Filing Divorce/seperated...close Family Member

Speaking as the one goig through the divorce - don't sensor.

If she's a good friend, she wants to hear about your problems as much as she wants to tell you hers. Sometimes she just wants things to be "normal" and that includes hearing about the annoying things your husband does.

Even hearing you ask this question could make her feel horribly guilty (I'm thinking of my own BFF now and wondering if she feels the same way).

Be there as a sounding board for her. Tell her you're there if she needs to talk, but don't be surprised if she doesn't want to.

I'm sorry that your close family member is going through this. I know about 4 other couples going through this.

Depending on your "own" relationship with her..it sounds like you two can talk about anything and everything. You know her better than any of us. When I was going through some rough times ..especially my own divorce...it would be nice sometimes to talk to my close friends about their own problems or anything else besides mine. I don't know why though. I guess sometimes it would make me feel as though I wasn't the only person going through some marriage issues. I'm pretty sure you, yourself would know what NOT to talk about with her. You being easily accessible to her...is a lot. I'm sure that means a lot to her..even though you're far away from each other. I'm sure you just "being there" through the phone means a lot to her.

Filter what you say to her. It's a very sensitive time. I don't think you have to worry about sharing a rough day with your hubby but avoid the repetitive use of the words "my husband" when telling your stories. Just say John really irked me today as if you're just talking about a person, not an institution. I've been in her place before and the things that hurt are things that remind you that you are no longer one half of a couple. Somebody idling venting about their husband isn't a problem. Talking about what you're doing for your 20th wedding anniversary is a problem. I'm glad you are there to support her.

I think at first it's smart to filter your conversation, but honestly, she KNOWS you're still married. You shouldn't have to change the way things are.

I would probably send her a movie in the mail, or maybe a care package just to let her know you're caring about her. :) it sounds like you're doing a great job being there for her.

She's going through a hard time right and and she's grieving a loss. Just give her some time before you "vent" about your stuff. Just be there for her for now. Eventually, you'll be able to be more yourself and can vent also along with her. I think being a shoulder to lean on is the best thing you can do for her. Also, pray for her every day. I wish you the best!

I would filter what you say. There are a lot of break up's going on lately! What I would do is listen.
I do ask to see if they've seeked counseling before they've come to their decision. Then if they say no, I suggest that it would be a good idea. Then after that I just try to be support whether it is both of them speaking to me or just one person. I've just recently had both a male and female calling me telling me they are ending their relationship. It was interesting because I'm hearing both sides, only one wants to seek counseling. What can you do or say? Like I said, just be supportive and listen to her.

You will be able to express yourself later and probably find out that what you are going through is not as life changing as her situation is.

Be encouraged.