I am in need of some advice. My husband has been in a bad custody battle with his ex wife. They have a 3 year old togeher. Recently, the mother has moved about 45 minutes away making it difficult for the week day visitation. The mother has been involved with a man that is into drugs and has had DCF called on her with 4 open reports including one involving the death of her 6 wk old. We have been through court and they have denied him temp custody of the child. The mother has recently admitted to doing drugs and failed a drug test. Even with this DCF is allowing her to keep custody of the child. They are helping her with counsling and weekly drug tests. My husband is crushed with this as you can see her behavior over the past few years has affected the child. It is constantly a battle for my husband to get his visitation time. His child loves his daddy and is always upset when he has to go back to his mothers. Why is it so hard for a father that has a solid surdy home to obtain temporary custody of his child when the mother clearly can not and has not cared for him the way he needs to be cared for. Any advise on how to get rights for my husband would be wonderful. We do have a lawyer and he has been fighting every step of the way. we have so much evidence on her to usually put her behind bars but she always comes out squeeky clean. There is more to this story but don't want to rattle on and on. She will not allow the child to go to a learning daycare facility, she has a private sitter that watches him durring the day. She constantly has him at the doctor for something, Asthma, which he doesn't have, and so forth.
That is WEIRD. Do you need another attorney? I have no advice for you, just keep fighting -- I can't believe they won't give him custody with her terrible track record. And a DEATH of a child, even.
Keep up the fight.
there is a fathers rights group i don't know how to find it though. if he has visitiation and for whatever reason she doesn't let the kid go have her arrested. if she is high on the return of her son in okla you have to hold custody from the high parent or its child endagerment. Having her diagnosed and treated for illness she doesn't have is child endangerment. do you have casa volunteers in your state if so get one.
Research the resources thru Family Crisis Centers and find a good "friend of the court" or child advocate lawyer. Something is not adding up... I hope you can save that little boy!
You need an Attorney... it can't be solved by yourselves.
Find a good one...
DOCUMENT everything...
Has the police been called? Is there a police report? Charges made?
This will provide proof and documentation...
Don't just rely on the DCF...
is the DCF like CPS? (child protective services?)
Has she EVER been charged with her crimes?
This is "child endangerment" and "neglect"...
that is why, file a police report if that has never been done, as well.
Therefore, it is a 'legal' issue/proof and not just the DCF saying something.
Bringing it into the police... thereby it brings it into a "criminal" realm, and provides proof etc.
Wow L.,
How confusing and frustrating. Has the social worker stated why they do not support dad's position? Is there something more in his past that may be effecting the sw's (or court's) opinion here? Working so closely with social services over the last 20 years as a therapist, I am confused too. Document any missed appts and access all medical info from the doctor (assuming dad has not lost these rights).
When one partner moves farther away, or outside of the court-agreed upon visitation distance, it usually falls upon the one moving (assuming the court agreed with this move in the first place) to ensure that transportation to make the visit happen is not an issue.
I am also curious if mom has been adhering to any other court recommendations (family counseling, parenting classes, etc.). I would also document everything dad may have done to show he would be a more appropriate choice at this time (i.e., counseling, parenting, etc.). I am sorry for your struggles. S. A. K., MFT
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chino-CA/S.-A-K.-Marriage-a...
Keep fighting! I wouldnt give up for a split second! Even if they keep denying him, push it... fight it! Is there anyway to PROVE that the mother is putting the child in the presence of the drugs? I think its dumb all around if a mother is proven to be doing drugs and that she has all these open cases with DCFS then it shouldnt be as hard for a father who is more stable to have custody! Its stupid how you have to prove things beyond what has already been proven! Its dumb! I have a friend that her husband had the same issues with their child... they have been taking the mother to court for years... documenting everything... every conversation... every single bit of information that came from the mother, or that was given to her! They are finally getting full custody and this mother is not into drugs... however she believed that children dont need to go to school and she also wouldnt take them to get medical care if needed... This mother even left her oldest daughter who was 15 at the time in montana state and took her daughters baby with her! Yeah her 15 yr old had a baby and she basically kidnapped the baby and left the 15 yr old to live in the streets alone! Unfit mothers bother me... if you dont want your child, why make it so damn impossible for the father, who loves and wants to care for the child, to get full custody! Ugh!!! Good luck with your situation... just remember to not give up, ever! Eventually the mother will or she will get busted for something! Prove to the judge that the child is in danger and it might help! Wish I could help more!
I would talk to a lawyer. Usually the initial consultation is free and they can usually give good advice.
Some lawyers actually specialize in Father's Rights, so you could look into that.
I know that different states have different laws. I also know that many child laws are designed with a "possession is 9/10 of the law" basis---meaning that if the mother had primary custody it is harder to remove a child, than if the custody was equal, or she only had visitation. It is supposed to protect the parents' rights actually (because some child welfare folks are overzealous and take kids from homes they should have been allowed to stay in), but there are problems with how it is enforced--leading to decreased rights of the child and the other parent, maybe. but the idea is that once a parent gives up (or loses) some or all of their "possession" of the child, it is really tough to get it back---that is why they make it so tough to remove the custody in the first place.
