Feeling Used by Neighbor Dropping off Child

Set aside two days a week for play days. On those two days Davey, or anyone else, can come over and play. Tell her you are trying to get your daughter on a schedule so that she knows the days you go to visit friends and family and days she can have visitors, this way you avoid fits. Before you go on a walk invite Davey and an adult to come along. Tell them at that time that you would like Davey to come, but with the baby and your own three year old you would like an extra set of hands and eyes if he is coming with you. If no one is willing to go just say, "Oh, that's too bad. Maybe next time." The key is to be proactive and address the situations before they come up and you have to say no.

I have had this happen to me several times. I don't think that the other person thinks they are imposing. I had my 2 year old, my 4 year old, and a 6 ,11, 12, and 14 year old at my house last summer. My neighbor would bring his 5 year old daughter down and go well I have some work to do at this persons house can she just stay with you? I would always say yes, but I felt like I was being taken advantage of. I ended up telling him that I couldn't keep her because I didn't have enough room in the car for every one and I didn't feel comfortable in case anything happened. I agree with one of the other posts that you should just tell her that with your kids you don't have enough hands. Good luck

Well I feel for you. I know you dont want problems with your neighbors. You can do the rude thing. Pull the car in the garage and when they come over dont answer. If she sees you out and says she came by tell her you didn't hear or you were spending time with your child. You could also set time aside for play and that is all. If hey come over explain that this is not a good time maybe later and give a time to come back and see then that way you are not giving an answer of "yes". As for the walk you will have to be stern. WOW, never in my life have I heard of such boldness. When or if that happens again I would let her know your irritation and state, "well we are talking about something very important and now is not a good time maybe later you and I and the kids can go for a walk." If she should ever get the hint and ask what is going on always be truthful. Let her know you value your friendship but you feel taken advantage of. Good luck.

Hi J. well first off it doesnt seem like a very good neighborly relationship...hmm I would agree with the other poster set aside a time and stick to it. I would also try and deal with it before it has a chance to happen. I would also just tell her too maybe she thinks you dont mind. When I lived in an apartment complexe with my girls before I got married anytime we went out side TONS of kids would crouwd us and want to play too...well I just told them we were having "family time" and they could play with the kids later or next time....( i never really let my kids out by them selves though) but family time is important and who wants to impose on that ...Good luck please let us know what happens

My mom was in the same situation. I lived with him with my son until he was two. She watched the neighbors during the day, but when the parents got home and came to pick them up they wouldn't really go home!!! Their mom would take them home, and then when my dad got home, she would send him back over with a "beer for Jerry". (Yes, she would send her 3 year old out the door with a beer for my dad just so she had a reason to be sending him back to our house!) If we were working in the yard on the weekends, out the mom and two kids would come. She would stand and talk for 10 minutes, ask if we could "keep an eye on the kids while she checked on dinner" and not return for another 45 minutes! Talk about a FULL TIME babysitting job.
Learning to say no is a big thing. If she calls and ask if they can come visit simply say "No, not today....we have plans for just the three of us...my son's not feeling like having a friend today...we are walking to calm our temper, so it's a bad time for friends" It's not really "ground rules" to hurt the neighbor but it's enough to get your own space. Best of luck...great neighbors are nice...most the time ;)