Family Rules - Lewisburg,OH

Ask before you touch something that doesn't belong to you. If the owner isn't around to ask, leave it alone.

What happens in the family, stays in the family.

Absolutely no phone or texting done at the dinner table (15 yr old). In fact, tech gadgets should not be allowed in the same rm during dinner. Your 9pm rule is superb !

We never answer the home phone during dinner...unless it's a true emergency ! We sit tog as a family and eat.

The kids can set the table and put their dishes in the dishwasher !

I have a great memory of my Mom's menu rule: I would get to pick out a few meals that my Mom would make the 1st and 3rd weeks of the month. My sibling would make a few meal choices on the 2nd and 4th weeks.
The monthly calendar was posted on the frig. I had so much fun choosing my favorite meals. I got to pick 6 meals a month.

One night a week...Have a family board game night.

In my parenting classes, I mention that a few rules w/ consequences are better than too many rules that don't have any consequences. Have some family rituals, too. The kids will remember them (Like the menu rule above).

Can't Decide is right-o !

kids put their dirty clothes in their hamper.
kids help sort their clothes for the laundry.
kids help put their clean clothes away
their bed is their space. if they can't get along in the living room, they can go sit on their bed.

Communicate with your children. Help them understand personal privacy, mutual respect, etc.

Instead of laying out a big board of rigid rules, communicate with each other. I think you are aiming for a happy household and if children have so many rules to constantly follow, it does not make for a happy place.

Of course, there are basic rules that everyone should understand as far as the name calling, electronics, curfew, etc but use communication as your friend and then in the long run, your children will come to you to chat about daily life, issues they may be having, etc. Just keep communication wide open.

You need guidelines on curfews. I would also say no electronics at the table and what chores can each child help with?

Ask your kids.
We have a sibling constitution that the kids made up one day.
1. Take turns and share
2. Never borrow anything without asking first
3. Return borrowed items in the condition they started
4. Respect each other's privacy
5. Always knock before entering
6. Be kind

They wrote the rules.
I printed them, framed them, and hung them on the wall between their rooms where they see it every day.

YMMV

L.:

If it's not yours, don't touch it.

Knock before you enter a room - ANY room - bathroom, bedroom (that establishes boundaries and respect).

What are the consequences for breaking the rules?

What are the benefits to following the rules?

What is the communication like in the house already? Do the adults follow the same rules? Do they show the same respect or are the adults above the law?

if the rules are the same for EVERYONE and communication is open and honest? The rules come naturally.

Good luck!

The bottom line to all of this is:
Teach them to be a "TEAM."
You are all family.
Of all different ages and personalities.
No one is the same.
However, teaching them to be a TEAM, and to have each others back, is very important.
And how to look out for each other, in kindness and thoughtfulness.

Teach them "try your best...." to things.

well, I've always followed the premise that you teach them young.....& keep those rules enforced....without a rule book, guideline, poster/chart.

For me, this boils down to "manners", & as parent, you set the standards.

With my sons, each was responsible for his own room. That meant, keeping it clean....vacuuming, dusting, putting laundry away. & since there's 9 years between my sons, the other chores were easy. By the time my younger son was ready to step in, my older son was on his way out. :)

& with physical guidelines, again...it went back to "manners". Nothing wrong with wrestling & rough-housing. & everything wrong with lashing out verbally or physically in a moment of anger.

You know, now that I think about it....between Scouts & religion school, these basics were covered & we just had to pick/choose what we wanted to enforce.

I based our house rules off of the Love & Logic Parenting Method, mostly for my 15-year-old nephew who has a lot of issues.

We kept them pretty short and simple and worded in a "this-is-what-we-will-do" way.

1. We provide desert and snacks to those who brush their teeth and eat meals without complaint. (Help yourself to water or fruit in the basket on the counter at any time.)

2. We provide tv/games/computer time for those who use a reasonable volume, watch nice videos and take turns without being reminded.

3. We allow playing to continue as long as it is kind and respectful: no picking up, no hitting, no pushing, no teasing, no taking toys.

4. If we have to clean up someone else's mess after asking them to do so, whatever we pick up will be taken away until it is earned back by doing chores or behaving for the rest of the day.

Again, these were written with my high-needs nephew in mind. Mentally he is more like an immature 10-year-old, but they are good guidelines for my little kids to follow as well.