Hi everyone,
I lived with my daughters father for 3 yrs in CA but when father found out i was pregnant he decided to abandon me when I was 3 months pregnant and moved to Vegas (I reside in Los Angeles, California). We had no contact with each other; however, when i filed for child support he decided to contact me about the baby and claim he wanted to be involved (to no avail). To make story short; we have gone to Child Support hearing 1 month ago and father is upset with amount he has been ordered to pay. He now has decided to file for 50/50 custody and overnight visitations plus is asking for me to pick up baby in Vegas and pay for half the traveling cost, with his main motivation in doing all this being to lower his child support amount. He has seen my daughter 2 times in 8 months, once when she was 6 months and second time when she was about 7 months, even after practically begging him to come and see her sooner and more frequently (he refused claiming no $ or time but made 80+ thousand last yr). Both times I was present and daughter was upset being around him since she does not know him. What is the likelihood of judge ruling in his favor? I have tried to come to an agreement with him, yet since I will not agree to overnights until daughter is older and well adjusted to him, he has refused to talk to me stating he will fight to get judge to order what he is asking for. I can't find anything online in regards to out of state visitations for babes in California. Can someone please let me know what I should be looking forward to and what the most likely outcome will be in all this. Thanks so much and sorry so long!
Hi guys thanks so much for your responses and advise. I will update you guys soon enough. Any preyers send my way will be greatly appreciated!. Thank you all!
Hi, sorry about this, and I have no experience or wisdom to give you, but I was wondering, do you breast feed? I had a friend who breast fed her baby a LONG time to avoid having to make a custody agreement like this.
Please consult with and hire an attorney.
He can fight all he likes, but the likelihood of a judge ruling in his favor is pretty slim until baby is older.
Please also consider: Your daughter DOES need a daddy. Try to get past the anger and hurt and work to help this relationship to grow. Girls with healthy relationships with their parents are more secure emotionally and make better decisions relationship-wise.
Instead of being difficult about his visitation, tell him your concerns and ask him for ideas on how he can get to know her better in an environment where she is happy and secure.
Best of luck!
C. Lee
It doesn't hurt to get advice, but I would just about bet that this is nothing but a threat and no papers will be filed with the court. When he really sits down and thinks about how his life will change completely when he has a baby in tow, I doubt he'll do anything.
If he does file, it will have to be in California. That alone will make him think twice. All court appearances, mediation, etc., will be done here. If you are breatfeeding, he definitely will not get what he wants until the baby is weened. Even if you're not breastfeeding, I doubt he gets that sort of visitation right off the top. He may have to come to California for weekends so he can have maybe 6 - 8 hour visitations on Sat and/or Sun until the baby is a bit older and has gotten to know him.
I also doubt that he'll get 50/50 physical custody, maybe legal custody, but not physical because of the distance. The baby was conceived in CA and still lives here; he's the one who moved so travel will be his responsibility.
Bottom line, I doubt he will do anything and all you can do for now is wait and see.
Little does he know that custody/visitation and child support are two separate issues. A judge will take into account his history, especially if you have plenty of documentation to back things up.
If you don't have an attorney already you really, really need to get one. You're not going to get great advice by researching online.
That's fine if he refuses to talk to you. It's not ok that he's threatening you if you don't go along with his demands.
Get an attorney, check legal aid, or the county for child advocacy assistance.
I quit contact with my ex during our separation. He also insisted on joint custody and 50% parenting time, so he wouldn't have to pay child support. When I wouldn't agree, he threatened me, but because we were no longer talking, it was all by email so I had it on "paper".
Document everything, your history with him, his lack of involvement and support and his unreasonable demands. No one can know how the judge will rule on your case, every judge is different. But having an attorney to counsel and represent you gives you the best chance of a good outcome for you and your daughter.
