Feel like You Suck at Being a Mom?

I know exactly how you feel. My son (almost 5) has had 4 dental visits thus far. The first 3 I went with him. He refused to cooperate even a little bit, hit, kicked, flailed, grabbed at tools and let out ear splitting screams as if possessed! I tried being nice and understanding, I tried letting him use my iPod, I tried discipline, I tried sitting in the waiting room ...but still no cooperation.
A couple days before his last appointment I threw out my back and was not up for dealing with it so I sent him with my husband. Guess what? He was a perfect angel - cooperated in every way.

I think we all have been there. Just know that some days just plain suck. Ironically, Mother's Day was my latest "I am a terrible mother" day. Just understand that your daughter loves and trusts you, that's why she knows she can carry on this way and you won't abandon her. My advice? Leave baby with daddy for a day and get some you time! Let's see how happy they both are when you get home. Don't be afraid to put daddy in his place either. My husband knows that if he complains with how I do something, it automatically becomes HIS responsibility. So he just keeps his mouth shut most of the time. LOL

Some days we all suck and some days we rock it!

I would just suggest that you and your husband try to get on the same page regarding your expectations for eachother and for your daughter.
- If you are "trying" to wean her from the bottle, then throw them out. All of them so that neither of you can rely on them.
- If you are having a hard time packing the diaper bag, keep one "ready to go" at all times, meaning that when you use something or take something out, replace it as soon as you get home. I used to do this all the time and my husband would comment (until I left him alone with the baby overnight b/c I had to travel for work). I had large ziploc bags with labels that literally said "5 DIAPERS AND WIPES", "SPARE OUTFIT", "BINKY/TOY/BLANKET" and got into the habit of checking the ziplocs before I left the house.

**If you are stressed, she will be stressed. Stressed babies cry. Try to relax and don't give up on what you are trying to do with her. You'll get through it, but you two need to work together.**

I feel like that every day and my kids are 22 and 18!! Being a mom is the best worst job ever! It can be so rewarding and make you feel so stupid at the same time. These little people should really come with instructions! She loves you don't ever doubt that for a minute.

As for hubby, yeah, brilliant! I love it when my husband tries to tell about things in my life when I was a kid. Oh, hello, he wasn't there!!! I just tell mine "oh yes, you just know everything"! Try sarcasm. Works everytime.

Take a deep breath, and release. It will get better. Just remember, when they are teenagers they will say "I hate you", or my personal favorite, "You are the worse mother in the world". That is always a crowd pleaser! :)

Try to relax - keep in mind that what babies need is love. As long as you love her, the rest WILL fall into place. Ask your husband not to be so hard on you, that you're trying your best. Don't let him compare you to other moms - and don't do that yourself, either. A lot of moms can look like they have everything together when just being viewed in a snapshot - you're not seeing the moment she loses it later that day. That being said, try to avoid saying things to him like "Well I guess you took the easy way out." That's not going to help. That puts him on the defensive, then anything you do is going to be criticized - when really he's probably just offended by what you said.

Try to take some time just your baby and you and spend a few afternoons together. Go spread out a blanket in the park and just hang out. Get to know each other on relaxed, fun terms when you're not stressed out. It's HARD to have a new baby - not everyone just bonds instantly. Babies are always going to give their mothers the hardest time - that's why we get the most credit later. :) Just hang in there. LOVE her. LOVE her. LOVE her. And keep her safe and fed. That's your only job. If your husband continues to act badly, you'll have to deal with that separately. But believe in yourself, give yourself a break, and don't treat him like an idiot either. I bet you things get better.

And as for me personally, if I had had my daughter first, I would likely have felt like the worst mother in the world. She's SO difficult!! And so wonderful, and beautiful and funny too. But MAN can she be a bear when she doesn't get her way or is overtired - my son was so easygoing that this was all new to me. So it sounds like you had my baby girl first - hang in there, you have a smart sassy girl!

You are a good Mom! The first year and the first baby are the HARDEST time! You never know if you are doing the right thing, it is all trial and error. What makes your hubby think he is so good at it? Has he had kids before? I am sorry he makes you feel inadequite (sp?) Continue to do what she needs, diapers, bottles, food, bath and love! It will get better! Just don't give up.
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!
D.

This sounds so much like my daughter. But the kicker is that I have a son who was totally different. I felt like an awesome mom with my son, but I've worked with kids for enough years that I knew he was just an easy baby. When people complimented me, I said he just makes me look good. They laughed it off, but I was serious. Then I had my daughter. I parent her pretty much the same way I did my son, but she gives me a run for my money! The worst part about it is that she doesn't do it for others. She screams at me, but is all sweet for her dad. She tantrums when I try to brush her teeth and lets my mom do it without a whimper. She bites and hits me, but her daycare provider says she's one of the best children there. It has been a huge blow to my parenting ego. But, she also is excited and comes running to the door when I get home. She says "love you mommy" to me and gives me hugs. I know she loves me, she just also feels extremely comfortable with being really challenging with me. So, yes, I totally feel like I'm a terrible mom, but only with her. So, I've accepted that she has a somewhat difficult temperament and that there's just not a good fit between our temperament (my husband says we're too much a like--don't know if that's it). But, it is getting a little bit better as she's getting better at communicating. The kicker is that my husband struggles with our son and is absolutely loving parenting our daughter who makes me nuts despite the fact that I have many years experience working with kids. It just seems to be about temperament/personality. So, please don't beat yourself up--it likely isn't really you.

Your husband is underminding everything you do. You are fine he's an emotional abuser.
Get into counseling and start to stand up for yourself.

Hey, i've heard it gets better. Teens just adore their parents right? ; ) No seriously, You're doing fine. Don't always let hubby take over. You have to develop your parenting and discipline style. Make sure to be a more united front with him so kiddo knows that one parent won't just give in each time.

wow - take a deep breath. You sound like every other mother I have ever met - don't be so hard on yourself!! it sounds like your baby is 1ish - which is a very hard age - they want to be independent but really can't be left alone - which means you spend a lot of time chasing. this is also the time they realize they can manipulate you - which is what she's doing with the food, crying, etc - she's figured out how it's going to make you react!

As for your hubby - sounds like he thinks quite a bit of himself - and if i was you - I'd let him 'help' all he wants. don't take it as a dis against your parenting - he is just as much a parent as you - and therefore should be helping you - thought the snotty attitude isn't necessary.

if you have a some time today take a few minutes for yourself (mani,pedi, 30 minutes to read your fav book) and unwind. You sound tired and stressed.

Hang in there - parenting is a long hard road full of ups and downs - no one gets it perfect despite what people want you to believe. Keep doing your best and it will be fine...

wow - take a deep breath. You sound like every other mother I have ever met - don't be so hard on yourself!! it sounds like your baby is 1ish - which is a very hard age - they want to be independent but really can't be left alone - which means you spend a lot of time chasing. this is also the time they realize they can manipulate you - which is what she's doing with the food, crying, etc - she's figured out how it's going to make you react!

As for your hubby - sounds like he thinks quite a bit of himself - and if i was you - I'd let him 'help' all he wants. don't take it as a dis against your parenting - he is just as much a parent as you - and therefore should be helping you - thought the snotty attitude isn't necessary.

if you have a some time today take a few minutes for yourself (mani,pedi, 30 minutes to read your fav book) and unwind. You sound tired and stressed.

Hang in there - parenting is a long hard road full of ups and downs - no one gets it perfect despite what people want you to believe. Keep doing your best and it will be fine...

You are a good Mom! The first year and the first baby are the HARDEST time! You never know if you are doing the right thing, it is all trial and error. What makes your hubby think he is so good at it? Has he had kids before? I am sorry he makes you feel inadequite (sp?) Continue to do what she needs, diapers, bottles, food, bath and love! It will get better! Just don't give up.
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!
D.

Hey, i've heard it gets better. Teens just adore their parents right? ; ) No seriously, You're doing fine. Don't always let hubby take over. You have to develop your parenting and discipline style. Make sure to be a more united front with him so kiddo knows that one parent won't just give in each time.

Pls don't think for a second that your not a good mom! Don't let your husband or anyone else lead you to believe that either. Having chidren isn't easy at all. I feel that there is no book, or article that can tell you anything about your child. All children are different. Just keep doing your best. Sure, you will have good days and bad days, but as long as you gove each day your all, your doing great! Have a good day! :)

Firstly, you love your baby, you're trying your best so you DO NOT SUCK. Motherhood is hard hard hard - that's why babies are so darn cute! I promise you it get's better and you'll find your way out of this funk. You are not alone. Have a look at this article: http://theycallmemummy.com/2012/06/20/you-suck

Take care, and stop bashing yourself!

I feel this way especially when I am tired and run down. Also, I had to put my foot down with my husband and his "comments" that were undermining my confidence. Plus, we limit our time with crazy, overbearing people who offer advice. Hang in there.

I feel like I suck at being a mom at least a few times a day! But I know I love my children and I'm trying as hard as I can... I'm sure it's the same for you. Try not to be so hard on yourself (I know that's hard)! As long as they are safe and happy (for the most part) then we're doing ok :-)

Hey, i've heard it gets better. Teens just adore their parents right? ; ) No seriously, You're doing fine. Don't always let hubby take over. You have to develop your parenting and discipline style. Make sure to be a more united front with him so kiddo knows that one parent won't just give in each time.