep in our room and did wonderful at overnight camp. I would say be as positive as you can wtih him even though you are upset. The more excitment you show and promote this to him as a postive experience it will be easier on him and you.

Now would be a good time to stop doing that. After five days, I would recommend you don't start co sleeping again. He's old enough that he should be in his own bed.

ETA: I've asked this before - why are all the trolls from Beverly Hills!?

I'm all about co-sleeping. My boys co-slept when they were little, and our 5 year old occasionally comes into our bed in the middle of the night. I'm not concerned about that at his age, as he does this occasionally when he needs comfort.

But I can't help but wonder if this is a troll and/or Harry N. That was a crazy question, and what parents are going to sleep on the floor for 18 plus years?

Well, I've kept children overnight who have this issue and all I can say is it wasn't a good night. I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but when parents get children used to co-sleeping, it does create other issues - like this one. Parents need to really THINK before instilling this habit - are you SURE you will be there EVERY SINGLE NIGHT? It's really horrible for the caretaker and the child when the answer is no.

Start the separate sleeping now days before you have to leave. Good luck

This is the problem with co-sleeping - both parent and child get anxious about being separate, and neither can be comforted. At some point, your child has to learn to sleep separately - a lot of parents put this off thinking that somehow it will be easier at 1 year old than at 6 months, at 4 years old than at 2 years, at 8 years old than at 4. Sometimes it's so hard for the parent (especially the mom) that it's actually her own comfort that dictates the decision to keep the child in the bed.

There's no easy time. Moreover, your franticness at this point is going to spill over to him big time. Kids pick up on our emotions even if we think we are hiding it. You're not just concerned or edgy, you say you are frantic with worry. That's a huge impact on a child.

You don't say if his father is in the same bed. Is there a reason why his father isn't a comfort to him? This child is 2 and has not yet learned to self-soothe? That's a skill that needs to be taught. Kids need to wake up and night like everyone else, and put themselves back to sleep. You have not taught your child that, and it's time to start. Your child needs his rest, and he's not getting enough uninterrupted sleep if he's awake and night and there's a big to-do about being comforted and calmed down.

Depending on how much time there is between now and your trip, you may have to do this in stages. If your trip is very soon, the first thing to do is start teaching your child that Daddy or Grandma or whoever else is in his life is a perfectly loving and competent person, capable of comforting and childcare. You tell the child every day how very lucky he is to have Daddy who loves him just as much as mommy does, how dads (or caregivers) do things great even if differently, there's no perfect way, he's surrounded by love, etc. etc.

If you have time, you start transitioning him to his own bed and ideally his own room. A child needs his space, and he needs to learn that his mommy needs privacy and adult time in her own bed. The best time to do this is on a weekend when the adults in the house can do without sleep. It's usually a few nights of hell and then the child learns that he's capable. Some people start with a mattress in the master bedroom and transition the child to a separate bed before a separate room. There are plenty of books on this - go to the library and try a few. But your child will not be sleeping with you at 10 or at 17, so at some point you will have to go through this! So sooner is better. Do not procrastinate and think it will happen on its own.

If you don't have time to do all of this before your trip, then keep him in the bed for now and work on who else will be comforting him at night. That means that you don't hold him or make this any more dependent than it already is. If you can sleep in another room a few nights, go ahead. The message to give kids is, "You can do this. Lots of people love you and you are safe, no matter what bed you are in and no matter who is with you. You will always be cared for by people who love you so much."