Feeling Guilty - Buffalo,NY

Oh my gosh, I remember this like yesterday, twenty something years ago. I was sooo pregnant and my older child wanted to go out. I walked him to the park ready to just collapse half the time. I don't know where you live, but if you want to just pick up a little chair and sit out, do that, and if you can't oh don't feel guilty, my older son remembers nothing at all about any of this. I was the only one that felt terrible.

Can you get a teen (or pre-teen) as a "mother's Helper" to help you out with this? She could be gaining some valuable experience toward babysitting, and give you a break to stay out of the heat......

Get a kiddie pool and a maternity swimsuit. An afternoon in the kiddie pool will be fun for both of you.

The heat has started to bother me the past few years. I find if I take washclothes, wet them, wring them out, and place in freezer, take out when the heat is bad and rub on my arms, legs and neck it helps a lot. It helps to take down the swelling if you place them on your feet until they get warm, then pop back into the freezer.

A woman on my street who had 4 kids had the same problems as you - honestly, she put a kiddie pool out in the yard and sat in it herself! Put the funnels and colanders with in there and let her play with stuff, making waterfalls and so on. Put out a sprinkler and have both of you get wet! Go to a pond or lake and put your beach chair right in the water, and sit while she plays in the shallow water.

School's out, so maybe you can hire a mother's helper for a few hours every day - a 10 or 11 year old is mature enough to supervise a 3 year old while you are home for any major emergency, and has the energy to run around or take a nature walk (take a bucket and have them collect something interesting like rocks and leaves. Then bring the rocks home, wash them, and paint them as paperweights or decorations - put them on the porch or as a border around the mailbox, or give to relatives at the holidays - no kidding!)

Try not to feel guilty - I know it's hard. But you're more tired during this pregnancy because this time you have a child to care for during the day! But this is good practice for not having the flexibility to be with your older child all the time. Let her get used to being care for or entertained by someone else, and it may even make the adjustment easier when the baby comes.

Good luck!

Ask any dermatologist and she would say to keep your daughter OUT of the sun, between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m...so ditch the guilt!

One thing I did with my active preschooler when I was pregnant (and nauseated) in the summer, was explore all the parks in our area. I found some gems we'd never played at, and made a note of what time of day the best ones were in full shade. I also found (an air conditioned) toy store with lots of displays and even an indoor slide.

Good luck!

Join a pool. You will not be the only pregnant woman there😊

ETA: Sorry - I should have said - when I was pregnant with my youngest one - I LIVED at the pool!

Maria:

When my youngest son was born - I LIVED at the pool. My house could NOT be cold enough!!! Go to the pool!!

Hire a baby sitter or mother's helper to come in and help with her. Check with your local college or university - there might be students with early childhood development majors looking for extra cash...

good luck! Congratulations on the newest addition!!

I'd get a large kiddie pool, fill it up and drop myself in it. Ahhhhh.... Congrats on baby 2.

I'd get a little pool and sit in that sucker while she plays. She might want to join you in the poll, so make sure it's big enough for both!!

Do you have a teenager in your neighborhood who you could pay to take her to the park a few times a week?

I'm 29 weeks along right now and am also struggling with the swelling and heat, and I have 3 active boys who need to get out. It is getting more and more difficult, and my neighbor's college age daughter told me she'd take the kids to the park if I wanted her to.

Can your family buy a canopy of some sort, just to make some shade? You could sit under that, even if it's in the driveway. Turn on a sprinkler for your little girl, not too high, and give her some containers to collect water in. Believe me, I've sat while kids have played at this for an hour or more. It's worth the water bill. Make sure the water doesn't pool against the house, so erect any kind of cover in a space that will offer the water a way to run down away from the house. If you get bad sun, you can always clothespin a sheet to one side of the canopy. Have your husband help you get creative and set something up which can stay up, if possible.

If you have a second hose/tap, you can set up a personal mister. (Not a handsome young man, as it sounds like it should be, but a device you put on the hose to make a mist in a smaller area) They're about $15 and worth every penny. It's great to get a cheap magazine (the wet will trash it) and sit in the shade with the mister in the heat.

If you have a home with a yard can't she play outside by herself? Can't you sit by the window and keep an eye on her? You don't have to be her personal play mate correct?

I know outside is better, bla bla bla, but that's why I have a play gym membership! For rainy days and hot days. I don't rely on it so much now that I have my own yard (ps can you do a sprinkler?) but when I was in a tiny apartment that was how I made sure my toddler got exercise in any weather.

How old is your daughter? Do you have a fence? When my second son was born my older son had just turned three. He would play in his sandbox in the back yard while I nursed the baby inside. I just kept the window open so I could hear him. We also spent lots of time at the public wading pool where we could cool off when we got overheated.

Do you have a membership to a children's museum or other indoor play areas? Our recreation center has a big playground indoors with slides, etc. Also you could go to a McDonalds playplace or something like that.

I had the same problem when I was 8 months pregnant and my daughter was 2.5 years old. I got a mother's helper (17 year old girl in my development) to come 3x a week for 2 hours to take my daughter to the park, play games in the backyard, and even give her a bath afterwards. This cost me $40 a week and my daughter loved her new "friend". I got to rest and put my feet up and it was wonderful. It's been 3 years and she is still my go to babysitter for both kids. I hope this helps. Good luck.

I have trouble with the heat too and I'm not pregnant. Right now the temperature is too hot for anyone to be out here. We're having a heat wave. I can understand you wanting to give your daughter some outside time. Outside time is very important for both you and your daughter, because that is how we get the best vitamin D in the world. You only need 15-20 min. outside/day to get enough of it. I follow what the farmers always did in the past when plowing and watering the fields. I go outside when it's cooler. That means either early morning or after super. The sun is "lower" in the sky after super, so it's not as hot and it makes really great family time. :) We're all outside after super. I kind of started it by accident, because I need the vitamin D. I go out and dig up rocks, pull weeds, or putter around. DH goes out and works in the flower beds. MIL goes out and works in the garden. DS goes out and takes macro shots. (pictures) Also, be sure to put a cold damp towel around the back of your neck and feet up with ice on your ankles. You can use one of those "bug cups" with the pretty designs to make you feel even better. ("Bug cup" - the new reusable plastic cups with the lids and straws they sell at various stores.)

Get a babysitter or friend to take her out.