Father and Daughter

B. - That is a really tough situation. The best resource may be a professional, like a therapist or psychologist.

Aside from that, I have just have my own childhood. (I only have one child now, but I was the second of four kids.) My mom did a great job with us, often compensating for Dad's gaps in attention. She was a master at telling us how much he loved us and how he talked about us. I realize now that it may not have been all true. But it did encourage us to spend our attention on Dad when he came home each day. I occurs to me now that Mom removed a barrier between dad and us - by telling us that he wanted to be with us, we simply wanted to be with him. Kids who display love and attention for an adult often win that adult's devotion and attention.

I wish I had better advice or experience to offer. Best of luck to you.

Hello B.!

It sounds like a wonderful family. Don't be too discouraged with your boyfriend's behavior. Daddy's are like that. My sis and I are 19 months apart! I'm the oldest, both born in October but different years. However, when my sis was born, she was Daddy's girl.

Here's a suggestion I thought of for you. Get your hands on a video camera, buy or borrow one, or maybe use your cell phone if there is a camera function. Don't say anything to your boyfriend about what you will be doing except that "the girls grow so fast I want to capture their moments." Then, for a few days a week, video tape your boyfriend's actions as he interacts with your daughters. In other words, get it all on tape! After about a week's worth of taping, share the videos with him when you both have time to watch without being disturbed. Reserve all your comments until after he's seen the whole video. You know the old saying, "Pictures speak louder than words." Well, maybe he will be convinced he is not dividing his time equally between the girls! I'm sure he doesn't mean to do this, but he doesn't even know he's doing it! "Go to the video tape!"

All the best to you!

you could plan out a routine...when daddy comes home you and the 2 yr old get to go read a book while daddy plays with baby then you switch and daddy goes and reads a book to her... or plan your errands for when daddy is home and one day you take baby and one day you take big sis...get in the habbit of making alone time for each of your children now and it will become a habbit and nobody will feel left out....having more than one child is a balancing act...it takes practice but you'll both get better at it with time.

I would try one more time to explain how important some one on one time is once another baby comes along. Then schedule some Daddy time with the older daughter, like running errands or you and the baby go out and leave her home to watch a movie with Daddy while you get groceries. This will force them to spend some alone time together.