My daughter is in first grade and wets her pants at school about once a week; sometimes more, sometimes less. She did this all last year too. She attends a large public school and I have discussed problem with teacher and doctor with no relief. Is this normal and does anyone have any suggestions. I have also discussed with my daughter too.
This usually happens when the teacher seems strict and loud and the child is sensitive and quiet. Fear of asking and then it's too late!
I agree with those who said the three of you should talk together.
She may be embarrassed to ask, or may have to go during a time that is a no-interrupting time, like when teacher is reading a story. Find out when this is happening, which may help you and teacher to come up with ways to avoid the problem. If it's always during story time, she may need to go just before they sit down to hear the story. If she's embarrassed to ask, maybe she and teacher can figure out a signal (two fingers up? Thumb up?) that's their secret code for, "Can I go to the bathroom, please?"
Anytime I see a question like this, I always am reminded of my daughter in Kindergarten.
She was potty trained by her 2nd birthday. By the time she started kindergarten, she had had a total of 3 nighttime accidents after night training (around age 2 1/2) and those were from me not realizing she didn't 'go' before she went to bed or whatever. This child just did/does not have potty accidents.
She wet her pants in kindergarten.
Why? Very simple. She is a rule follower. And the "rules" said that when you are in reading groups you do not speak if it isn't your turn to read.
Yep.. that's it. There isn't more to the story. She followed the rules. I had to talk to her, with her, WITH THE TEACHER PRESENT confirming everything I said, to get her to understand that going to the bathroom ALWAYS takes precedent over an arbitrary rule like that. Her teacher told her plainly "you don't even have to raise your hand, just get up and go!" (they had bathrooms IN the classroom)
She never had another accident at school.
So, first I would ask your daughter what caused her to not go to the bathroom. Don't blame. Or suggest. Or anything. Just ask her why she didn't go before it was too late, and see what she says. Maybe the rules are too confusing. Maybe she was afraid to interrupt the teacher to ask. Maybe ______... Just see what she says. And then make her understand how to advocate for herself in that situation in the future.
Good luck.
My first thought was to remind her daily to always use the bathroom at recess whether she feels like she has to go or not.
Then that got me thinking that maybe she doesn't want to go into the bathroom at recess. If older girls are "hanging out" in the bathroom, she may feel intimated about going in there.
You'll never know what's going on until you ask her. Don't be angry, just tell her you'd like to help her figure out what's going on so you can help her correct it.
Good luck! This must be very embarassing for her!
I did this a few times in first grade and i had attended daycare all the years prior.
It was a few things. things.
Embarrassed to ask for permission to go to the potty in front of everyone.
Embarrassed and worried about interrupting the teacher to ask for permission to go to the potty. (As though she would tell me no)
or having too much fun to want to stop what I was doing and could not hold it any longer.
What helped was my mom and teacher met together with me. My mom explained my fears and the teacher reassured me, not to be embarrassed, that even she had to go to the potty sometimes. And all of the children have to go sometime.
And raising my hand would always get her attention and was the way we got the teachers attention in school. I also was told if i needed to go to the potty before going outside or going to special classes like music or gym, to just let her know and to go and do what I needed to do.
That is all it took for me to feel it was ok.
Stress? Fearful at school?
Could be anything! Yes, as others posted the school could be too stressful, and everything. Talk with her teacher to see when bathroom time is and if she is really going, and also what is going on in the classroom whe she has an accident (is it when your child could be really nervous about a specific activity or type of activity). Your daughter could be nervous about something or change in activity or when another child in trouble or the opposite is she really engaged and excited about something and doesn't want to miss it by going away to the bathroom.
Also, I would go to another pediatrician and get a second opinion, maybe even a third. There are real disorders that can cause this. Also, changes at home, fear at home, can cause this at school or anywhere, really ask yourself if theres anything you are doing or exposing your child to that could make her nervous/anxious/worried. This is also an issue with children that are being verbally, emotionally, physically, sexually abused. Think of everyone your daughter has contact with and analize each relationship (family, neighbors, other kids on the bus or bus stop, other kids at school, playdates, dance teachers, everybody!)
All in all, you have to do a TON of investigating. First with the teacher and with your daughter to find any similarities, is anything making sense. Kids talk a lot at night when you are tucking them in, when they are very tired. Make this a priority to tuck her in and talk about her day and anything on her mind. Hopefully you'll get answers soon!
My first guess is that she doesn't like to use the school bathrooms and is trying to withhold her urine... saving it all up for home, and then when she can't hold it any longer on certain days she wets herself. Some children just don't like using school bathrooms.
Has she been more prone to UTI's or bladder infections since starting school?
