Legal Questions Regarding Custody Hearing

I have been out of town and just got this post - I would be shocked if he got custody of the baby. What ended up happening if you don't mind?
A.

p.s. My husband has an ex who is on the flaky side too - and has a mean streak so we understand the custody battle stuff...

It's unfortunate that I wasn't able to respond until the day of your trial. You need to read this:

http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fa.toc.htm

It's the Texas Family Statutes. It will tell you that he has to pay child support. It's based on combining your wages then using a formula to find a percentage.

I've been thru what you are going thru. His family paid for all of his legal fees, they tried to pay me off, etc. Being that your child is so young, there will more than likely give domicilary custody to you. Joint or sole custody doesn't really mean anything because every decision can be overturned. You are best to get a bulldog lawyer that will have a visitation agreement that is small at first then grows until your child is 8 or 9.

Read every statute that you can. The more knowledge you have, the stronger you'll feel. Then you won't let them bully you. There is a standard visitation agreement in the statues. From what I've heard, Texas doesn't play nice with bullies (I'm from La).

Again, I wish you would have sent this earlier, I could have been a better help. Please email me when you have a chance. I know how depressing this can be and I can give you insight. My email is ____@____.com Good luck

D.

S.,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I may be dealing with the same thing myself shortly. I don't know anything about the 50/50...although that's what my husband is saying he wants. I do know that child support is not negotiable. No judge will sign anything without having that in there. Look up on-line - as I'll be doing- to educate yourself on the laws of Texas. Good luck!!

Is it your former in-laws that want custody or your ex? If it's your in-laws, no judge would ever award custody unless you or your husband were unfit.
Do you have an attorney? You can simply find one in the yellow pages that is reasonable/or will work out a payment plan with you.
I believe that perhaps "think" that your ex/in-laws are trying to intimidate you - asking you not to collect child support -- and they will then not ask for custody? That is their stupidity - b/c they will never win. No judge will award them custody. Its possible that your husband can win 50/50 custody b/c he is the father -- but if that happens judge will likely only give him weekends - because judge will not want to disrupt child's home/weekly environment. Judge may also award him partial custody since you are in school as well -- thinking that would be better for him to be in parental/grandparental care while you are taking classes.

I have never been through a custody battle before but I just wanted to tell you to stay strong and do not back down! They are just trying to bully you. If he or his parents really cared about your child then they would be happy to pay some type of support.

Most likely he will get joint custody. However, he will still have to pay child support if he is not the primary care giver (Normally 15%- I think of his pay check). You have a huge advantage being the mother and you should have no problems getting the primary care giver role. Don't agree to everything you have rights too and the courts nearly always side with the mother. If you need any other advise email me: ____@____.com luck and I'm sorry this is happening to you I know how badly it feels my husband have been through all kinds of things with his ex.

Sorry i am very late. had the same problem 4yrs ago and i do understand how under presure you are at this moment. They are doing what is called litigation? they r trying to intimidate you so you agree on every condition they have in the final decree? Request an extention if is not too late. Don't talk to anybody about the case that know your ex to be. Get you a lawer. I don't recomend you the one i got cus is not a good one. His lawer may even tell you they will try to take your baby away. But is just that "words". as long as you are not in drugs, abusive, alcoholic etc. they won't be abel to do much. He is in the obligation to give you 50 of what it was yours and his. not counting what you had before you got meried. money? well make sure he does not clame he makes $7.00/hr cus you will end up getting about $300.00/month for child support.That was what my ex did. when he makes way more than that. visitation you can request for him to not be abel to take the baby away ntill the baby is 3yrs old if I am not wrong. make a copy of the baby's times give it to him to keep of meals time, how many wet dypers etc. That may solve the problem.(sorry for my speeling is not very good.)Let me tell you a little bit about my self. I am a pround mom of a 6yr old princess! I am a nanny for a 2 1/2 yr old boy for almost 2yrs now. adopted from Guatemala. Beautiful baby!

what has your lawyer told you?

This is probably not the best forum. Here are some message boards that will be more helpful:

http://www.divorcesource.com/ubbthreads/postlist.php?Cat=...

http://community.lawyers.com/messageboards/board.asp?chan...=

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psdivorce?redirCnt=1

My nephew is in the same situation. His mother does not want him, but she takes his father to court all of the time to make his life miserable. He is now 7 and the courts say that he has to spend 2 days a week with her and certain holidays. She takes him to school late and does not give him lunch either. The court says that she has a right to have him until he is 12. Then he can make up his own mind. She works in a bar and takes her kids up there to meet men. I am shocked by our court system. No one seems to look after the well being of the children. Good luck tomorrow!

My husband has a child with his first wife. He was told that he could fight for custody, but that the courts usually favor the mother. He will possibly get 50/50 joint custody, but not full. I would be very suprised if he was not ordered to pay child support.

Dear S.,

The advice that I will be giving you will be from my own experience. I got served with divorce papers last year in may and a restrain order as well. There was a hearing about that a week later, because a judge wanted to hear my side of the story. We got temporary orders on custody as 50/50 until the divorce which meant one week on one week off. Judges tend to do this temporary because they do not want to put any of the parents in disadvantage when it comes to the real custody decision.

My ex husband tried to get me to agree to 50/50! Dont! Not under any circumstances. There is NO judge out there that would rule on equal custody unless if the parties agree!!! But 50-50 is NOT the best interest of the child, its more like the best interest of the parent. I would suggest you go for joint custody, as you are appointed as the primary managing conservator. You both will be managing conservator but your child will stay with you and his primary residence will be with you. That is what I went for and that is what I got. Also you may ask the court that your ex gets "extended visitation" which is 1st, 3rd, 5th weekend from Thursday till Monday morning. IT is a little bit longer than standard but still better than 50-50! Go for primary you will all have the same right the only right you will have is to designate the child residence. Also one more good advice! Never badmouth your ex to the judge. Even is you dont have anything nice to say about him, just say he is a great father etc...which maybe he really is...badmouthing will lose your chances!

Good luck to you and feel free to ask me any questions you may have!

Bibi

his chances of getting 50/50 are excellent. The courts do not care about what he hasn't wanted in the past. They are happy that he seems to want it now. They will do everything to insure that both parents have equal access to the child. However, 50/50 custody does not always mean no child support. He will still be required to provide health care and some support especially for an infant.
You can ask for and probably get a free attorney that represents the baby called a guardian ad-litem. However, be careful what you ask for. The guardian ad-litem will be paid for by the courts and will only care about the baby's best interest - your opinon of what's in the best interest may not coincide with hers and it's hers that will count. They can and will threaten you to get what they want but the courts will do what they feel is best regardless of what you think. I've been all through it myself.

Mothers almost always get custody. DON'T let them scare you. My friend just went through this. Basically TX typically gives the mom the child for the majority of the time with dad having the child every other weekend or something.
I don't know if he pays child support but it is typically 20 percent of his income goes to you.
I hope everything works out for you. Keep us updated!

Oh sweetie! I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this! I can't even imagine! Do you have an attorney? If not, you really should get one. Maybe you can try to get one on a payment basis. Or call the bar association for a referral. Texas courts are very unpredicatable. Are you in Dallas county? What judge do you have? Have you done a social study? There are just way too many variables to say what will happen in your case. Depends on your living situation and ability to care for the baby..and his living situation and his ability to care the baby. I think you should make sure you are always on your best behavior and try not to be to emotional/irrational?unreasonable..because I have way too many friends that have screwed up while being in the midst of custody cases by not watching their actions (ie phone conversations, false allegations..etc etc..).

S.,

Have you retained an attorney? If not, you really need to - an attorney can handle all of your ex's [or his family's] comments, threats, etc., and will give you much more confidence in the situation.

If you can't afford one, locate an organization or group that can assist you with either providing legal aid, or something like that. You shouldn't have to go through this alone!

I had a "fun" time going through the whole custody/child support thing with my ex, too. He denied that our daughter was his, even though he knew very well she was. He sees her off and on, but does pay his child support, mainly because he didn't want his wages garnished, and his employer to know!

Do see if you can get some sort of representation - someone who knows how to play the game, and someone who can tell you how ridiculous your ex's/his family's threats are. They're threatening you now, hoping you'll give in. DON'T! If you feel you need to protect your child and your custody, do whatever it takes.

If your ex wants to be a positive person in your child's life, that's one thing, and it doesn't have to mean that he has to be a part of yours - I'm supportive of my ex's time with our daughter as long as it remains a positive thing for her. But I'm also lucky he lives in another state and just doesn't have time to see her that often. But before the case was settled, and he was saying all sorts of crazy things, I told him he could just talk to my attorney - we didn't need to discuss anything.

GOOD LUCK! Stay strong! You're doing the right thing, and I hope you can find an attorney who'll stand beside you and protect your rights, AND the rights of your child. Don't let those threats get to you - that's what people do when they feel weak. They threaten!

Take care, and best of luck to you tomorrow. Any mama who's doing the hard work of raising a child should shine through in court, and usually, the court sees that. The ex and parents can try to bully you, but that doesn't fly in a court of law.

Best wishes,
J.