J.J.
Well this may not be want you want to hear but her behavior sounds pretty normal. She just lost her home, her Mom who you said she was close to, and is now trying to adjust to a new family/living situation. I don't think the affection is inappropriate, she really needs affection from both of you. Spend as much time as you can with her, talk to her, read with her, homework together, pretty much anything you can think of to spend time with her. Both of you! Forcing her to call you Mom is not going to help the situation and it may make things worse. She will view you as trying to take the place of her Mom, even if it was Dad's idea. This will cause more issues with you, you don't need that. As for the wanting her parents together, she probably really does. I was much older than her when my parents remarried and I still had that fantasy. It is just what kids want. It doesn't matter if they even ever were together or if they even knew a parent or not. I would try to be empathetic to her feelings right now. Try not change too much since so much disruption in her life already. Just spend time loving her and being with her. She is likely feeling abandoned by her Mom. Therapy for her and for all of you would really help as well. Good luck, I hope the situation improves for you all. It really sounds difficult!