T.,
Wouldn't life be so much easier if we really could map it all out and have everything go as planned? Easier I suppose, but probably not quite as interesting!
Speaking from experience (3 in-utero fertilizations and 3 in-vitros later) we have an amazing little girl who is almost a year.
The first thing that I can say is to make sure that you have COMPLETE confidence in your doctor. We had a doctor in Pennsylvania (where we did the IUI) and then we moved here to LA and it was a complete world of difference.
Secondly, listen to your gut (although with a 13 and 7 year old, I'm sure you already know the value of that!)
Thirdly, a vaginal ultrasound doesn't hurt AT ALL. In fact, it doesn't compare in the least to an annual exam. They simply use a wand and insert it like they would a speculum but they don't crank anything open and it isn't hanging free!
Also, before we had any info. about our situation, I had a procedure called a histosalpingogram. This is when they run a red dye through your tubes to make sure there is no blockage. Perhaps ask your doc. about that as well.
In the meantime, I totally get the prayer thing. Having delivered twins at 23.5 weeks and losing them that same day, it helped to remind me that we are not in control of anything. There is a greater plan for us and we can only pray for the strength to accept what happens.
Good luck and definitely do a google search for other websites like this one that deal where you can "talk" with other moms about fertility issues. I found a TON of info. from talking with other moms who were in the same boat. What questions should you ask your doctor, are there other options, etc...
If you are looking for a new fertility practice, perhaps check out Reproductive Partners. I cannot speak highly enough about them! An excellent reputation, excellent success record, world renowned doctors. There are offices in Beverly Hills, Redondo Beach and some other places...
Good Luck!
K.