How Often Do Your Kindergarteners Have Potty Accidents If Ever?

poor little cowgirl. first the baby jealousy, then potty shaming.
but good for you for realizing that you created this. now you have to fix it, and you don't do that by harping on her.
back. off.
have a quiet word with the teacher at the beginning of the year, and send a change of clothes. better yet, put her in big-girl pull-ups while she works her way through this, and just put an extra one (or two) in her backpack. no one will ever know.
no 'vibrating reminders.' no more shaming. she's going to have a big adjustment to make when she starts, and it may exacerbate the problem briefly. be brisk, sympathetic (mildly so) and no-nonsense. most of all, stop making this very very small molehill into a mountain.
khairete
S.

Neither of my kids had potty accidents in Kindergraten, but it's not unusual for it to happen. That's why they ask for a full change of clothes to be kept at school. Even though she is having accidents at home, it doesn't mean that she will at school.

You've made too big of a deal about it, yes. Just try to let it go and not make it A Big Topic anymore. Clean up calmly when it happens and act like it is non-issue.

No vibrating reminder, no diapers/depends. Just stop focusing on it. It's not as big of a deal as you think, but you're making it into one. The more you try to do to "fix" it, the worse you are making it.

Kids have accidents in kindergarten and even first grade. It's not 'common' because, thankfully, most teachers are pretty gracious and discreet about having the kids go to the office to get clothes from the 'clothing closet' (the school keeps extras/donations of underpants, pants, socks) or their parent is called and if available, brings clothes.

Your reaction is about you and your projections are about you. In kindergarten, half the kids don't know half of the other kids. Their memories go about as far back as snacktime. Your over-reacting only shames and upsets your girl. Giving her the message that she is not ready for kindergarten and doesn't fit in is hurtful. She is making a LOT of adjustments and needs help feeling good about herself and how she manages herself. It won't come from being given hard lines about what she can and cannot do. I'm sure she is a kid who already feels awful about it anyway.

Putting her in a diaper will only further label her a 'baby' by her peers, if that is what you are worried about. I'd really have a conversation with the teacher and get some of her/his opinion and insight on this. It is likely not the first time they have encountered a child who is having trouble with this.

Talk with the teacher- she's likely your best ally in this.

Nervy Girl.....1,000 flowers to you.

I would stop drawing attention to it. Quietly clean it up. Help her/show her how to do it. Do not react.. Just clean up.

I have anxious child. If this was my scenario, I would be taking long relaxing walks to the bathroom (several un beknownst to her) until she was comfortable finding it. ETA: while at the school walk-thru/ orientation/first day..........

I would mention outbound how uncomfortable it can be to "stop" for a bathroom break or feel the eyes on you to ask to go, especially in a classroom. I would probably ask the teacher, with my daughter, when bathroom breaks are and how one takes one un scheduled. I would help my daughter find clues in the day to note when breaks or times are coming.

Our K classrooms had bathrooms in the classroom so this was a non event.

Put extra clothing in a target(plastic) bag (with her name) and keep it in her backpack. Help her/ show her how to discreetly change if need be.

Unless there is a medical reason, I would let this go for a few months.

My youngest was a bit of a stinker with the potty training thing, and it was getting to be a battle of wills. She picked up on my frustrations.

Once I let it go and let it be "hers" it resolved quickly. I feel your pain :-(.

Haven't you been here on this site long enough to know that you don't shame your child for wetting? Maybe you didn't read the pottying threads?

Listen to what Nervy Girl is saying. If you want your daughter to stop wetting herself, don't expect her to be a little adult. This is absolutely normal. Stop fussing at her. You have her scared to go to school because you've convinced her that she's a bad girl for wetting herself. It doesn't matter that you didn't mean to, but you DID.

You have a lot of backpedaling to do. Go talk to the teacher and tell her that you messed up. The teacher needs to understand why your daughter is a mess right now. Do NOT put her in diapers.

At our school the kindergarten classes are all in the same hallway with its own restroom, and the teachers are very relaxed about the kids going to the restroom. The teachers also schedule breaks for the kids (the really don't do anything for more than 20 minutes), and encourage them to use the restroom. It's not like in the older grades where all the kids are at a desk facing the board while the teacher lectures and they have to raise their hand and ask to use the restroom. Kindergarten has a lot of movement, and the kids really can use the restroom just about anytime they need to. (So I really don't think you need the watch.)

Parents are strongly encouraged to have an extra set of clothes in their child's backpack in case of accidents. The teachers know this is a possibility and are ready to deal with it. Both of my boys had an accident or two in kindergarten. While they were both embarrassed, the teachers handled it well and all was soon forgotten.

The best think you can do for her is back off completely. Just stop talking about it. Let her know that you are very proud of her and excited about your big girl starting kindergarten. Talk about her teacher, classroom and friends. Ask her about her day and what she did. Just whatever you do, don't mention going potty or accidents or anything related unless she brings it up! You are not helping her at all by talking about this.

I would talk to the teacher. If school starts on Monday, you can still send an email tonight. Chances are the teacher will check it tonight or tomorrow!!! Let the teacher know your concerns and that you will be sending a change of clothing (or 2) in her backpack. Let the teacher take the lead on how to best help your daughter. If the teacher needs anything from you, he/she will let you know.

I am going to be perfectly honest. In all my 13+ years of child care plus being a grandmother to many kids ALL kids have growth spurts and attention things go on during Pre-K and Kindergarten and 1st grade where they're going to have accidents.

Otherwise why do you think those classrooms have bathrooms inside them. You hardly ever find a modern younger age classroom without a bathroom for little ones.

This is why an extra set of clothes is needed. AND some kids need a new baggie of clothes every few days.

But it only lasts a while. Then they're back on track.

Oh my, PLEASE stop shaming and scaring her. Negative attention is still attention, and she is likely doing it (subconsciously of course) as a way to try and stay home with you, as a way of holding on to you for some reason.
As others have said, quietly and calmly deal with it and do NOT make a big deal out of it.
And yes, sometimes kids have accidents in K. Do NOT send her to school in a diaper, that would be HUMILIATING for her. Can you imagine if any of her peers saw that? She would be called baby, diaper girl, and what's worse, the girls will not want to play with her.
I'm not sure what's going on in your home, but your baby really isn't "new" any more, right? Things should be a little more settled by now, I would think. Maybe when she starts school you can meet with the counselor or psychologist and discuss some of these issues you seem to consistently struggle with.

Dont shame her about it. You might want to send her with a change of clothes (at least,undies, pants and socks) just in case. Kindergarten teachers are used to it and often they do have scheduled bathroom breaks and/or a bathroom in the classroom. Frequently the kids are "too busy" to stop what they are doing until it's too late and then they don't make it to the bathroom.

good luck

An accident once a month is not unusual.
Many kindergarten/1st grade classes will have kids keep a change of clothes in their backpack.
Depends are for adults.
Pullups are for kids - and they have them in sizes for kids to use till they are 11 or 12 yrs old seeing as some of them can't stay dry over night till about then.
Quit focusing on it and don't freak her out.
If she's nervous she can wear pullups until she can keep them dry all day and don't need them anymore - it's no big deal.
Power struggles over pottying and food are pointless.
The sooner you relax about it, the sooner she'll be over it.

Additional:
It's common for some regression when a new baby is brought home.
Your oldest feels replaced and is jealous that you'll be home with the baby all day while she has to go to school.
It amazes me how some parents can get kind of mean toward their older kids when a new bundle of joy appears on the scene.
Your older kids are still your babies too.
Try not to make them feel like chopped liver and cut your older girl some slack.

I would get direct feedback and communicate with her teacher(s). My daughter potty trained early (right on time if you ask me, but.. she was 2). When she started kindergarten, she began having random accidents at school (she didn't have this issue in K4, either, so it was totally new).

Turns out, she did not accurately understand the bathroom policy and didn't want to disrupt class time (reading circle in particular) to get up or raise her hand to ask to go to the bathroom. She thought it was against the rules if it wasn't *your turn* to be talking. Once we figured out the problem (not her ability, but her following rules that she misunderstood), it was easy to solve.

While you are aware that your daughter may have some regression issues related to a newborn in the home, it doesn't sound like you've ruled out other possible reasons for this. Do that. Talk to her teacher and confirm what the classroom policy is and with your daughter present and involved in a follow up conversation with the teacher, restate what the policy is, so that your daughter understands and knows that the teacher is in agreement with whatever it is.

And I agree with the other posters, don't shame her. It won't help. Especially if she is trying to follow rules (or something else like that that you haven't thought of) and feels like a failure for that, too. Be matter of fact, provide her change of clothes on hand at school at all times, teach her how to handle it if an accident happens, and teach her how to do so with grace.
No shame.

--
ETA
There may also be something she doesn't like about the bathroom so she avoids it. My daughter's K classroom had two. Typically the boys used one and the girls used the other, although it wasn't a "boys" and "girls" bathroom, any child could use either of them. But she didn't like the one that she considered the "boys" one.

Ask your daughter about the bathroom at school. Maybe it would even be helpful for her to use it WHILE you are at the school standing outside the door (or in there with her), but after school is dismissed, so other students aren't present. If she is uncomfortable with some aspect of it, or doesn't know how something works, you could address it then.

If it were me, I'd send them in pull ups, go over how to change them and talk to their teacher. Ours have been super helpful and have great insight into these kinds of things. They will have seen it before and will be able to offer you suggestions. I am sure they will work with your child.

You may want to just try this and drop the whole topic and see if it improves. If it's behavioral, having you not react at all to it may just be what it takes to have her stop. If it's a phase in her development (mine went through a phase of having to go frequently, not from a medical condition but just a growth spurt where it all had to catch up) just keep an eye on it. Talk to your doctor.

Good luck :)

First, don't rule out a UTI just yet, especially if you think your daughter is telling the truth and just cannot make it. With my daughters first UTI, it tested negative, then a few weeks later she had a raging fever that wouldn't go away...and it was a UTI.

Second, let the teacher know. The watch may be a distraction. It may be easier for you to find out the schedule, and have her use the restroom at specific times..like before recess, after lunch, etc. Worked well for my daughter to prevent any more UTIs.

Does she pee where it is soaking? Just letting a little out? Do you really feel she is doing it on purpose? There are other medical issues that cause urgency and leaking in kids.

Wow! I feel for your daughter! She just got replaced as the only "attention taker" in your house and she's getting ready to leave that attention taker with you all day while she's at school, and you wonder why she's having some accidents. Then you go and get her worked up and scared she may have accidents at school and how not okay that is. She must be a nervous wreck!

You can't unring the bells you've already rang, but you should put the idea of small adult diapers right out of your head! How horrible for her. You are showing absolutely no confidence in her whatsoever. Many kindergarteners have accidents. Just make sure she has a change of clothes at school. If she has more than one accident, you may have to bring her some clothes. Of course, with the way you've handled it thus far, if I were her, I would be afraid for the school to call you about this.

My son did have one once when at school and the teacher helped him change into the extra pants that all parents were required to bring to school.... just in case something like that happened.. which clearly, it must have happen a lot IF all parents are made to bring extra clothing..
In terms of Kinder, remember that the kids are still babies.. :) and are probably nervous to be there.. even if they appear happy, their little bodies may say otherwise..
I never berated my son for having an accident. In fact, while he would urinate in the toilet by 2 , he did not like to use it for BM movements. that didn't come until a bit later. However, we just worked with him and eventually he got over his fears. Shaming is never a way to go, even if you mean well..
I would be a little more gentle and too, I have seen other little ones in depends or something of nature at school.. it does happen.. and if that is what I needed to do, I'd probably do it..

good luck

My child had one minor accident and then never again. She struggled in preschool so like you I was worried. Just remind her to go when she needs to go. We try for "sneaky pee" when she might need to go -before and after sleep or meals, or before we go out to run errands or to the park. For us, it was easier than every hour or any other artificial timeframe.

I would take her to the school to scope things out. There should be an Open House and you might be able to tour the school other times if you ask. Our K asked for a change of clothes for each child (kids are messy, too) and the K classrooms all have bathrooms right there in the class or very nearby. Show her the classroom and the nearest bathroom. Take a test potty break. Empower her.

I would guess that stress is increasing the pee accidents, so try to go back to basics without shame or guilt. I would also tell the teacher she's worried and could the teacher take a moment to reassure her and remind her how going to the potty works in big kid school?

Most kids have occasional accidents and that's why schools require a change of clothes on hand for every kid. However, I do thing 3 a day is excessive. I agree with you that she's probably freaked out by now. You're going to have to start building her confidence. It probably didn't help to read her the riot act - I'm sure you don't realize how many kids pee, poop and throw up in school! It could be some regression around the new baby, but it could also be that she has a total change in routine, has a lot of activities/distractions, doesn't always know where the bathroom is compared to her location in the class or playground (some kindergartens have one attached to the room, most have something down the hall), and she doesn't have her mom reminding her all the time. The teacher can be a great asset here but the child has to be told TO GO rather than asked if she HAS TO, you know? It may help if 2 kids go together, so find out from the teacher if your daughter has a pal she would feel comfortable around (if your daughter has major privacy concerns, then a bathroom buddy won't work even if there are separate stalls).

Do you know if she is ever actually going into the bathroom? Is she unsure of where it is or is she nervous about it? For some kids, just not knowing where the light switch is makes it scary. If she is not actually able to relax enough to fully void and empty her bladder, she may be fuller than you think. Does she have too many juice boxes in her lunch box? Too much apple juice used to send all the kids in my school to the bathroom for peeing as well as pooping. So dilute it, or give her plain water to drink. Is there a water fountain in the classroom that is fascinating her? I hate to suggest that a child not drink water, but if she's intoxicated by the novelty of a kiddie-sized fountain, she could be visiting it a lot. It's not the entire problem but it could be a factor.

Yes, you can put her in a pull-up, one of the nighttime garments for kids her age and older, or an adult garment if you don't think it will be huge and bulky on her. I'm not sure of her body type. It has to be easy to pull down though, so she can pee in the toilet and not rely on the garment.

If you think a reminder watch will work, that's one possible solution. But if she can't go when it goes off because it's the middle of circle time or during recess, it may get in the way and prevent her from listening to her body. Do work with the teacher to figure out the best times to set it for.

Our kindergarten teachers never found it helpful to yell at kids and tell them that it's not okay to do X or Y in kindergarten - sometimes kids rebel at that and feel unready for the challenges of school. If it's a really big class of kids (20+), there's just so much going on. They're learning to line up, for example - one of my K teacher friends puts a strip of tape on the floor because something as simple as "line up" is lost of 75% of the kids. They're learning their way through the building, learning names, learning routines, learning to transition from one activity to the next, watching some kids get "in trouble" for running off or not waiting their turn to talk, and so on. Find out from the teacher if there is a sticker system or other reward system, and see if "using the potty" can be a bonus thing for your daughter for the next few weeks. Not all year, but until she gets this under control. Teachers have a lot to handle with a ton of kids and too little help, but they are also experienced at problems likes your daughter's.

My son was the youngest kid in his kindergarten class last year, and never had an accident. However, I volunteered at school and a couple of other kids did. I found it unfortunate that they didn't request a change of clothes to be kept at school for K like they did for PreK.

I'm going to go against the others and say accidents in Kindergarten is not the norm. My school does not ask/require for the students to bring extra underwear and pants. I help out in the classrooms a lot and I've never seen nor heard of child having an accident. It definitely wouldn't be ok if she had continuous accidents in terms of peer acceptance. I'm in my 30's and I still remember the classmate who peed in his pants in 1st grade.

Possible solutions: the depends thing is great idea until you know it's under control.

There could be other issues besides UTI (kidney reflux, weak bladder, general age incontinence). My daughter (6 years old) leaks, quite a lot. She never had a full accident that her pants were soaked, but she would smell like pee and her underwear were always damp. I took her to a urologist and she's now on medicine to stop that until she ages a little more and her bladder muscles get a little stronger. Maybe try seeing a pediatric urologist to make sure there isn't something deeper going on.

why would you get adult depends for her when you can just get pull ups? no one would know except your daughter unless she told. but yes it happens. and I am 53 and can tell you the names of the kids in my first grade class who wet themselves. so people remember.

poor kiddo. the fact that she's crying says she can't help it. or at least she doesn't think she can, which amounts to the same thing.

to answer your question it's not unheard of. my son wet himself a few times in kindergarten, and even once or twice in first grade. Don't tell him I told you but he's almost 9 now and he still wears protection at night because of frequent accidents.

I would suggest the pull up - but I wouldn't suggest adult diapers. They have pullups in her size - if my (big for his age) 9 year old can wear them, she can I'm sure (at least I know there are nighttime ones that big, so maybe that's what you can get). and then once she's wearing them, try not to mention it again. she obviously does feel bad. once she knows you're helping her and on her side she'll feel better and maybe that will give her the confidence she needs to get past it. the stress is probably making it worse (not to make you feel worse, I know you realized that making her feel bad backfired on you...) hang in there mama!

I sub kinder at my kids school. All children have an extra set of clothes. If they have an accident...and in four years I have only had one child have one. You quietly with no fuss pull out their spare pair and send them to the nurse.

They come back to class and slip their wet clothes in their backpack in a sealed ziploc (which is what the spare clothes are stored in) and go right back to whatever activity they are doing.

No big deal. I called the office to let them know we needed a clean up (it was on the reading rug). Janitor came in and asked what time we left to go to recess. Came in and cleaned it while we were gone. I just kept the kids at their tables working until then.

I don't think any other child even knew what was going on and if they did they didn't say anything.

It happens...but not often...if it does they will calmly and quietly take care of it.

Tell her that it is okay, she will be okay, and if it happens the teacher will help her.

My third son just started K and none of my kids ever had an accident. I'm sure they happen, though. I know the teacher takes them to the restroom several times a day--especially during the first few weeks. Talk to the teacher. Let her know the situation. Also, if you think it's going to happen, leave a change of clothes in the nurse's office. That way she'll have her own clothes to put on if she has an accident.