Okay, some fighting is to be expected. Yet there should be more positive feelings than negative, and you should help encourage this as best as you can. I myself have an older sister, she is 20 months older than me, and we had tons of fighting growing up, and even now at ages 29 and 30 we still aren't as close as I would like to be. Soooo, I feel the younger daughter's pain!!! =) But the great thing is that you are seeing this problem and trying to resolve it. My parents never did anything. They just stood back and let my sister pick on me. I think there could be a number of things going on. Since I don't know you, please don't take any of this personally - these are just things that come to mind. Maybe I will hit it right on the head but maybe I'll miss a little bit. Nonetheless, this is what I think: The number one reason siblings fight is out of desire for a parent's complete attention. So, maybe your daughter is jealous of her younger sister. After all, she was an only child for 3 years and may resent her sister for taking that away. You should try to spend time with each of your daughters alone. Set a day each week to do something just you and each daughter, something they would like. It doesn't have to be a long drawn out thing... just an hour for the two of you can make them feel special. You and your husband can take turns doing this. (I'm just assuming your married because it doesn't say.) Kids also pick on each other out of boredom. If there is a lot of uproar about nothing, chances are they are just bored. Turn off the TV and give them work to do, or get them involved in an activity. The worst thing you can do is try to referee, or find out who's at fault. Even if you know it's your oldest, she'll think you're not fair, and the youngest may say, "see, mom loves me best." You have to teach them how to negotiate and work out their differences. You can set them both in a timeout and tell them they can't get up until they can come to agreement. I heard once of a mother who always made her children hug and tell each other they love them. You can try to teach them that sisters love each other and stick up for each other, not put each other down or call names. My guess is that your daughter is feeling jelous of her younger sister for some reason. It's not so important to find out why, because there may not be anything you can do about it anyway... for instance maybe she thinks she's prettier, smarter, etc. So just try your best to make each of them feel special so that neither gets jealous of the other. Best wishes, J.