Hi Moms,
I have read so many questions and responses in reference to divorce and custody, and all the responses have been so helpful. Reading all the responses has given me so many ways to look at what I am going thru, and some have answered questions that I wanted to ask myself. With all that being said, here is my question. I am getting ready to file for divorce and I am trying to work out a visitation schedule. Our kids are 4, 2,1 and one due in December. It is very hard to be pregnant and going thru this. And yes, we have tried counseling. My question is, my husband has a child (8 years old) from a previous marriage that he has the standard visitation agreement with already. I am wanting our kids to have visitation on the 2nd and 4th weekends and a few hours 4 days during the week instead of the standard 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends. With our children being so young, and needing so much attention, I don't think any of the kids want to share time with a daddy that the don't see full time anymore. My soon to be x has already had problems with his child from the previous marriage being jealous and acting out when he had to come to our house and Dad was busy feeding the baby or bathing the older ones. I am sure when the new baby comes, it will probably get worse. My husband thinks he can handle all of them at once, and I have my doubts to that. I am not sure if the judge would agree to that either. Any advice or suggestions would be helpful.
He may want all the kids at one time for selfish reasons, If he followed your schedule, he would not have a weekend to himself. I would find out if this is the case, if it is then maybe he would agree to one weekend all together and one weekend for just your shared children. This would leave him one weekend a month for himself.
my husband has two older kids with different moms and I can tell you unless your husband agrees to what you want a judge is not going to seperate siblings. My husbands second wife wanted the opposite weekend visitation too and my husband wanted his kids to stay together, he won easily, his lawyer said judges almost always try to keep as much of the family together as possible. Like it or not his older son is your children's brother and there really isn't a reason for you to try and separate them, siblings fight, but they should still have the opportunity to get to know each other.
Hello there,
I am sorry to hear about the breaking up of your family. Especially for the sake of the children. I know that you are in the process of filling right now. And that you have already been to councelling and it did not work. Well i beg you to try one more thing. it will only cost the price of a book and a few hours of reading.
It is a book called 'the proper care and feeding of husbands' and another called 'the proper care and feediing of marriage' they are both by dr laura slessinger. Please buy them and read them. Let your husband read the marriage one and you read the husband one. If after this nothing lights up and you both still want to get out, then do.
to bad for the kids though.
good luck during this difficult time
A.
B.:
Usually the Judge will agree to any visitation schedule you and your soon-to-be ex agree to. However, most Judges will not grant a divorce while you're pregnant, rather you would have to wait until after the baby has been born (unless there are some very unusual exceptions). There are special visitation schedules for children 2 and under per the Texas Family Code though. Please feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss further, my email is: ____@____.com
I am a family law attorney in the DFW area and would be happy to speak with you further.
A. McMurry
You might check the visitation policy for children under 3--it might dictate your arrangements. I knew a guy that had a child in a never-married situation and he was not able to have the child overnight until age 3. Good luck!
Personally, I think the other son from his previous marriage needs to come to terms with not being the only child. Now, that all the kids are not going to see dad full time they will all be in the same boat. He needs to have them all together so they all have a sense of being a family. By keeping them separate its giving the 8 year old a false sense of what reality is all about. He has siblings regardless how he feels about it. I also have a stepson who is 9 and we have a son. They need to feel like they are all brothers and sisters and to keep them separate would do them all damage in the long run. It will be challenging for the dad but hey, that is his deal. I am sorry that you are going through this and it will be very hard on the dad.
