Feeling Guilty for Going to Work...

There's nothing the matter with you. You have a very young child at home and you feel the completely natural and appropriate desire to be with your baby as much as possible. You have to find the balance that feels best for you and then let go of any negative feelings that do not increase your joy, like guilt. Sometimes, however, these uncomfortable feelings urge us to reexamine our lives and priorities to decide what is really best for us now, not what we thought would be best before we had a baby. I had lots of plans and ideas about my life before I had children that I slowly released and revamped. You are a very new mom so you are finding your way. Just tune in to your deepest feelings and intuitions and do what you need to do now for you and your family. Best wishes.

Don't feel bad for feeling so connected to your son. You just spent 10 months growing this baby, and he's only been out for four. It's okay to do things for ourselves, and I'm sure your work might provide a different set of interests and distractions from the all-day/everyday world of infant care. While you might feel guilty now, just remember that having this time outside of your home and this part of your life may become very important to your feeling good as a mom, especially as your child gets older and wants more of your attention.

Many women feel differently about working/staying at home, and there is just no 'right' way to feel about it. One book that might help is called "The Wall Between Women", and is about the SAHM/Working Mom dichotomy. It will help you realize that everyone has good reasons for staying home or working, and that while many women simultaneously know that their own decision was best for them, there is a lot of 'the grass is greener/easier over there' sort of thinking.

Part of this, too, will be alleiviated by continuing to do your work, continuing to see that your dad and husband are both great with your son, and that he's developing good trust relationships with both of them. So many dads and grandparents don't get this sort of opportunity. By trusting them and leaving, you are giving them the gift of developing these bonds. It's a beautiful thing.

We're wired to be the mommies, so even though we have help and enjoy what we do, the guilt is still there. Try to be more gentle with yourself and enjoy the time you spend with him. Sounds like you have a really good balance. :)

Your feelings are totally natural and good. Mothers are made to be with their babies.

I think that your feelings are all part of being a good and caring mother. I'm a stay at home mom, I have horrible anxieties about leaving my 6 mo old baby with dad or grandparents for anything, but there are times when its necessary. I feel very possessive of my baby because I feel that he is ultimately my responsibility. I don't think there is anything the matter with you for how you feel. I can't imagine that it is easy for you to be away from your baby, but you are lucky to have such a great support system and they are probably grateful for the time they get to spend with baby too.

Dear Y., It is so normal to feel guilty and to want to stay with baby all the time...Grandma Mary