Feedback About Child Support

The judge will decide the amount based on the chief wage earner's salary. The couple will have no say in the matter.

Hi S.,

I am not a lawyer; however, I do have my paralegal degree with an emphasis in family law. Texas has child support guidelines that they use as a standard. However, they may deviate from the standard under certain and/or special circumstances. For example, the amount of time the child is in the care of each parent, whether a parent is caring for another child (even if not from the same relationship), income of one party vs. the other, etc. So since she works but makes considerably less then he does, the court will weigh all these factors to determine the appropriate amount of child support. There are quite a few factors for the court to consider. However, from my personal experience, the court will order child support sufficient to (1) care for the child and (2) to help maintain a reasonable standard of living in an effort to keep a sense of normalcy for the child.

There are numerous resources for a vast amount of information regarding the issue. Here are a few I would suggest you have your friend look into.

http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/texas-child-support.html

http://childsupport.oag.state.tx.us/

The 2nd one is the Texas Office of The Attorney General. If she would like a support order prior to the finalization of the divorce and without the expense of an attorney, she can use the OAG's office to help establish one at no cost to her. If they cannot agree on an amount, as determined by state guidelines, (they'll hold a mediation between the parties at their office in an effort to come to an agreed amount & obtain voluntary signatures to be filed with the court) the OAG will actually have an attorney represent her in court to establish the child support order.

I do hope this helps and best of luck to your friend! She's blessed to have a friend like you who is so willing to help her through this tough time.

J. F.
Helping Moms Work From Home
http://www.4MeAndMom.com

You received great advice.

Why does she want to do 50-50 versus Joint custody with her being the primary parent?
One thing she needs to know in joint custody with one parent being named the primary, the other parent really does have rights to the child almost half the time. So if she is trying to be fair to her ex, regarding visitation rights, she WILL be with a joint custody agreement.

I have joint custody of my daughter and I am the primary parent in the divorce settlement but my ex has rights to see my daughter as much as I do. When you look at the standard schedule that is made up for visitation, I really only have her maybe 5 days more a month than him.

My point is that if she is trying to be fair to her ex by giving him equal time with her child, she can still do that by doing a joint custody with her being the primary parent but it will be to her advantage. She will have additional rights/benefits.

Also, my lawyers said the judges do NOT like when parents say they want to split 50-50 regarding the child. My lawyer told us "OK, Mom & Dad, well, buy a house for all 3 of you. On week one, Mom moves out. On week two, Dad moves out". Her point being that the parents should be the one switching houses every other week and not bouncing the kid around like a ping pong ball.

Also, my lawyer said the judges don't have to agree on the terms even if the couple does. If a judge thinks the wife is being low balled and being pressured into accepting a deal that isn't fair, the judge can ask for more support. But wouldn't wait until that point.

STick with her, she needs you and push her. She has to realize that this agreement if for many many years.

In the state of Texas child support is a based on percentages for the number of children that is being supported. You stated "if she goes that route". I plead that she does everything she can to get child support. Often, the party paying wants to negotiate. Only negotiate for a larger amount. I have friends that negotiated for a lower amount because of emotions. This is not a time to give favors or be nice. The child support goes towards supporting the needs of your child. (Housing, child care, utilities, cable, internet, fun, clothes, shoes, medical, school supplies, etc.) If you can prove that your child is accustomed to a certain lifestyle you possibly will get over the amount. (i.e. sports, riding lessons, piano) I would suggest they work out a college clause and increase the support for each child the month that they start public school. If they attend private school negotiate tuition. I did not negotiate the college end of things. Therefore, I expect to foot the bill for higher education. Your friend is expected to support her kids financially. This is not about making "him" pay. It is money for your kids to have stability and an equivalent standard of living. Also, make sure the child support is routed through the Attorney General. Some husbands just want a verbal agreement that they will pay "x" monies directly to the wife. Don't do that. The child support can be drafted from paychecks through the AG office. I wish you the best.

I don't know about the child support question but please encourage your friend to get competent representation. I've seen so many good women get raked over the coals and it's so hard & even more expensive to fix it after the fact. If it was me I'd be willing to take on debt just to make sure my kids got what they deserved child support wise as well as the best custody arrangement for them.

Your friend is going to need a lot of emotional support. This time is so difficult because you're so enraged at your ex-spouse but you have to come across as amenable for the kids. If she goes in with an "I'm gonna pin him to the wall!" attitude it will work against her in the whole process.

Best wishes.
D.

In most cases that I have worked, when I was a legal assistant, where the parents have 50/50 custody, there is no child support. I seriously think she should reconsider doing the 50/50 option anyway. Not because of the child support issue, but because of how it will effect the child/children. I don't know how many are involved, nor do I know their ages. However, most cases where parents do the 50/50 (it's normally 2 wks with one parent and 2 wks with the other)it really tears them up emotionally, and it messes with their social lives; especially if they live in seperate school zones. Doing 50/50 might sound fair (trust me I tried it), but in the long run it could only hurt the child. I'm glad to hear that they are trying to be civil and make agreements together. I think they just need to think about the long-term affects their choices might have on their little one(s).

hello S.....first off i have a friend that just went through the same situation with a divorce, and the 50/50 of the whole child arrangement.....not a real good thing to do, because her ex makes more money than her and she also works and makes decent money and works 2 jobs. they swap every week like she will have her daughter one week and then he will have her the next and it continues out like that, well by doing this she gets no child support. she says he "helps" her out if needed but that isn't quite often. as for me iam a single mom and get no child support and if i did i would not even consider "joint custody" is what they call it.....hope my info was helpful and i wish ur friend the best of luck

S., A friend of mine did his divorce that way and the kids stay one week with him and one week with her. He does have to pay child support but not much. His payment is only $95 a month because he makes more than her and has to suppliment her income. Both he and his ex like it but the kids hate it. The kids love both parents but it's hard going from one house to the next. Your friend might want to consider joint custody not because of the child support but because it will be better for the kids.

S.,

I was divorced 2 yrs ago. and I am in a joint custody (50/50). My lawyer told me that even though it was joint no judge would not sign off on a divorce unless the mother was getting something. Well being joint and we spend the same amount of time with our daughter I did not feel right taking the full amount, but you can get the full at 20% of his pay which is the normal amount. What about doing alamony? Don't get a lump sum though. Get payments just like child support. I hope this helps. You can do it, don't let it discourage you. I wish you the best.

First of all it is worth the money for your friend to find a really good attorney. It can be expensive at first, but in the long run she will save money.

My sister went through this exact situation with her divorce. Her ex makes much more than my sister does, he pays much more than 50 percent of all care. So he pays child support. That includes camps, daycare.. all types of things. My sister has great insurance, so she has them on her health insurance, but her husband pays for all meds and copay...

That said, things are not always easy. He wants her to pay half for all of their sports stuff and she cannot afford all of the "select spots" that they are in, so she has said they can do without. The ex wants them in all of that, so he pays, but sometimes gives her a hard time about it. She just goes back to the original divorce agreement that said, she would not have to pay for all of that.

The kids also go to a very expensive summer camp. My sister can only pay a small percentage, so as a family we help pay for some of that. Her husband once again insists that they need to attend, so my sister tells him to pay for it. It always end up with him sending her a demand letter and her having to contact her attorney to remind him this is not part of the divorce.

She needs to think it all out and be honest about what she can afford.. Also which child will each deduct from their taxes. My sister has the youngest so that she will be able to deduct for the longest. All of this has to be thought about.

She should also ask about alimony as well as child support.

Not a good idea. Women are always thinkig of the kids in a different way a man does. The ball game always changes when the man moves on and gets with someone else. Those promises they make are gone the agenda changes. With him making more money, more than likely this was his idea. She needs to get what she can now, because if there is a later it would just mean more lawyer and court fees. You also don't want kids split back and forth like that. One week here and one week there is not good. I had friends who did that, they are forced to live in the same district, the parents tryed to work hard keeping it calm but still the kids would have rather just stayed put. It's better for your friend to give herself more control than 50/50.

I see you have received lots of great advice, but I would like touch on one thing. In the state of Texas, child support and visitation are completely different matters. The judge will look at how makes the most money, and make decisions from there. If your friend is filing for the divorce on her own, they will need to decide what needs to be paid. If they are using lawyers, they will handle most of that. Good Luck to her.

helloo stacy since your children are small you and ask for supervation vistion 1. you can go with your children 2. for ask for organizion call kid share, with kid share you drop off your children 15min before visit and pick 15 after visit. this place has movies games ect..and the are mirror watching the visit with their father. vistion are 1st 3rd and 5th of every month,for about 2 hrs . also thank about writing down on the degree who gets the children during winter,spring breaks, summer vacation.also do want your children to stay with dad over the weekends( 1st 3rd and 5th off every month ) or make other arrangemets . child support is sometimes 20% for 1 child and goes up if you have more. divorce is hard for everyone (mom. dad and children) contact your local child support office for more info . hope this helps ! many blessing for your family and love