So, last night all the kids were playing outside and the one neighbor mom invited my children and I to her home for dinner (she knows my husband works out of town). Anyways, my kids were standing there when she invited us and were super excited and I said Yes mainly b/c they wanted to go. Anyways, about 5:30 she went home to start dinner and our other neighbor was out with her kids and so my kids started playing with them. Well with the kids playing just got side tract with time and so I text the lady who invited us and let her I know I had not forgotten but kids had just got busy playing and I lost tract of time. She said no problem and see you in a bit. Then the kids got themselves sitting in an ant community and were covered from head to toe with ants (no exageration). So I called her and I said I was really sorry but that I wouldn't be to dinner on time b/c I now had to give the kids a bath to rid them of ants (my daughter is already covered head to toe with poison ivy and my son has very sensitive skin so I just felt more comfortable rinsing them and making sure all the ants were gone). Anyways, she said no problem and that was that. After the kids bath it was about 7 pm at that time and so I text her again apologizing and wanted to see if she was coming back out in the evening to play anymore and she declined saying her daughter needed a bath and was going to watch a movie. She did invite us over for the movie, but at 7 I wasn't really up for that and was pretty tired myself (I am 17 weeks pregnant.) So, I just feel awful.... we are neighbors so I don't want her to think I just bailed, I mean I did, but it wasn't intentional. How can I make things better, or should I just let it be? She had her sister and mom and neices and nephews over so she didn't plan a special evening just for us, she had just invited us b/c she knew she already had company coming over. So, like I said, do I leave it as is, or should I bring it up again?
thanks!
I would invite her family over for a nice dinner to apologize for the extra cooking and food that went to waste.
If you feel really bad, invite them over to dinner in return. It will reaffirm that it was nothing personal and that you'd still like to meet up with them.
Well, some days are just like that, right?
It does sound like you sort of put your nice neighbor on the spot, but sometimes things just happen! If it were me, I would get her some little thing- a Starbucks latte or just some cookies you baked, etc. and take it over and apologize IN PERSON- that will make all the difference.
Just explain the series of events exactly like you did above and tell her you feel bad about 'standing her up' and just want her to know how much you appreciate her offer of dinner and her as a neighbor! Then plan to meet again to cook out or something (you could both make something) and just be sure this time you don't get distracted and that your kids are ready on time!
Most importantly, make the apology sincerely and in person. That is the polite thing to do IMO.
I don't think you have anything to worry about. She's a mom just like you and she knows crazy things come up. Maybe invite her to your house for dinner. If your not up for that than just make sure you don't miss your plans next time.
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I agree with everyone that things happen and it isn't something that you should lose sleep over, but I do feel that an in-person apology is in order, just to make sure she knows you weren't blowing her off. I love the ease of texting, but some things require a real phone call so that the people involved can hear your voice. She may be upset, she may not, and you cant tell on a text. Since that was how you did all the communicating, I think going over there with cookies or a dinner invite or whatever you think is appropriate from the other suggestions is a good idea. It cant possibly hurt the situation, and if she is slightly peeved, it will definitely help. If this were me and I totally understood, I would still feel much better about it if you came over. And next time make sure you go right over and help her out with the dinner so she knows you value her friendship.
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I think you should apologize to her. Invite her over to reciprocate or something.
I'm sure she understands that things happen. But, you did accept an invitation.
I mean no offense whatsoever, but I personally think that instead of texting her to say you lost track of time and then the kids were covered with ants and then would she be coming back outside later, you probably just should have said it just wasn't going to work out for that night and maybe you could do it another time. That would have been the kind thing to do.
You knew she went home to start dinner at 5:30 and I know another neighbor came along and the kids were playing, but you accepted an invitation. And still she invited you for the movie, but by then you were too tired. By then, she had already prepared dinner and wanted to bathe her daughter and get her settled in.
I don't want you to feel awful and maybe it's just one of those things and she really doesn't mind, OR, she won't invite you anymore because maybe you'll get sidetracked or maybe you'll show up. She won't know.
My neighbors are very good to us. They invite us for every holiday, for every family bbq. We wouldn't think of accepting and then being across the street and coming up with a bunch of reasons why we'll be late or not show up. We just wouldn't do that to them. We have declined on many occasions if we were ill or going to see our own family for a gathering, but having them expect us and just not go, we wouldn't do that.
I know you're pregnant, juggling kids is hard, and things DO happen, but there's no need to string someone along if it looks like you just can't make it. That's all I'm saying.
I would invite her over or bake her something so you can have a visit and make sure no feelings are hurt.
Good neighbors really are hard to find and like I said, I'm just putting it in perspective of how I would treat my neighbors. We've known each other a long time and look out for each other all the time though.
Bake her a kid friendly cake or some cookies and take them to her and tell her you feel badly about how it went. Then, try to plan another get together and weed out any distractions if at all possible.
Best wishes to you.
I would tell her again how much it meant to you to be invited and explain you really wanted to come over. What with the hubby out of town allot you need adult company and invite her crew over for a picnic lunch or movie and pop corn one evening. Something casual. After all she also has children so I am sure she does understand how those things happen.
Oh gosh, well those things were unexpected... and innocent.
Sure she made dinner... but things happen.
Maybe, make her some cookies... and bring it over to her just as a super nice "apology."
But beyond that... its fine.
She seems to understand.
And you weren't making up excuses.
I agree, invite them over yourself, so that she will know you were not avoiding her, it really was situational.
I wouldn't worry about it. She's a mom and she gets how things "just happen". This is a regular occurrence with our neighbors. You just kind of roll with it. Esp if she didn't have anything planned especially for you, I wouldn't stress about it.
If you feel the need, apologize again and set up another dinner in the coming days. Otherwise, I'd just let it go.
