First Miscarriage

First off I am so sorry for your loss. I have suffered 4 miscarriages. There really is no way to fell 100%. The only thing I could do was be close to the ones I loved. I can only say to be close with family and friends and esp. that little girl of yours. She's your best medicine. Be thankful for her. I hope you the best

T.--I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I had a miscarriage with my very first pregnancy and felt like I would cry forever. It was a very hard time for me but was comforted in the women that I talked to who went through the same experience. It's one of those topics that is never really discussed unless it happens to you or someone close to you. I was amazed at how often it does occur. I have a 6 year old daughter and 5 year old son who are my world. I think if I would not have miscarried I would not have the two beautiful kids I have now. I know this is a very hard time for you and the only advise I can give you is to lean on the ones you love. Time seems to have healed my pain as I hope it will yours. God bless you and your daughter. Please know I'm here if you need and ear.

I truly don't know how to help you, but HUGS HUGS AND MORE HUGS your way! I can certainly keep you in my prayers!

I am so sorry T., honestly I don't know that anyone can make you feel better. It really is a grieving process that you have to allow yourself to have. I had a still birth almost 10 years ago and then a miscarriage 2 years ago. With my miscarriage I just had to have faith that there was a reason for it. It does not mean that it has to be easy to handle but I think our bodies know what they are doing and sometimes we just have to trust that. You will get through it, and I will keep you in my prayers.

T., I understand how you are feeling. I have had two miscarriages one at 10 weeks and one at 4 1/2 months. It does get better. You never forget, but it gets to a point where is does not hurt as much any more. Anger, Sadness, and the sence of being Empty will all go away and you will make peace with it. Some good books that really helped me were Don't Cry Mommy, There are no Tears in Heaven, and also a book called Empty Arms. I hope this helps and I hope that you soon see brighter days. Good Luck.

Hi T., im so sorry hun,I have had 3 miscarriages and 2 abortions and 2 living children Very hurt about my abortions now but I cant go back so the miscarriages sometimes its God way if your religious no offense intended of saying somethings wrong with the child in most casses or somethings wrong with the whole process . So enjoy your daughter you have many years ahead of ya and I know its very difficult If your tired sleep but you may want to try some hormone therapy if your realy down I would suggest a natural one wal-mart has the cheapest or even vitamins and pamper yourself and your daughter too baths fun times ect. you guys deserve it-- any other questions Im here to help tc and gl D.

Hi T. - gentle hugs coming to you . . . I am so sorry to hear of your m/c.. . . I say talk/talk/talk . . . Whatever emotion you are feeling - let it go, get angry, cry . . . Find someone you trust with no judgment that will let you talk openly/freely . .(as much or as little as need be). There are a lot of support groups out there too . . Feel frere to pm if need be . . . Take care!

seek refuge in the Lord and the people that he has placed around you. the more you are around the people that love and care about you the more you will not be alone and withdrawn with the issue. You obviously have the strength to deal with this so keep going and know that God is not done with you yet. You will get pregnant again love! In Jesus name.

My heart goes out to you. I had a miscarriage over 2 years ago. I now have 15 month old twins. I think about the baby I lost often, but I know that if I wouldn't have lost that baby, I wouldn't have my beautiful baby boys either. My point is everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we never understand that reason, but God knows best.
Stay close to the ones you love and lean on them. If you want to talk about the miscarriage, talk, if you don't want to talk about it, don't. Do whatever makes you feel better. Just take one day at a time.

T., I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had 2 myself and the only thing that helps is time. It's grieving a child and only time will heal you. Let out what you feel. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like screaming, scream. If you fell like talking, talk. Sometimes you'll want to be alone and other times you won't be able to stand being alone. Just do what makes you feel better at the time. Holding your daughter will do wonders for you too. You may have lost a child, but you still have a beautiful little girl to love and cherish. You will never forget, but it won't always hurt like this either.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is hard, and it will be for some time to come. You will have your ups and downs, your good days and your bad days. I also had a miscarriage back in October, I also have an 8 yr old son and a 4 yr old daughter, so I never thought that could happen to me. And now 5 months later I still have my days when that baby is all I can think about, and I cry. Most people even those you are close to won't know what to say to you, or how to help you cope, unless of course they have been through the same. There will be times when you can't talk about it and then there will be times when all you want to do is talk about it. You should follow your heart, and do what feels right to you. And be thankful for your daughter, and no all things happen for a reason. And this is what was meant to be, one day you may realize what the reason was but you may never know the reason. Just know that is nothing you did, I still think that sometimes, and then remember I did everything right. There are many of us out there that have been through the same ordeal, don't be afraid to lean on us. May god bless you and your daughter!

Here's a website. www.fertilethoughts.com
It is one I am currently on. There are forums for Infertility (which include miscarriage) and forums for pregnancy (which also includes a miscarriage) This has been my lifesaver in both my efforts to have a baby (a son who is now 3), and when I had my 2 miscarriages recently. There are women on there currently going thru this and those that had gone thru it prior. It's nice to have that connection although you don't know them personally.

Sending out many hugs to you. Take it one day at a time and take care of yourself as well.

So sorry for your loss~

Get busy girl! With anything...your daughter, cleaning, a new craft...etc. That was the best thing I have done in the past when I miscarried. If I had time on my hands, my mind would wonder and I would it get me down. After my first one, I had the cleanest house around. Every cabinet was spotless, lol!

hugs to you!
Stace

I am so very sorry. I had my first miscarriage 10 years ago and then my second one 1 year ago. It is a hard thing to handle. All the advice people give is going to be easier said than done. Basically your going to have to just give yourself time to heal and grieve. It's going to be a hard journey, and your going to wonder why this had to happen, but if you do believe in God, your just going to have to realize there is a reason why this happened and you may never know or understand why. Right now it feels pretty crappy and each day you may begin to feel a little better. For me, it's always in the back of my mind and something I will never forget, even though I have 2 beautiful little boys. I will always grieve for the 2 children I lossed.

At this point there's nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel better. When I miscarried 15 years ago, I was young & all people could tell me was it was for the best & the doctors gave me a book called Necessary Losses (I never read it!) The doctors wouldn't give me any anti-depressants because they said it was guilt I was feeling because I must have thought about having an abortion (I'm pro-life). I'm telling youthese things because people may have had some of the same approaches with you. It's a subject people don't want to discuss because it makes them uncomfortable & they don't know what to say. You will never forget, but it will get easier. Try to find a friend who will listen whenever you need to talk, even if it's to ramble about the same thing over & over again. Understand what you are feeling is real & that grief progresses in stages. Stay strong for your little girl, I'm sure you will be able to have another baby when the time is right. (Yes I know it won't replace this one) I wish you & your little girl the best!

I am so sorry for your loss. We miscarried in September at 16 weeks. The months that followed were some of the most difficult times of my life. The things that helped me the most was talking it through with anybody that would listen and lots of prayer. I don't know how I would have made it through with the support of my family and friends. I spent a lot of time on the phone talking and crying with friends, and it helped so much. I also went to a perinatal bereavement support group a few times when I would be having a really bad day. Don't know where you live, but Shawnee Mission Medical Center has a great group that I would definately recommend. I felt like going to the group took some of the burden off my husband and family and friends when my grief became very heavy. I'm sure I wasn't being a burden to them, but I felt bad when it felt like that was all I could think or talk about! Eventually though it does get better and eventually you will start having good days again. Another thing that also helped us is to find a way to remember the baby you lost. My husband's family gave us a tree in memory of our son and it provides me great comfort and joy when I look at it. Especially now that it is spring and has a few blooms on it! One more thing...exercising really helped too. I took a lot of walks and started working out again. It gave me time to think and sort things out. Hope some of these ideas help.